Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

1 2 3

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Secondary education

Dd moving schools, current school wants her to stay until the end of this term

57 replies

lottielou7 · 28/05/2016 09:40

I posted a while back about the problems my dd has been having in her independent school and how I had decided to try to move her. These were issues affecting other people but having an impact on her, emotionally as there are only 20 students in the year. We went to look at one of the local schools which is very difficult to get a place at. All of our secondary schools are oversubscribed but this one is particularly so. She and I were both impressed with it when we had a tour and she was pleased with the art department too, which is important because she's exceptionally talented in that area. They have offered her a place to start after half term.

This has all come as a bit of a shock to her current school and I've been asked to go to a meeting with the head, but this will be after half term now. The head of year has said that moving dd after half term won't give her or her peers time to come to terms with the fact she's leaving.

It is a shame because she loves the teachers at this school (and was crying last night because she will miss them) but not the students so much. I think that speaks volumes though!

I feel it would be best for her to move after half term but I'm second guessing myself now because her current school wants her to stay at least until the end of term. Am I doing the right thing?

OP posts:

Report

Haffdonga · 01/06/2016 14:23

I'm shocked at a school needing time to come to terms with a pupil leaving. More like come to terms with losing your fees I guess.

I hope you fill in the old school fully on why your dd wasn't happy and the bullying of the SN pupil. It sounds awful.

I think moving her now is absolutely the right decision. Otherwise she has the whole 'new school' thing looming over the summer holidays. Plus it sounds very much as if her old school planned to work on her to get her to change her mind. Not impressive.

nuttymango · 01/06/2016 14:05

Move her after half term, she'll be settled in for September then.

Lottielou7 · 31/05/2016 18:39

Thank you Haggis

OP posts:

Haggisfish · 31/05/2016 18:36

I agree-hope your dd settles in well.

Lottielou7 · 31/05/2016 18:30

I wouldn't have agreed for her to go there if I thought it was bad. We looked at Monmouth Girls school and dd preferred this one. Many of the schools which were 'desirable' when I was a child no longer are. So really I don't think a school depends as much on its catchment as the people running it.

OP posts:

Haggisfish · 31/05/2016 18:25

I think I know the school you are chatting about, having contributed to other thread! Ime students quickly settle in and make new friends, even when they know no one else. Schools buddy them up with the lovely kids and that school is very good now. She'll be fine!

Lottielou7 · 31/05/2016 18:21

I've posted to ask advice and unfortunately all I've got in response is negative (irrelevant) information about one of the sister schools which is undersubscribed (the one my dd is going to is oversubscribed). And someone else telling me it was a terrible school back in the day when it was run by different people entirely and had different governors.

OP posts:

CremeBrulee · 30/05/2016 19:04

Move her as you have planned. What the current school means it that if you move her now, it won't be able to manage the shockwave of parental gossip that will ensue as a result. They are worried that parents will notice you leaving and might follow suit.

Sadik · 30/05/2016 19:00

(Though dd's friend actually moved to a third and entirely different school in another town, hence why she didn't know anyone at all.)

Sadik · 30/05/2016 18:59

I wouldn't worry too much about not knowing anyone. A friend of dd's recently moved schools due to bullying, she didn't know anyone at all at the new school, but has settled really well already after only a very few weeks. Being new makes you exciting - I see that at dd's school, everyone wants to hang out with the new girl/boy & get to know them :)

I've actually seen a fair few dc move between the two local schools (in both directions!), and I think in every case it's been transformative, just getting a new start has made all the difference.

KingscoteStaff · 30/05/2016 17:22

What about through her hobbies? Guides or cadets or hockey clubs tend to draw girls from a wider area - might there be someone there?
But harnessing the power of mumsnet is probably the best plan!

FishWithABicycle · 30/05/2016 16:33

No, she doesn't know anyone at all! And I don't know how to find anyone unfortunately
If you change your nn and post in chat "anyone got a child at xxxx school" you can probably find a fellow mn-er to meet up with. And threads like that are so common that no one will connect it to this situation.

