The Trinity-Whitgift thread of 2013 continued

[Somelikeithott]

Hi all as I posted on previous thread, I realised we had hit the 1000 mark, do felt obliged to open a new one. Hope everyone finds this thread easily

[burntoutdad]

Hi has anyone recieved a call from W? Think they are trying to get an idea of numbers of acceptances earlier.

[Ladymuck]

T & W know that boys will turn down scholarships because of other offers, so they will be trying to chase down scholars to a) get the boys they want, and b) work out what they have left in the pool to negotiate with. Wouldn't expect full-fee offers to be phoned yet.

[Somelikeithott]

Burntoutdad, yes they called us.

[Lfs2126]

hi love and hope, a friend of my D's at w was suspended because his hair was too short... imho there is a v traditional approach to discipline at the school, worry not x

[cheammum]

Burntoutdad...just curious ...did you give W an indication of whether you would be accepting their offer...or r u waiting until 1 March to make final decision...if so what was W response...this 11+ process is so hard!!!

[burntoutdad]

Hi Cheammum, from your username you must live very close to us. We told W we were considering but wouldnt confirm until we are back from holiday. We are in 10+ cohort but agree the process has been worse than we expected!

[Hecticmumof4]

Just to say, we had an email confirmation of acceptance from W today. It feels so good to have reached this point and know, there is NO MORE STUDYING and we can get on and enjoy life - it did feel like everything was on hold

Anyone else made decisions???

[nothingyummymum]

Notified W today that we're accepting a place and let other school know that we're turning down the offer. Weirdly, I feel quite deflated - after all that anxiety and the months of panic, I expected at the very least harp-playing angels to accompany the letter.. maybe they will come out for the ceremonial thrashing of the pile of unused verbal reasoning books I found last night?

[Shaded]

yummymum - Happy to read that am not the only one getting the weird feeling. Felt deflated after we got our acceptance letter and realised process was at an end. Guess I was too vested in the whole process - now am thinking what next and need to find myself a new challenge.

[Arewetheryet]

Hmmm, DS has offers from W and T which we are still considering... All things being equal how much is travel time a consideration when making decisions.???

[Arewetheryet]

Hi Shaded, reading some of your posts I think you are also considering CLSB is travel time an issue for you? We have an offer from there too however the travel time is a major issue now that its all a reality

[Shaded]

*Arewetheryet' I have responded on the CLSB post - sorry am a determined interloper on the T &W thread. My son will be going to City in September and I work quite near the school. I see no problems with the commute particularly at the City end. PM if you want to discuss further.

[nothingyummymum]

I meant trashing and not thrashing, of course.. congratulations on City, Shaded!

[Shaded]

Thanks Yummy. Of course we are allowed to 'thrash' those papers if we choose to. And congrats everyone for your T & W places - and thanks for allowing me to join your commune.

[Arewetheryet]

Unfortunately I don't have the pleasure of thrashing papers have DD in year 4 to prepare now... Hampster on a wheel comes to mind...

[burntoutdad]

Back from Hols, back to reality! Thread seems to have slowed down a bit. Does anyone still have decisions to make? We will be assessing our position over the next few days. DS thinks he can get away without doing any more work at current school!
Does anyone know if W still do lake Garda trip for year 6 bonding? Looks amazing - and free !

[EyesWideClosed]

Thread has practically ground to a halt! DS did really well with scholarship to W but now, strangely, feeling a bit deflated. He is 10+ and we are wondering whether we should opt out this year and try for a place at W again next year along with the grammars, or let him go for a year and sit the grammar tests in Sept. This will be right when he has just started, not great for bonding, I imagine. Also, I think W would not be very impressed. Thoughts anyone?

[Croydonmumtods]

eyeswideclosed this is a difficult call and only you can decide but personally I would not move a child for one year if there's a chance you will move them again next year. I don't believe the school would be impressed but more importantly what if your ds really likes the school and wants to stay? If that's not an option then probably best to wait and do 11+ and make decision based on all options (grammars/ T/W). I thought your previous posts indicated preference for T?. Anyway good luck with decision and very well done to your ds for w scholarship.

[Mellisa]

Is old palace whitgift really going down it worries me a bit since my daughter has been offered a place after 11plus in old palace, notredame senior school in cobham and Sutton high old palace is my favourite but i am confused which one to choose from I have two more girls 5 and 6 which primary state schools will bo ok for them I am not sure about moving to Croydon is it a nice place to live

[Mellisa]

Is ladymuck there can you advice me about the schools in Croydon or any one else

[burntoutdad]

eyeswideclosed you would not be the only parent considering this option as I have heard this discussion a number of times. The main reason given for doing this is financial i.e. put DS in 10+ at W as a back up in case he doesn't pass the grammar test, but if he does then go to Grammar as its less of a financial strain.
I think that the private schools are well aware of this tactic (and yes are not very impressed) at W they hold you to a payment of 1 term if you leave early (although still a huge saving over the 6 yrs if you moved). Some things to bear in mind in addition to those given by croydonmumtods are:

1. W (I believe anyway) gives more than just an academic schooling to your DS. I thought that there was a big difference to the feel and ethos of the school the attitude of the boys etc which In our case was more suited to our DS1. I think im saying that it seemed much more than just a 'good school' which is what I thought of Sutton Grammar. But unfortunately it comes at a price. So it depends on what you want for your DS, personally i would have loved the opportunity to go to a school like W or T.
   

