Applying to Eton, Harrow, and Winchester

[DeTamble]

I am considering applying to Eton, Harrow, and Winchester.

My son has not yet reached the registration cut-off dates, he has a December birthday, and is in the state system. Without making this long, he's a bit of a chameleon and would be okay in any of them. It's too late for us to go the Prep route, as I can't seem to find any schools which accept boys late and also give out the necessary bursary we would need.

Has any one got any experience about applying to those three schools? Yes, I know I can call the schools, but I want to hear from 'real' people and their experiences. Also, do people even apply to that many schools, and what happens if you get conditional places to each? Any other details? Any knowledge of the realities of coming from the state system?

[summerends]

Sorry previous post crossed your post. MCS = Magdalen College not Malvern. I stuck to boys only in that list.
If you were just going for say Eton, that sounds reasonable but putting him through all three would be pretty demoralising for him especially if he is only rejected because of the financial hurdle.

[happygardening]

grovel as non team sports player the lack of compulsory team sports at Win Coll is a big selling point for my DS oh and uniform!

[DeTamble]

@summerends That's what I want to know, do people apply to three such schools. Winchester and Eton both are generous in their bursaries and give them to non-scholarship children, but Harrow is only generous to scholarship children and do not offer bursaries to non-scholarships. He is clever and I think he does stand a chance at being accepted, but I wouldn't say he's scholarship material. I don't want him to over-push him. How do people think it would be, stress wise, if we applied and he did the pre-selection to the three, and then just kept one, on the off chance he was even offered a place at one, let along two of them.

I liked Magdalen, but it's got to be boarding, though we can move anywhere for the rest of his primary when we come back, we will be moved again within a couple of years and he will need to board then. Also, if we're going co-ed we'd rather the school he's already got a place at, he could also be day, as we have family around it. It's not of the calibre of the top UK schools but they get good results and do well by their students and he would be happy there, and there's no stress for us or him to get in.

@happygardening Amusingly I like the Eton and Harrow uniforms, I like ridiculous uniforms. I wanted to go to Christ's Hospital as a child, my parents said no.

[happygardening]

You like ridiculous outdated uniform, you want full boarding, a school very happy to take children from the state sector and at 11 which would be very useful in your situation, generous bursaries and good academic results then I'm surprised your not seriously looking at Christs. Admittedly it's coed but most people have to make some sort of compromise.
Lots of children will try to get places at more than one school I've met parents whose DS's are doing Win Coll, SPS, Westminster and Eton. I personally think the pre tests themselves are not particularly stressful I often read/hear that boys say they enjoy the Eton computer generated test and I doubt anyone would find the lengthy interview at Win Coll overly stressful if a child does it's the wrong school. I think parents feel stressed (more than their DC's) waiting for the results, and rejection from all three could certainly have a detrimental effect on confidence. But it's how we as parents present it to our DC's that will effect them. We all fail in life and children need to learn this, it's how we move on that matters. The worst thing for both child and parents is to get a "waiting list" place as this leaves you in limbo, not able to move on, hoping you'll eventually get the place but having to look at alternatives.

[difficultpickle]

I know boys who've done all three and have offers from all. That's when the stress starts - trying to decide which offer to take. Harrow were very clear about no bursaries for non-scholars. It rather put me off them as the person I met at a schools fair seemed to be quite a snob. I've no doubt ds would be scholarship material but his attitude didn't endear me at all.

[difficultpickle]

I'd add the in my contact with these three schools Eton has been the most approachable, informative and helpful.

[summerends]

HG I agree that the pretests to all of these should not be stressful academically, especially as none of them require any preparation. I do feel it is worse for a DC who passes the pretest, has all the characteristics to flourish at one of these schools and allows himself to get excited about going there but has that withdrawn because that year there is an insufficient bursary budget to cover all such children
OP, it is clear now that you do actually need full boarding unless it is local to your family and that you only want to try for these three because otherwise you have an other good option. That should also make any decisions regarding staying on a waiting list easier.
As an aside, a child who is bright but is n't particularly enthused by academic learning would probably enjoy Winchester less than the other two.
Having said all the above, if you think your DS won't care too much, I would try the pretests and bursary application for all three as it increases your DS's chances and would make it clearer which school best suited him. Who knows Harrow may have a special bursary for your circumstances so worth asking before dismissing that route? As has beef said before, you should know before the Harrow pretests whether Eton or Winchester have come up trumps. From what I have seen, the Harrow scholarship exam is achievable for a bright motivated boy.

[happygardening]

We were reliably informed by someone very much in the know that the Harrow Scholarship exam was very similar in style and content to the Win Coll entrance exam. Friends DS who got a scholarship into Harrow achieved a mixture of mainly A's but also B's. I agree with summerends it's probably achievable for a bright motivated child.
I also agree that a boy who isn't "particularly enthused about academic learning" would probably enjoy Winchester less; the boys were in fact reminded recently by the head that it's not about sport but academia.

[happygardening]

Oh and I also agree with summerends point about the bursary thing at least at Win Coll you can get an idea of what they will offer you before even being interviewed, I don't know if Eton do the same worth asking.

[difficultpickle]

Eton only discuss bursaries once they've made a conditional offer.

[peteneras]

”grovel as non team sports player the lack of compulsory team sports at Win Coll is a big selling point for my DS oh and uniform!”



“Amusingly I like the Eton and Harrow uniforms, I like ridiculous uniforms.”



For the life of me, I don’t know what kind of a “school” it is where sports is seen as an utterly insignificant pastime, not to be bothered with, whilst academia is to be the be-all-and-the-end-all.

