How can I stop being jealous of other women?

[KeepingItKalm]

I feel bad admitting this, but I am often jealous of other women. I absolutely do not act upon these feelings, and I would never do something bad to a woman that I am jealous of.

Anyway, I feel that these thoughts impact me negatively. I worry that i may unconsciously treat women I'm jealous of badly.

To give some examples, I am jealous of women who are: smarter than me, better-looking than me, more sociable than me, richer than me, and so on.

I feel awful admitting this, but if something mildly bad happens to a woman I am jealous of, I feel gleeful. I absolutely don't want to feel this way, but I do.

How can I combat these feelings?

[seensome]

I'm glad you're coming round to seeing other women as a sister/friend than a threat, see them as an inspiration too.

You are not ugly, for most of population we have to make the best of ourselves, have a good skincare routine, wear a bit of make up, blow dry and style our hair, smart clothes, make a huge difference to self confidence and the way others perceive us. Get yourself into a routine of doing this everyday, treat yourself to some nice clothes and products, you are totally worthy of making yourself feel great.
If don't like your hair colour then get some ideas from the hairdressers when they open. What was your mother like growing up? We often look up to them and the way they presented themselves.

[Silverthorny]

@KeepingItKalm I think it’s great that you’ve identified and owned these feeling - and I’m jealous of your ability to do that.

[Eckhart]

For example, I am ugly. I have spotty skin, plain features, and mousy hair. I will never be good-looking, which is probably why I am jealous of women that are. How can I make peace with wanting something i'll never have

Realise that different people see things in different ways. So what you see as ugly, someone else might not. Also, bitterness is the best way to be as ugly as possible. Maybe if you don't have a thing, it's not a thing you need? Lots of ugly people are happy, so you don't need to be pretty to be happy.

[Scalphelp]

Your looks should never stop you from dating, settling down or making friends. There’s many people who love what you look like and will love you for you. You can still have a fulfilling and rich life without looking like Kylie Jenner etc.

Your hair colour really isn’t an issue. Some people would love your hair colour, I would! You have the perfect base colour for going blonde - your colour is in demand! Not that you need to go blonde. I swear mushroom brown has been a thing for a while?

For your skin, why don’t you make it your mission to soothe it? See your GP, take a prescription if necessary, try to figure out if anything is irritating your skin etc. Skin care routines don’t have to be arduous or expensive. Invest the energy you spend on others in yourself. When you want to browse social media, browse Reddit skincare addiction instead.

Having plain features isn’t a bad thing either. Again, there’s people with “interesting” features who would prefer to look plain, you just have to work with what you have and find a style that flatters you. No point being bitter and jealous over something you can’t change.

[Scalphelp]

I am one of those people who look “interesting” - some people think I’m stunning, others probably think I look weird. I always get approached by strangers and frankly would rather they would leave me alone! Give me plain any day

[Dappledsunlight]

Op, I actually think your feelings are more common than people like to admit. In fact, see them as signs of perhaps what you wish to achieve. It can be painful to experience these endless comparisons with others and I agree with what others have said here, that we don't really know the pain in others' apparently successful lives. The only truly successful life is the one that fits you perfectly - so go find that and make your own happiness. I think you're honest and authentic admitting what you feel. I share such thoughts but notice these have lessened as I've developed my own interests and learning.