Private education - would you?

[BegoniaBampot]

If you could easily afford private education, would you choose it for your kids? Have a son starting secondary school in September, husband is keen on private, I'm not so sure but worried I'm making the wrong choice I might regret. The local high school we have applied for is fine with a relatively good rep, not considered crap and son is quite happy with it. Hate that we are running out of time.

Here we go again. You can't just look at private versus state, you have to look at the various schools and compare what they can offer your child. And work out how paying the fees will impact upon the rest of your finances. It's a sterile debate - like should I go to France or Germany on holiday

I there is an EXCELLENT state school that the child can get into for secondary, then I wouldn't. If not, then I wouldn't hesitate to pay. You only get one chance at education.

I was at day private, my sister was a public boarding, DH was at state comp. The kids are at state comp. Financially neither the selective private or the non selective private are an option.
BUT
if I had the money, I'd move them to the selective private like a shot, with DH's support.
I think both of us are still pleased with having done state primary as it gave the kids a breadth of world view that kids in prep schools (like I was) never get till they hit the real world at 21 (or enter politics to avoid).

You can't make a generalisation about whether private schools are better than state, or vice versa. You need to look at the options available to you, and choose a school from them (or hope they choose you!)

If you can afford private, it just gives more options.

I have one DC at a state school, and two currently at private. I am confident that I have chosen the best schools for them from the options available.

Yip, damn choices, sometimes having choices can be a real pain in the arse (half joking)!

No, I would resist private education for as long as I possibly could. The only reasons why I might capitulate would be a) if we were absolutely loaded, not just wealthy enough to be able to afford it and b) if there was a particular local school that my dd or ds had set their hearts on and could give me really good reasons for wanting to go there. But even then I would only be letting them go out of a sense of fear that they might resent me in later life.

Yes private every time.

Have just sent ds private and would send dd but can't take on the fight of a comp educated dh. There's some famous economist on tv that dh went to school with and he constantly says "he didn't need private" as though that's a real argument.

We are busy parents that work hard and we are not on our kids cases about homework etc and need the school to do that. That's why we pay for private for ds. One of the reasons.

I will say that I really resent the fact that I work hard, earn a ton and can afford to send dd to private but have to have a massive fight to do this and be made to feel like I am letting her down in some way by not letting her go to state and achieve without "help".

help. dh and i went to the same low achieving comp. the head's office got petrol bombed, the school buses used to get driven to the police station etc. it was ugly with crap facilities but a few kids still went on to uni (not me, i bombed out)i sixth year). i would definitely go private if that was the option. hoping the comp we have chosen is a vast improvement. i hear good things about it and it's exam pass rate is much better.

oneliein - curious, why is your son at private but your daughter state?

Ds needs more "help" and dd is "naturally bright"

Ds has just got a report card that is fab and such a move forwards. It is worth every penny. Parents evenings where they don't just know who he is, they know how he is and talk about how he can improve and they take action immediately.

Dd naturally bright but I phoned and asked to speak to the teacher twice about a problem and never got a call back. She gets by because she is bright but she isn't pushed and they definitely don't make the most of her abilities.

It will involve a huge disagreement between dh and I. His priorities are 1. House and 2. Education. Mine are the opposite. I want really well educated kids who get great jobs so they can earn loads and look after me in my dotage

wht does your daughter want? must be hard having one in each and hoping you're doing the right thing by them. sounds like your son is thriving, how did your husband agree to send him private?

Well when I take dd to look at some great private schools so she has a choice, hopefully she will love it

It's not hard, it's just annoying. Dd was bullied recently and the school did NOTHING other than one teacher who spoke to her kindly when she was crying.

She will go private. State over my dead body or maybe my out of work or divorced body

And dh agreed because I wouldn't let it go. Then he went to look around, saw the climbing wall, the pool, the rugby pitches, the sports hall, the well behaved boys and that kind of did it too.

OneLieIn, not dealing with bullying is not resticted to state, believe me. Plenty of private schools out there refuse to deal with the issue.

Both DH and I went to large state comprehensives. Have sent both of our private for secondary. Need I say more!
We are delighted with the inde's our kids are at, they are sooooooo lucky and I wish I had had the chance of the kind of rounded education they are getting. It is costing us hugely and we can't do all the other things we might have wanted to, but for us it's worth it.

I totally get the 'would go private rather than have petrol bombed low achieving comp' thing.

But 'private every time' I don't get. There are some dire private schools, and some great comps, and vice versa.

The size of the school should not be an issue.
Eton has 1300 pupils after all - larger than many comps.
Round here the schools are huge and the sixth form college even larger but aspirations are high
(but declining as Gove's stupid Baccalaureate means schools will not get credit for teaching extra subjects so they will stop stretching bright kids and as the schools are Academies the LEA cannot lean on them)

Talkin - I dont think the comp I went to had quite the same teacher/pupil ratio at Eton, surely thats the issue rather than the size of the school per se. We didn't have quite the same budget per pupil either!

If you include the SEN support staff, the pupil : teacher ratio at a comp is not far off that in many private schools! and indeed, the resource budget makes a huge difference. But the biggest difference is the fact that NONE of the children at a school like Eton will have parents who do not care whether they get an education ....

That is true Talkin. Both DH and I got away with soooooo much in a large comp. Not taking the risk with my two DCs. Not with our genes!

I work so we can afford to send our two girls to a private school. If I did not work we could not afford the fees.

In primary school I think there are more options for a reasonable state education but our local secondary schools are DIRE and eldest did not pass her 11+ so GS Not an option (hopefully will be for the younger one though) Thankfully she has received a scholarship offer to a great senior school which helps with the money side!
Hubby and I both consider the money well spent as the children are in small classes, have an enormous amount of clubs based at school to choose from and are doing really well academically.

I haven't read the whole thread.

I would send my child to the private school I went to. Or to various other selective private schools. But no boarding. And no single-sex schools. My DC would also have to be relatively academic and self confident to cope in that environment so it would depend on my DC (at the moment DC1 is 21mo and DC2 is due in August.)

OP you've left it too late to do the 11+ to be honest.
And if you were to think of entrance to public school at 13, what will you do with your son in the meantime? You might get a place at prep if you're lucky, I suppose.

Anyhoo, for what it's worth, DH and I went to...ahem...challenging comprehensives and did well (got to Oxbridge, earned a buck etc). We decided to go private for our DC. Had misgivings prior. Big ones actually...but not any more. They're teenagers and doing wonderfully well.