1. The W & T exams are much easier and have lower pass marks than the Grammar schools (SG, Wilsons, Wallington etc.) who are seeing year on year increases in entrance exam passmarks and number of applicants (1800 boys this/last year). So DS passing the W exam does not necessarily mean that they will pass the Grammar exam (or more accurately may pass the exam but the top results are so high that a place isn't guaranteed). This is the risk that you would take turning down your offer now, but if Ds did really well academically maybe you are confident that he would pass. In our case, even though DS is bright and in top set for Maths and English (and did well at W exam with scholarship) he is not the 'top of the top set' and it is usually these boys who generally seem to end up at the grammars. Even if he did get in he would be competing academically against these all through school. At W although all bright in some way there is more of a mix.
   

1. Although your DS is understandably your main priority there are parents on the waitlist for instance that would desperately love for their DS's to get offered a place and would miss the chance because of the parents that take 10+ places knowing that they are going to move DS next year. In this case it is more 'ethical'? (not sure if right word) if you turn down your place if you intend to do 11+ rather than take someone else's place as a 'safety net'. If you would have asked me before this process I would say that it would be a good idea to take the place, but now knowing the stress and pain parents and DS's go through to get this far (just by reading the posts here!), i don't think i would take the decision lightly to take a place i didn't intend to keep.
   

1. Bonding with peers is i think difficult for boys unless there is a common interest (sport for instance). You would be moving DS between 3 schools, which is 2 new starts, 3 sets of peers, 3 different schooling methods. Maybe not the best start, but depends how confident and social he is. For us it would be the worst thing we could do as DS is very shy and hold back until he gets to know someone (which sometimes takes a while), but for you may not be a problem.
   

1. There have been several posts with parents saying that they are feeling deflated. I can understand the big relief now its all over, but am I the only one feeling exited at the prospect of my DS attending a fabulous school? We have worked hard for this and wanted nothing else (other than the belief that ALL schools should the same, so parents don't have to stress over where DC's go!) so its like winning a major trophy!. I cant wait for him to start, i want to learn through him learning, some of the subjects look very interesting, he is excited and counting down the days to his first day. Are we being naïve?
   

If I felt deflated, I think I would perhaps question if it is what I really wanted, it is a big commitment.

Just my thoughts, sorry to ramble. Hope of some use. Reading back its as though im trying to convince myself but really the only downside i can see is financial.

[burntoutdad]

Which is a BIG downside

[GetMeOut]

Very well said, burnout dad. I have a j-bug at T ( year 6 ) so he started at 10+ in Sept ( I posted about my wait list experience). It would absolutely break his heart to be pulled out now to go to a new school at 11+. Not only has he invested a lot of emotional effort into settling in, so has the school, but I heartily agree that it is so much more than an education. His whole out look on life is changing and how it is going to be developed is going to become even more important as they move into
their teenage years.
I agree financially it is a big committment but you only get one chance at these formative years.
Good luck with your decision and yes, you have masses to look forward to burnoutdad !

[Somelikeithott]

Hi all,

We are still yet to make a firm decision, but DS has his preference. I'm testing the waters to make sure his preference is for the right reasons and not 'peer' pressure.

As for feeling deflated, I did wonder when I read the posts on here if that's what I was feeling. I have to say, I was very excited to have received the good news on the Friday but by Monday it was a feeling of anti-climax, but now as I have visited the schools again in a bid to help our decision making, I am looking forward to DS going into big school and being exposed to lots of different opportunities. DS is really excited as well. So I would say 5% anticlimax and 95% enthusiastic. I think once we have sent the letters back to choose, it will get even better ( I hope). I think also it is all the spare time we have on our hands now, even DS asked me this morning on the school run, if he can get more work to do now. ( shock, I need the rest, even if he doesn't).

So we just need to make a decision now and get on with it. I believe Lake Garde is still on. They definitely had it last year.

[Seeline]

I can only agree with everything GetmeOut has said, also having a J-Bug at T. He too has settled well - although it did take time and effort on all sides. The thought of continuing the extra work to have to sit 11+ exams after we had accepted the Y6 place would have finished us all I think. Let alone having to sit a whole raft of exams just as he was starting to find his feet at a new school. I really do not think DS would want to start all over again somewhere next year - it would be very unfair on him.