Horrible kids on bus, what can I do?

[Psipssina]

Ds started his new secondary school on Monday. It's a nice school, but he got punched by an aggressive Y7 and I had a thread about this.

The kid has been in internal exclusion all week until now.

They get the same bus unfortunately. The kid has a friend and ally. Today on the way home, they were both having a go at Ds, another Y7 intervened calmly and got punched in the face while the other one tried to trip him/kick him down the stairs.

The kid started throwing people's bags around and emptied someone's PE kit down the stairs. Throwing bottles at people's heads as well. And then they started telling Ds that they're going to fuck his mum, in great detail which Ds didn't want to repeat to me.

No one told the driver. It's June; surely the school has had time to deal with this situation by now? What on earth should I do - Ds is refusing point blank to get the bus tomorrow. I can take him by car but we'll be late as ds2 is at another school near here.

[Psipssina]

I know, he feels really at home there already and it's thanks to how the school have handled it but also to the great kids they have there - the whole ethos seems positive and caring.

I wish we had gone for this school in the first place!

[momtothree]

Wow.... what a confidence boost for your boy... kids looking out for him, standing up for him ... that alone makes a huge difference, and puts a bit of swagger in their step!! All good.

[Psipssina]

Thanks guys, that means a lot. I'm impressed with the school too - they really seem to be onto it.

The bus company are taking it very seriously and have asked the school for statements. I don't know what they will do.

Ds is home now - he is very chirpy! He says the main kid has been excluded for five days, and if it happens again he will be permanently excluded. They must be at the end of their rope

The other kid who was going along with it, sat with ds on the bus home (along with the 2 y9 security guards he was assigned!!) and apologised profusely and said he was so wrong, and doesn't really like the other kid anyway, and it will never happen again. I think he sounded genuine by what ds said.

Apparently the nice kid who defended Ds said to thank me for telling the school, which was unexpected! So I've told ds to tell him I'm very grateful to him for what he did.

I hope this is the end of it now. There were other kids there this morning when we went in who were asking me if ds was Ok - it was lovely actually! Ds didn't even know them but they had obviously seen what happened.

Thanks very much for all the support on here. I really needed to talk about it and you helped me massively

[ealingwestmum]

Also seen your last thread on this OP, both made me feel sad but so pleased you have a school taking the correct measures - your boy sounds lovely and I hope this does not put him off what sounds like otherwise a good school move. Didn't know what to add as I am still a few months away from the public transport transition and it's a situation we all hope won't happen, but all too often, does.

Jellyhead - your boy sounds like he too is a credit to you, admire your honesty and the fact that you have dealt with a condition that does not come with a physical sign for all to see or recognise straight away, but nevertheless you dealt with it head on at the time.

[SallyMcgally]

honk??! bloody I-pad. That should have been 'I think'.

[toothlessoldhag]

OP: your poor son. I've just read this through having seen your other thread. Tell him that it sounds as though he's being very brave and it's wonderful he has a friend so willing to stand up for him. At least it sounds as if the school is taking it seriously. You must be so upset for him.

Hoping for more positive news for you.

[Psipssina]

Thanks Sally

[SallyMcgally]

Well done OP. Hope your son has a much better day today. I honk it's the school who tell the bus company to revoke the pass. Happened to a boy here.

[Psipssina]

ds seems to think there is CCTV on board. I have no idea if it's just signs or if there will have been tape in there.

Also who decides whether to revoke a bus pass - school or the bus people? I think there is a schools liaison officer at the bus company, think that's what the email says.

[momtothree]

Will be interested to see CCTV. The school relies on the bus company for school buses so its in their interest to acknowledge bad behaviour.

[MythicalKings]

Sounds like the school have it in hand. I hope it works out.

[Psipssina]

Oh and also they said they had been working very hard with the child (think they mean the one who started it) for a while but it clearly isn't working. I said it isn't their fault and he wasn't representing the school, he probably has a difficult background, they are doing their best. I guess when a child is told one thing at school and then goes home to parents who perhaps tell him to carry on with the undesirable behaviour, he won't know what to do.

