Anyone NOT have to nag their partners? If so, what's your f**king secret?

[MrsMacaroon]

Really. Please, for the love of god, tell me....

[fryalot]

I don't nag him.

Because I know it won't do any good. He still won't do what I want him to, but he will sulk for daaaaaaaaaays.

Plus, I try very hard not to care

[Anna8888]

I don't nag.

But I do explain, in multiple guises...

What sort of thing are you thinking of?

[MrsBadger]

I don't nag

squonk is right

[Legoleia]

Ah, once I heard a story about a lady who nagged her DH all the time because she felt he needed to improve, and he never did, and was miserable and their marriage limped along uncomfortably until she died. He always kept a letter she had written him, outlining his faults and telling him to pull his socks up.

Then he got married to another lady, and she was lovely to him and always told him when he was wonderful, and never when he was annoying, and then years later, he found the letter from his first wife, and found that all his bad points had gone, simply because he felt so loved, that he wanted to be better.



This story haunts me.

I love my DH

[laidbackinengland]

Equality is the key. DH and I work the same part time hours, do the same amount of childcare and the same amount of housework. It's equal - so no need to nag.

[DeeRiguer]

cause i hate the sound of my own voice some days cant talk nag of an evening

it isnt worth it and i truly i try not to care either
not sweat the small stuff as they say

[TheFallenMadonna]

I don't think I nag.

Nor "explain in mutiple guises"

Counter productive, as squonk says.

Leave it.

[welshmum]

Sometimes this site is useful sometimes incredibly annoying....here she's writing about nagging.
www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2008/06/fourteen-tips-t.html

[eandz]

the problem with us is that whenever i have a problem because of dh i forget about it because he's always smiling and lovely so i can't help but smile and be lovely back...so NONE of our problems get resolved and now we've got a giant mountain awaiting us and we're having our first child. i don't think it's healthy not to resolve our issues but seriously i forget them when he's around.

[castille]

I don't nag because I never need to.

He does need to nag me though

[MrsMacaroon]

maybe should add profile-

me- SAHM/domestic slave, occasional freelancer
him- works full time

me- slightly control freaky but getting better
him- laid back procrastinator of epic proportions

me- speaks mind and bit shouty
him- moody bugger

If i don't ask/nag, twill never be done...seriously- Food would rot and bills wouldn't be paid.

[MummyQuin]

I dont nag because I dont like to be nagged.
Acceptance is the key.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Be even more useless at housework than he is. I'm the one who gets nagged in this house.

[Julezboo]

We just kinda fell into our roles/share of housework. Although admittedly I do more than him but I am a SAHM and he works very hard full time. He has certains jobs which i refuse to do, dishes, bins, hoovering He also remakes the beds when i strip them down and cleans the bath. So he does a fair bit.

However I go back to work next week so things will change!

[EffiePerine]

it doesn't owrk (but hard not to sometimes). I just try and think of another way round the problem. Sometimes I'm not sure there is one

[MrsMacaroon]

yeah- it's my fault he leaves his dirty underwear on the floor. mmmmm makes sense.

[Minum]

Bite my tongue, and think of all the stuff he does do, so I dont sweat too much about the rest of it. He rarely nags me, and I love that, so I try to be the same. It generally a pretty happy house.

[JessJess3908]

I don't nag - I 'manage'

I think it's because men seem to walk around with their eyes closed and are happily oblivious to the mountain of jobs we see when we look around.

Really wish i didn't have to tho!

[MrsMacaroon]

yeah, I suppose I 'manage' too LOL

Certain incidents make me lose it though and probably nag... the beard hair left for me to clean, the dirty pants, never ever putting the bog roll on the holder, not flushing the toilet, leaving EVERYTHING until the last minute.

Am having bad day.

[MrsMacaroon]

great link by the way welshmum!

[JessJess3908]

Is setting tasks i.e. lists of jobs the same as nagging?

[jette]

Occasionally (and this is embarrassing, I feel like Mary Poppins) I say 'Lets have a nice big clean up on the weekend!' and for some reason this works. God, what have I become?
Also pretending there are jobs that I just can't do because I hate them so much - I couldn't really care less but at least he thinks its his responsibility..

[tryingtoleave]

I have a secret! But I think it only works because of dh's odd personality and family. Instead of nagging him to vacuum, for example, I say 'I suppose I should vacuum now but I am soooo tired'. And then he offers! Or if I want him to look after ds so I can have a nice, quiet coffee with girlfriends I offer to take ds with me and dh a break. Then I worry aloud a bit that ds might spoil it for everyone else. Dh usually then steps in and says he will look after ds. It's a bit manipulative, and not really my style at all but it's the way dh's family operates (I think) and it's better than angst and nagging.

[2rebecca]

I don't nag as I hate being that naggy person. My husband is good at helping though. If I asked him to vaccuum he'd do it, or say it was inconvenient to do it then and would do it later, which is OK because he would. If there's something he won't do then I'll do it myself. I think early on in our relationship we decided how much we expected from each other re housework etc. If he refused to do any housework I wouldn't nag but would sit down with him and discuss how the relationship could only continue if he pulled his weight and was he wanting to live on his own?
I'm not especially houseproud which probably helps, dirty pants in bedroom as likely to be mine as his.