And I'm quite rightly consumed by guilt and shame.
I have a very close friend who I love very much. She told me she liked a mutual friend of ours last Summer, and it seemed from his flirtatious behaviour towards her that it was reciprocated, but they'd never discussed it or acted on it. At a work Christmas party he kissed me. I was very shocked, and in my surprised and drunken state I blurted out that she liked him, stated that I thought he liked her back, and that I was very uncomfortable with doing anything further.
I told her about the kiss, but when she asked me if I'd told him anything that she'd said about her feelings towards him I panicked and said I hadn't. I was ashamed of breaking her confidence, scared of losing her, and scared of confrontation.
She brought it up again a month later and I lied again, saying that I hadn't told him anything.
4 months on and I'm wracked with guilt and shame because nobody deserves to be deceived and the way I've behaved goes against all my values and I know I need to tell her what I've done. I don't expect to be forgiven. I have no expectations for the outcome of coming clean at all. I know I've been a terrible friend and if she decides to cut me off I'll have to live with that.
My question is about timings. She lost a cousin she was close to recently and the funeral is next week, and obviously I don't want to add to her distress. How long should I wait to bring this up?
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I lied to my friend
MilkChocBrazils · 27/03/2024 17:14
Horationor · 27/03/2024 17:22
I think you've left it too late to tell her now.
If you didn't tell her at the time I would leave well alone.
TokyoSushi · 27/03/2024 17:31
It's too late now, is she still in contact with him? Is there any way she would find out? If not, don't bring it up again!
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