Is this normal for a typical ordinary state high school?

[saadia]

Ds started Y7 at our local high school this month. It was not my first choice but we had no other option really. As a school it is improving and overall I am pretty happy with it.

There have been a few incidents though. Ds said that as he was going to class one day an older boy shouted in his ear for no reason. A few days ago ago again going to class he accidentally got in someone's way and they started pushing him and his friends around. Ds and friends reported this to the Year Head, but so far nothing has been done. One day on the way home from school two older boys started walking with him and making rude comments about some teachers. They threatened to come home with him but then didn't. Ds said he was a bit worried about it.

When I think back to my school days this kind of thing was pretty normal and part of me thinks ds needs to toughen up and deal with the real world but are these incidents signs of problems at the school or would they happen in most places?

[clary]

I meant that the year 7 needs to realise that every little thing (and I say again that this sounded like a little thing) will not cannot be chased up ad infinitum. And actually to chase them all up would not be helpful sometimes because children need to learn to deal with things themselves a bit. He may need to man up a bit. That's all. Sorry to anyone whose child has been bullied (my DS1 has too) and takes offence.

[KittiesInsane]

OP, if your son isn't too worried about it, that's probably your answer really. Just alert the school and keep an eye on whether it's building up.

There has to be room for wisdom and judgement in dealing with all of these things; let's hope Domino and Clary both have that in spades to do their job well.

When he first moved schools DS was very worried about going to the new school staff with problems in case it made things worse, as it had before. He did suffer some physical bullying once -- by coincidence, this was the week after DS'd rightly been in deep trouble himself for something, so he was worried that the school would view him as a troublemaker and not listen to his side of the story.

Instead, they backed him to the hilt, and said that whatever his previous behaviour he had the right to feel safe at school. It hammered the message home for DS from both sides: that bad behaviour wouldn't be tolerated from him or from anyone else.

[LemonLies]

Ds said that as he was going to class one day an older boy shouted in his ear for no reason. A few days ago ago again going to class he accidentally got in someone's way and they started pushing him and his friends around. So are kids expected to put up with this sort of thing then?

[BurberryQ]

yes they are IME - for example the running and shoving in the corridor - a couple of boys came running up behind my dd and put their hands on her shoulders and were jumping up and down shouting insults in her ear?
so she halfturned and did a kind of 'get OFF' side punch at them? but forgot she was holding a pencil...
the next thing i am being told that dd had 'stabbed a boy' who had done nothing to provoke her....

[LemonLies]

Depressing

[TheWave]

clary the thing is in year 7 they get mixed messages from different teachers.

You sound very sensible but it does look to them as if the small things are important to some teachers and threats of doing things wrong are very real. Some teachers do go OTT to show who is in charge.

Sticking in sheets wrongly could result in a sanction so best to ask is a good example.

[LemonLies]

I think it is depressing because no one would put up with having someone shouting in their ear or being physically pushed around in the work place and yet we expect children to put up with it at school.

[Sparklingbrook]

DS1 had an older boy rifling through his rucksack on his back as he walked down the corridor. To me that was unacceptable. Then he got shoved into a bush and had to go to first Aid to have the splinters removed from his hand.
DS1 is quiet and not all that confident-it bothered him.