Thinking through decisions

roundcork · 2023-03-01 10:53:48

Hello. Hoping for some guidance and support and somewhere to bounce ideas around. Kids are 10 and 8. Will be starting a new school in September that is 35 mins drive away (we're used to a 30 min drive). Can't go to schools closer as we're farmers so can't sell up and this particular school supports my children's extra needs really well. I currently work two days a week in another family business (my own). I'm considering giving this up to be much more a SAHP for 2-3 years. Reasons are: 1) I will be doing a lot of driving! Dh can do some school runs but isn't reliable. There is a bus the kids can get when they're older but I want to see them 12+ before the bus really. 2) The farm we live on is a 24/7/365 operation so there's a level of family stress that's unavoidable. Disasters happen, things go wrong and it's always on a morning when I'm supposed to be at work or at 4am on a Sunday. 3) I struggle to have the headspace to deal with two family businesses plus kids. One child really struggled with lockdown (partly because we had to work so hard) and hasn't really got their confidence back. Money wise we can afford it. Dh happy to give me money of my own that I can do what I want with. I already have a fair whack of equity in my business which I will leave in situ. I see that as my pension. Also. - in the farming world we support the older generation as it is. If we weren't they would have sold up so would be living of the capital. I'd our kids don't want to farm and we don't want to get a manager in we could do the same so I'm not too worried about pensions in a conventional sense. I think what I'm worried about is that I've never not worked. No gap year or Mat leave (just went from full time to part time after 6 weeks or so). Everything in my gut is screaming out that this is a season of life where I need to focus on the children. It just feels really weird. after the kids are settled I don't think there would be the option to re join my family business. However there is a role I could do on dh's farm that can grow. (I do a bit now). Or I could completely rethink and retrain in something. please be kind - what am I missing? Am I mad? I feel I've put my family business before my kids in the past and this is me swapping it over really.

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