Year 11 support thread

[pasanda]

I can't find a new thread, moving on from the old full one, so I thought I would create one (please tell me if I'm wrong!)

Last night ds stayed up till 4.30am doing his biology coursework

This time the tsunami affect didn't work and he left it far too late to do a reasonable job. Which is a bloody shame because he wants to do biology A level and he has done so well in his other controlled assessments.

I wait with bated breath to find out his mark

Oh well, thank God for half term!!

[HappyMum543]

Good luck to all the DC this year that are sitting their gcse

[dillonmck]

Sorry I'm just placemarking so I can find this thread easily again when my level of stress or my intake of gin as a result of stress is too high to manage the search process! Dd is not really working at all and as someone who did work hard a loooong time ago it's really hard to watch. I have a continuous mantra in my head "back off, back off" as I think my intermittent (but fairly continuous) nagging is probably hindering rather than helping. She is very prickly...and yet I fear come august she'll be cross at me for not pushing her to work more (but as I'm finding out you just can't do that..or at least I don't seem to be able to). Have a feeling mumsnet might be the only thing that keeps me sane...

[Iamnotminterested]

I just wanted to say...no more History coursework for DD, YAY!! She got her grade back today and got an A* for it (and it counts for 25% of the final mark). I'm really pleased as she wants to take A-level history. Whoop whoop

[dillonmck]

Thank you Draylon & really interesting. I do think one of the problems is fear of failure definitely. I think if she engages with the idea of revision/exams she feels anxious so she goes into denial & avoids it all, but can't keep that up (because obviously they're happening whether she likes it or not) so starts to think about it again, feels anxious and off it all goes again. She's normal & lovely when we're all pretending it's not happening but as soon as I even say a few words about it all is lost (prickly was a definite understatement).

The whole thing is so frustrating & denial does seem pretty attractive from here (hence the gin ). I bought yet another lovely exam board revision text today (English lit poetry) & she barely even acknowledged its presence. In a calmer moment I may indeed try just gently saying this is her time & I'll do the support etc but she needs to figure out how she wants to do it and part of that is being OK with maybe not doing how she wants in August. Meanwhile Easter is my new deadline for vicarious abject panic...

[minesawine]

Morning everyone. This thread has been quiet for a few days so I am presuming all is well in your households with your DC's happily revising and preparing for their exams.

My DS has got much better and is revising every day, although it is still a bit half hearted and he just seems to be writing lots of study cards!!! I am trying so hard not to nag too much, but going into a panic when I think about how few weeks we have left.

Lots of study classes and intervention at school, including Saturdays. They have to present a study plan for the half term, which he has not started. He is getting fed up with the constant exam routine, break time, lunch time, after school, Saturdays. I am too!

And I have also got him a maths tutor to go through the exam technique with him, He is struggling to unpick all the words around each question to get to what he really needs to do.

I am a bit happier, but am still living with a constant knot in my stomach. Roll on 17 June.

[pointythings]

Blimey, Saturday sessions and mandatory revision plans? I'm glad we have none of that, DD is being offered quite enough. She is being told to back down and cool it with the revision over Easter - she needs the break.

She got B+ for Physics second mock, which is an improvement and was a very hard exam, and 7/8 for English lit/lang mock which she was happy with. This weekend she had 8 items of revision type homework and has done it all - a total of about 10 hours' worth over 2 days... But that is all of her homework for the whole week so she can now spend her weeknights working through her revision plan.

[HappyMum543]

My ds does couple of hours on weekends because he has morning school on Saturday's and mon- Friday he has school and after school tution for maths english and science.
He's improved alot in science english he's still at a 5 and maths -4 he really wants a grade 6 for maths but they very hard still time to improve.
I've stopped nagging too much now because he's under pressure as it is because of the new grade markings for maths

[Laniakea]

so utterly stressed here, non school stuff mostly but just urgh.

DD had her 6th form interview today & it was good, she's in for the A levels she wants - physics, chemistry, biology - needs to get A/B/B & a 6 for maths and 5 for English which is be perfectly achievable unless she utterly fucks up. She's also down to do an EPQ, which again is fine she thought about doing it this year but wanted to do drama instead. Bit of a surprise though because at the 6th form evening they said they were considering dropping them.

But they've also asked her to do maths. I think maths A level would be a disaster for her and she's said absolutely no but they suggested that she joins the maths classes in year 12 but stops at the end of the year without getting a qualification in it. The suggestion is that it would help with physics (by far her best subject - we've talked at length with her teachers about doing physics A level with no maths and they are fine with it) and also because the course she wants to do at university is very maths heavy. She has a couple of weeks to think about it before they finalise the timetables. I think it is a good idea in theory but 3 heavy going A levels + EPQ + maths AS (effectively I guess) = too much? Dunno - I'm going to email the 6th form ppl, I wish they had discussed it with us as well as her, there are lots of potential issues she won't have thought to ask about.

She has her blocks though & is with loads of her friends so is happy! The physics class has three other girls apart from dd (all her close friends) - last year no girls did physics so a massive improvement.

So much homework and the creative writing deadline is looming so she's snowed under. They are doing a 'walking talking mock' for one of the sciences every week now (instead of PDP). English masterclass on Saturday was great but geog after school revision sessions so far not. They had to produce a revision timetable at mentoring last week - dd hasn't done one - she just showed evidence that she's been working (tassomai, revision cards etc) got a lecture about no working too hard but I honestly think it isn't a problem in her case.

[Fleurdelise]

DS still not doing much revision at home but a lot at school, the sciences and maths/English. He's also going to 3 all day revision sessions during half term, computer science and English Lit and Language.