And this coming from an ”all-boys, full-time boarding school” too! Seriously, I question what do all these virile young men do in their entire teenage years whilst at this school? More worryingly, what kind of boys does the school produce at the end of its remit given its defunct and/or non-existent sporting prowess?

A bunch of sissies?

About the so-called ridiculous uniforms of some schools, sometimes I wonder who is actually wearing the uniform? Is it the boy/pupil or the mother? For sure, it would indeed be insanely ridiculous if it was the latter.

[Somethingyesterday]

OP What does your Ds have to say about where he might go? Not that he'll be making the decision obviously - but does he have any opinion one way or the other?

[schoolnurse]

Interesting thread. peteneras in my very extensive experience there are many children of all academic abilities out there at full boarding schools who wish very much that sport in particular rugby team sports was an insignificant pastime. They would love the opportunity to do something else instead especially in the winter when it's freezing cold and raining. I personally don't find these children are in your words "sissies" they just have different interests and there's nothing wrong with that in fact I think individuality is a good thing and should be encouraged.

[DeTamble]

On the uniform front, as it's some thing which is worn every day, I would always choose the more unique uniform. Better to stand out than to look like every other school. Better to choose it by the school song! (Joking!) Not that any one should choose a school based on a uniform. Win Coll is DH's first preference, and sadly for me, he didn't like Christ's Hospital, he got into an argument with someone there, which I won't go into. DS likes them all, as do I, they all have pros and cons.

[DeTamble]

I think DS will lean to Eton, he has a thing about the 4th of June celebrations. He really likes the rowing thing with the flowery boaters, he said it's better when they fall in. He doesn't like the idea of single rooms from the start though, that may change as he gets older though. Just trying to instill in him the understanding that it'll be the school which picks him, not the other way around. I don't think it's likely he'll get and offer from all of them, with the bursary he'd be lucky to get one offer.

[happygardening]

If your DS likes them all apply for them all, two interviews in one year which is the maximum we're talking about is not exactly onerous. Maybe fate will intervene and you'll just get one and your problem will be resolved.

[DeTamble]

@Happy You're right, I really should think about Christ's more. After all, I wanted to go there as a kid. I'll go look again when we come back, without DH. Tough titties to him. I can go when he gets posted next, as I won't be going with him that time.

[happygardening]

Nothing stops you applying for Christ's which would appear to tick so many boxes as well as Win Coll/Eton/Harrow and I would add CC/SPS (there are still boarders there) they too are generous with there bursaries although you may be too late to register.

[difficultpickle]

OP how old is your ds? We are doing school visits this term and ds likes all of them so far. He's good in seeing the things he likes and ignoring the bits he doesn't whereas I'm the opposite.

[happygardening]

When we were looking for my DS I felt he was heavily influenced by the the boys we met, most of whom were charming and obviously sung the schools praises, let's be realistic here few schools would select a child known to hate it to show prospective parents round, the sheer size and facilities at the senior schools and the fact that it was different for example the food was so much more interesting than at prep. As adults we struggle to see the difference between them or work out which one is right or see through the spiel given by enthusiastic staff to the reality so how can we expect a 8/9/10 yr old too?

[grovel]

OP, I "did" five 4th Junes. Four were freezing! Happily my DS was in the Parade of Boats on the one sunny day.

[summerends]

Interesting about the single room debate. I would certainly balk at the the thought of sharing my room with several others and would put a premium on privacy. However I've been told by my DS and his friends that the 'banter' in the dormitories is a major plus of boarding and makes closer friendships as well being a lot of fun (most of the time). They would definitely advocate the communal experience for at least the first year.
Sharing a room with one other as at Harrow is an in between system.

[grovel]

A couple of thoughts on single rooms:

In my DS's house at Eton boys were in and out of each other's rooms right up until what would be "lights out and silence" in a dormitory. They then went back to their rooms and could sleep immediately, read for a while, listen to the radio etc before falling asleep. So they got the banter and then a bit more freedom about exactly when to turn their lights out.

My DH who was at Radley (decades ago) liked the single for our DS. His observation that the only bullying he had seen (but happily not suffered) had been in dormitories. No adults around and the senior boys went to bed later than the younger ones. I should add that he thinks that this generation of boys are much nicer to each other (and about each other) than his generation.

[summerends]

Grovel, single room sounds great from my perspective or for a boy who wants to shut the door of his room. However boys can only be visiting one room at a time and I imagine some of the boys might be wandering around looking for the sociable bedroom. Also, from what I 've been told, it's not the same as talking to your friends when you are all in bed. Some of the confidences get shared at that time or even after lights out.
Not sure if boys are nicer just that overstepping the teasing threshold is very much frowned upon, both by most of the boys and the teaching staff.

OP, without wanting to create even more confusion, what about Sevenoaks School if you would n't discount IB? Takes at 11 as well as 13, fantastic reputation, offers day and boarding bursaries (for those living abroad).

[happygardening]

Friendships are according to my DS made in dorms and as importantly if you share a dorm with someone your not naturally drawn too then apparently you discover they're actually ok.
At a recents mums lunch thing two friends, different houses at Eton were saying their DS's hadn't made good friends with anyone, one child in particular with problems outside of school felt very lonely and dad at times, could just be their personalities of course and would happen anywhere or maybe the single room thing wasn't helping. One also told me that you provide furniture; office chair etc and much to my shock and surprise bring it home at the end of every term. I'm sorry I couldn't be doing with that I moan about duvet covers/books coming home!