CodyKing · 30/05/2016 16:23

Well let DD know she can invite friends round - and look out for any clubs etc near the new school - does she have a phone? It does help with arranging things

lottielou7 · 30/05/2016 14:15

No, she doesn't know anyone at all! And I don't know how to find anyone unfortunately. We are not near the catchment area, although still in the same town.

OP posts:

KingscoteStaff · 30/05/2016 13:34

Definitely move now.

Does she know anyone at the new school? If not, can you dig out a friend of a friend with a daughter there? A meet up this week will help her next Monday. I

t will also give you a steer as to whether you need to buy all the uniform now - the child may tell you that no one's wearing their jumpers at the moment, or that everyone's swapped from tights to socks.

lottielou7 · 30/05/2016 12:42

Another problem with the small year groups is that my dd was in the lower set for languages because there isn't room for her in the higher set. She scores higher than some people in the top group and says the lower group holds her back.

OP posts:

lottielou7 · 30/05/2016 12:40

Yes, my dd wasn't the target of the bullying. But seeing the child with SEN treated so badly every day really took its toll on her unfortunately. And as others have said in a year of 20 (and class of 10) there is no escape. My view is that if the school agreed to enrol the child in question then it is their responsibility to make sure that her needs are met and deal with the bullying.

Apparently the girls say to this child 'Don't sign up for that activity because nobody wants you to go'

OP posts:

CodyKing · 30/05/2016 12:03

I'm all for being inclusive - but there comes a stage when this policy disrupts the education of the whole class - in DD case the child was being violent towards staff and children alike - he's bullying one child so badly he's had a breakdown - DD wasn't learning and was frustrated - she was never the target - but dealt with the fallout -

I don't know your back ground - but she's settled and happy and learning she made a new group of friends and is enjoying school which ultimately what we all want for or DC

Let us know how she gets on!

lottielou7 · 30/05/2016 11:26

I will go in and see the head but I'm not going to change my mind and will start her next Monday at the new school as planned. Hopefully I can explain to the head the situation. It is strange how in year 6, none of this was apparent (until the girl with SEN joined). It's like suddenly certain circumstances make people show their true colours.

OP posts:

NattyTile · 30/05/2016 08:02

If it's important for the other school to say goodbye, then I'm sure they could invite her back for a farewell assembly or end of term party or something. But far more important for your daughter to get to know her new classmates before the summer holidays.

lottielou7 · 29/05/2016 23:19

I'm feeling much better about moving her after half term now. She also seems happy about it and apparently won't miss any of her current peers.

I'm always grateful for mumsnet because reading a thread like this seems to help me see things more clearly.

OP posts:

lottielou7 · 29/05/2016 23:19

I'm feeling much better about moving her after half term now. She also seems happy about it and apparently won't miss any of her current peers.

I'm always grateful for mumsnet because reading a thread like this seems to help me see things more clearly.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

eyebrowse · 29/05/2016 21:32

Definitely move her. It would be half a term in limbo otherwise. She needs to get on with her life. Starting after the summer holidays will give her six weeks of worry as to what the new school will be like.

lottielou7 · 28/05/2016 10:59

Yes, I did feel the the problems there are encouraged by some of the other parents. So impossible for the school to sort out really.

Thanks again. I do feel better reading all your comments. The new school have arranged for her to have a learning mentor for her who is going to meet her on the first day. She has done their entrance test so I see no reason for her not to move really. They have gone to a lot of trouble to show us everything in detail. We looked at another girls school but she would have to board (which she didn't want) and she didn't like it as much as the school we've chosen.

OP posts:

alltouchedout · 28/05/2016 10:40

Oh definitely move her when you think it's best, not according to their wishes. You could make it clear to them that if theirs were opinions you were likely to be swayed by, you wouldn't be removing your child from their school. Why on earth do they think you're going to listen to them?

Unflip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.