[Psipssina]

Small update in case anyone's interested. I took him to school and we got there about 9, which was good as they were already onto it - spoke with about 3 members of staff who were keen to make it clear it wasn't acceptable, as before.

They are talking to the kids and getting statements from them including the lovely one who stood up for Ds. They said it's likely one of them will be going home today for a few days.

I asked about the bus home and they said either the kid won't be on it as he will already have left, or someone will be with him making sure he is supervised fully. (not sure how fair this is on a 6th former but still!!)

Heard back briefly from the bus company who are going to respond properly when they have looked into it.

So all good so far. Ds was really subdued this morning though, very anxious, didn't want to go to school at all

I really hope he will be alright.

[Psipssina]

Thanks so much Jelly, it must have been very difficult to deal with that. Hopefully people would understand if they knew he had SN. Actually, one of the children having a go at Ds might have SN, we're not sure. But he isn't just messing about, it's far more aggressive.

Very pleased to hear your Ds has turned a corner! I guess many of them turn out to be lovely young men, just not sure in this case - I am sure your Ds never went around punching people.

Massive storm this morning and pouring with rain so I'm going to take Ds in the car - we did find an earlier bus, but he went out and got drenched so came home again!

I'll report back later when I have spoken to school - I think being a bit late will give them a chance to organise something before he gets in.

[Psipssina]

Good idea Why, thank you. Ds said he hopes to get the boy's number as he really likes him. So I guess he doesn't have it at the moment.

I'll email the bus company if it's them who can withdraw the pass. I hope the school would liaise with them on our behalf tbh.

[Whyjustwhy]

Dd gets a public bus to school but has a free bus pass provided by the LEA. The terms in the pass are very clear, any bad behaviour and the pass will be withdrawn and parents are then responsible for getting the child to school
So if this is a public bus, complain to the bus company and the LEA about the driver and the bad behaviour.
And definitely complain to the school too
If your DS has contact details for the friend who intervened, maybe phone up and speak to his mum, she will probably appreciate it given it was her child who was hurt.

[Psipssina]

Reason I don't want to contact the police is that Ds wasn't assaulted today. His friend was, who tried to intervene. I don't want to report this without the other child's consent iyswim.

[Psipssina]

Jellyhead

That was very brave to post that. Thank you. I was wondering if they would be able to stop the other kid from getting the bus. I'm not sure if they need evidence etc.

There's no other way Ds can get there without a lot of bother.

[SallyMcgally]

Oh your poor DS, and poor you too - it's heart-breaking. I'd make sure you hear from the school first thing in the morning, and if you're not happy with the way they handle it, at that point you could say to the school that you could make it a police matter, unless you're confident that they can ensure your son's safety.

[Psipssina]

There are only two buses from this town and only one that's convenient...the other one would mean ds waiting an extra half hour after school and getting off somewhere further from home. Plus going out a lot earlier in the morning.

Maybe they can switch the other kid to this bus. It is a dedicated bus for the school but it is public as well, not sure how that works tbh in terms of who is in charge.

[Psipssina]

Thanks guys. Sally, and Geoff, I'm sorry you had this too. I've already taken him out of one school due to bullying.

He was in floods of tears and said he felt like he should kill himself (bit shocked to hear that). He was crying on the bus and everyone was on his side, he said the driver didn't give a shit though.

I hope they can exclude this kid, they've already had his parents in this week apparently. Fat lot of good that did.

[Callmegeoff]

Have you spoken to the school?

When dd1 started year 7 in September the behaviour was awful on the bus. But the school tackled it quite quickly, surveillance cameras in operation children given warnings and 1 child who never behaved was permanently excluded from the bus, he had to come by public transport. I think it's fine now but she does prefer to sit downstairs fairly close to the driver!