Took a total step back, I mention revision from time to time but very rarely. I am stressed as we didn't prepare dd much for her 11+ as she would be guaranteed a place at DS's school on the sibling rule however he needs to get into sixth form for that. I know it isn't his responsibility to get his sister into the right school but I was a lazy parent thinking I won't put much effort into it based on the above. Ds obviously doesn't know my stress levels are high because of that also as I don't want him to feel the responsibility in any way.

Saying that we did get his sixth form offer and there's a 99% security he'll get in based on his current grades but you never know.

He had mocks in English and maths again and managed 6s in both so fingers crossed.

August can't come soon enough here. Or better still, October so the 11+ is out of the way also.

[Laniakea]

Fleur 6s in maths & English is great - really encouraging :)

This isn't much fun is it?

Have had a further chat with dd & looked at her blocks, if she did the maths she'd have all five blocks filled & no free periods. Maths is also oversubscribed, and she doesn't want to do it anyway - she's agreed to go on the waiting list so she can decide post-results whether she wants to do it or not but I'd be amazed if she did. More stress for nothing.

[namechange7711]

Laniakea - it's interesting that you say Physics is your DD's best subject, but you think her doing Maths A-level would be a disaster. Normally DCs that are good at one are good at the other, as there's so much overlap. We were told that Physics A-level is 60% maths, so the 2 schools DS is looking at don't let DCs do Physics unless they also do Maths.

Also, you say that the degree she's interested in is maths-heavy, so surely keeping her maths up would be a good thing?

Don't forget that until this year, it was perfectly standard practice to start with 4 A-level subjects (plus an EPQ if wanted) and then to drop one subject after Y12...which is what the school seems to be suggesting for your DD.

[noblegiraffe]

This is why my school is making Core Maths a requirement for science
A-levels.

Doing maths with a 6 in Y12, having to put in all the work it would need to keep up and then having nothing to show for it seems the worst of both worlds. At the very least they should offer to put her in for AS maths.

[LIZS]

Busy couple of weeks here. Music exam last week , rehearsals for GCSE Drama performance, Dance show and Concert next, and Parents' evening on Monday.

I'd agree that normally Physics and Maths would go together.

[Ontopofthesunset]

There still doesn't seem to be much time for independent revision for DS. Most of his homework is revision or consolidation, though, so I don't suppose it makes much difference, but it feels as if he is not 'revising'. They are still covering a history topic. French oral today (yikes!) and lots of rehearsing for drama. So this weekend he had biology flashcards to learn, 30 mins of maths paper, Latin revision for a test, French oral preparation, English paper to do and new history homework. I feel he could have done more independent work but he maintains he is doing all he needs to.

[Feeeeee]

Hi just wanted some advice dd is really struggling with exam stress, not sleeping, not eating properly, very tearfull at times, doesn't want to go to school when she exams, mock exam results were not what her school expected.
Have been trying to get the school on board with no joy, have made 5 call over 4 weeks not one call back! Is this because she is now 16??? Gp had referred her to camhs who have just sent a letter saying they won't see her! Don't know where to go now, any suggestions? Thanks

[FancyFingers]

Feeeeee, sorry to hear your dd is stressed so much. Is she openly talking to you about her worries?

I keep telling Ds I'm always on his side, no matter what.

What's her appetite/sleep like? Does your dd's school have a contact for pastoral care?

Is there a particular subject she is worried about?

Have you tried something like Rescue Remedy? - I get panic attacks/anxiety and find it really helps me.

[Feeeeee]

Hi thank you for your replies.

Well she is tending to eat crap food instead of healthy options and doesn't eat at all at school, meals wise she is no longer clearing her plate. She is finding it hard to get to sleep and then when she does she is waking during the night and again struggling to get back to sleep.

She is top set for everything and on the high ability programme, predicted a's in everything, all controlled assessments have been a* and a's but mock exams were terrible the higest grade was a d, e, 2 ungraded, maths was 5 and English were 3 and 4!

She had a meeting with vice principal and principal, she mentioned getting stressed and they have still not dealt with it she left that meeting went to p.e and had a break down with her teacher and no one has called to tell me about either.

Just don't know how to help her.

Have tried her on some herbal stuff, doesn't help at all.

[noblegiraffe]

I had a high-flying student who had a breakdown like that in Y11 too, Feeee, they ended up taking time off school and doing nothing but look after themselves - exercise, reading, sleeping and so on. They came back refocused and went on to do really well in their GCSEs. Have you considered a complete break like that?

[Feeeeee]

No I haven't, not so sure the school would be that supportive if I'm honest.

was thinking about trying to take her out on her own for a few days over the Easter holidays but as I also have an 11 year old I would need to find someone to have him, which isn't easy.

Am also trying to find something different to do with her after exams have finished so she has something to look forward to.

She used to do some sports and go to the gym but she gave that up about a year ago, trying to convince her to go back to doing something so she has some time away from us, her friends and her books, again she is just not interested.

Just feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall and everyone I have asked for help has said no.

[noblegiraffe]

Doesn't matter if the school isn't supportive, they're not being supportive anyway. Phone her in sick for a week.

What good is ploughing ahead going to do her? If she's a high-flyer and has worked hard for these exams since Y7, then clearing her head will be more effective at increasing her exam marks than banging her head against a brick wall at school.

[Feeeeee]

Didn't think of it like that, she has exams and moderaters in this week maybe the week after would be good, her brother would also be at school so we could have girly time. Thanks noblegiraffe.

[noblegiraffe]

👍 I hope it helps! Tell her you're doing it too, don't give her a choice. Show her that her mental health is more important than her exams.

Has anyone discussed with her why her mocks went so badly? Panic? Has she been given any strategies for dealing with exam panic? Maybe have a look at relaxation and refocusing techniques. think there are apps that can help.

Also if you haven't already been, the GP might be able to help, they see quite a few kids at this time of year needing an anti-anxiety prescription.