Would you trust a man who doesn't turns off the blue WhatsApp ticks

[mel263]

I've just started chatting to a man on OLD and we took it to WhatsApp.
I noticed from from the beginning, his 'read receipts" is turned off , so you can't see a blue ticks if he's read it. He also hasn't got 'Last Seen' either.
It's completely up to him, but do you think this is this a Red Flag for the future?

Hope this makes sense!

[soanco68]

You title reads wrong

If he has ticks and last seen switched off why? Whose he hiding from?

[Ifonlywecouldwishuponastar]

Perhaps he doesn't want work knowing when he's read messages. My dh does this as colleagues were trying to call and message him on WhatsApp at the weekend. It pissed me off actually. But that's probably another thread.

[Bodgedboxdye]

Not a red flag.

People can have privacy, it’s their prerogative.

[Flittingabout]

For me it is all about patterns of behaviour, so if he turns out to never get back to you but is always on his phone when you meet up eventually etc then it might turn out that this was a red flag after all!

[SunnyRoses]

@ultimatewednesday go to settings - account - privacy then toggle read receipts to off

[Wherearemymarbles]

I really dont get the angst over WA. I use it extensively for work and have it downloaded on my pc so will be seen as active almost all the time. I usually have it turned off so i don't get endlessly pestered for replies by people who know i have read their messages.

[UltimateWednesday]

Ooh, I didn't know you could do this......um how?

I often don't open a message because I dont want to feel under pressure to reply, which is bonkers. I do agree that people who "need" fast replies are proper red flags though.

Re the man in question, would he have this set for all messages or just for OP's messages?

[aufaitaccompli]

Mine are switched off. It pisses off my exH no end. Have also had blokes asking me why I don't have them on.

It's purely to help me manage my time, when I respond and what I say.

I know i would be stalking if i didn't have it switched off

[Somethingkindaoooo]

It's not a red flag.

You, however......

[Cheesypea]

Sometimes if your online dating your talking to more than one person at a time and dont eant the other party to know.

[Maria53]

I do this. Same reasons as others here. Nothing sneaky about it.

[AgathaCrispy]

You scan still see if messages are read by highlighting the message and going to info so it’s pretty pointless if he’s trying to cover whether or not he’s read your messages.

[SunbathingDragon]

Most people I know have theirs turned off. I’m in the minority by not.

[isthismylifenow]

No I don't think so. Both mine are turned odd and it's because of work that they are. Some people think that as you have read the message you have to respond straight away. I am not in that camp and will respond when I can. And this goes for someone I have messaged too. So as mine are turned off I can't see if they have read my message either. It really is a lot less stressful.

[sammylady37]

@Crystalspider

Not a red flag but monitor how consistent he messages, does he get back to you and not let you wait too long?
If you can see that he is 'online' alot but not messaging you then that would be a red flag meaning your not a priority

Wait, why should she be a priority in his life? They’ve only just started chatting, as per OP. So, she’s not a priority, nor should she be, and if she expected to be one at this stage that would be quite the red flag.

If he’s online a lot and not messaging her, it could mean he’s dealing with work stuff, with clients, colleagues or both. He could be dealing with family or friends. Or, he might not be on WhatsApp at all, but the app could still be showing him as online cos he hasn’t closed it down.

But monitoring his activity early on and being miffed at not being priority is quite controlling, jealous and possessive.

[RaspberryToupee]

Nope, I’ve turned mine off.

A lot of people send me things that I don’t want to respond to straight away (because my response might well be an eye roll). It’s very freeing not being held accountable by the little blue ticks.

[Enchantmentz]

I wouldn't see it as a red flag, I have been monitored in the past such as comments about going to bed because my WhatsApp showed I was last seen at 3am or some such thing a few times. Irks me for a reason I can't pinpoint exactly. Or I can be on whatapp busy chatting to someone else and they think I am ignoring them. Pretty tedious so better to cull the expectations from the beginning.

If they flit between setting the ticks on and off I see it as small mind games to get you to notice.

[wildcherries]

I've just turned mine off. Much less pressure.

[Sunshineandflipflops]

Nope - mine are off too, I hate the pressure and when I was on line dating, it was a headf*uck knowing that someone had seen your message and not responded so I got rid and felt so much better for it!

[mel263]

Haha you learn something new everyday!
I'm thinking of turning mine off as it does cause a bit of pressure if someone messages you!

[QuentinWinters]

I have mine turned off because I get huge WA anxiety. It's not necessarily anything to do with you

[AnaViaSalamanca]

Why are you policing him? You sound like a red flag!

[BlokeHereInPeace]

Fucking hell. Jesus.

[saraclara]

Wow. How did I not know that you can do this?

I'm going to turn them off now. I totally feel the pressure to respond when I know the person who messaged me knows I've seen it. I've been known not to open messages for an hour, just to avoid this.

Thanks, OP!

[foamrolling]

Yes exactly what others had said, a red flag for me would be someone being unhappy with those things turned off.