My rights to half the house

[Novemberrain77]

My husband and I have been married for 7 years with 5 children . Youngest is 2. He bought our house in 2014 3 months before we married. He didn't put my name on house. I did seek free legal advice and was told it still half mine but I can't remember if she asked when we got married. We are splitting up and worried . Any advice please. I don't pay mortgage etc as agreed I would be a stay at home mum.

[BuffaloCauliflower]

You need legal advice OP, that’s the only way. You may be able to stay in the house, all money is a joint marital asset even if it’s in his saving account. Find a good divorce lawyer.

[Viviennemary]

I will. Sorry I thought OP had been with partner seven years. So the teenagers were from a previous relationship.

[Gutterton]

You sound very stressed and confused.

He is gaslighting and bullying you with financial threats and inaccuracies.

You need clarity and certainty.

This means that you need to disconnect from his financial abuse psycho drama.

Do as PP has said. Invest in a v good solicitor. Let them direct the negotiations and fight him directly. He is not above the law.

Keep your cards close to you chest. Focus on keeping a calm and peaceful home for your DCs by being attuned to their needs through these difficult times as their secure emotional health is precious and priceless for life. Trust that he is not above the law, has nowhere to hide and the legal process will be fair and transparent. Don’t waste your finite emotional energy fighting with him - pay a lawyer to do that and conserve your MH for your DCs.

[Novemberrain77]

Yes I think I will have to get a solicitor soon. He hasn't moved out yet he is waiting to buy a flat so I can't even claim universal tax credits

[Novemberrain77]

I have been with him 9 years married 7.

[Novemberrain77]

My 2 oldest who are 13 and 15 are mine I'm sure they are not expected to be kicked out in the street . I have always sorted them out. Yes he put roof over their heads and we don't we know it. All he goes on about

[Dramalady52]

If you're in Essex, I can recommend Cunningtons solicitors. They do a fixed rate for divorces and are very good.

[notapizzaeater]

You should be able to claim UC even if he's still there.

[0hforfoxsake]

Put the application in for benefits at least. It can be amended afterwards.

[0hforfoxsake]

If he’s using joint assets to buy the flat, the proportion of your home share can reflect that. It could be something like a 70:30 split in your favour, upon selling when your youngest reaches 18/21.

The courts will take into account the impact of being the main carer has had on your ability to earn.

Courts centre what is best for the children. That should be everyone’s priority now.

[Groundhogdayzz]

Definitely get your free half hour, then pay for a follow up appointment as the solicitor will provide you more in writing once you pay, but you get more out of it this way as you can give background info in the free appointment. I am in a similar situation to you, and it’s so tough, I didn’t go down the solicitor route initially as wanted to do things amicably, didn’t care about money just wanted us to be happy, but inevitably the ex is looking out for himself and using the kids as pawns over finances. Get legal advice ASAP and going forward I would leave any communication regarding finances to the solicitors.

[SeasonFinale]

legal advice asap Please!!!

[millymollymoomoo]

You had a long runni g thread where people kept saying speak to a solicitor, don’t try to negotiate with him etc. You really do need to take that advice

Your solicitor will afk for

Earnings
Assets and liabilities inc pensions, houses, mortgages
Duration of marriage and cohabitation

Who paid what won’t come into it I’m reality

The primary concern will be to house the children. Divorce is based on needs - you need more but that so t mean he is left with nothing

See a solicitor

[DrDetriment]

You are entitled to money to live and look after the children that you share but I don't think it's fair that you take a house that he bought before he met you. These are his assets that you didn't contribute to. However, you did contribute to the family so are entitled to the appropriate support. Get legal advice but be fair and don't be greedy for things that aren't yours.

[DrDetriment]

Sorry- not before you met, before you married.

[NoHardSell]

You can put in a single claim for uc if you are separated, even if still in the same house

[Gutterton]

Your DH is pissing away joint financial assets buying this flat right now before you have a financial settlement.

[nicky7654]

You can definitely claim UC even if your still living together. (My friend did)

[Novemberrain77]

Yes groundhog I wanted to be amicable but I dont feel he will.
Yes I'm aware he using savings which are half mine if we married for a flat

[Novemberrain77]

He didn't buy the house before we met.he bought the house 3 months before we married we chose the house together I didn't even want to move to this town where I live I had to pull my children out of their school they were happy in and start again

[Novemberrain77]

And I did contribute I have paid for furniture food clothes holidays with my money and all my nan's inheritance money and isn't having his three children and raising them very well not a contribution and running about cleaning up after him because he had absolutely nothing around the house and cooking for him does that not count as contribution

[Novemberrain77]

So basically it's his castle and me and my children I just lodges is that what you're trying to say

[Novemberrain77]

How dare you day I am greedy. I have 5 kids to think of. What are you on. He would be happy to see us all with nothing if he could get his money. Years of him smashing house up and calling me a cunt shouting at my 2 eldest. Yeah let him have it all

[Novemberrain77]

Thank you everyone I have read all comments. But to the person saying I'm greedy etc she can do one

[Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal]

Sell the house and split all the savings equally. Then you buy somewhere and he buys somewhere otherwise he’s hoping to keep the house in his name and buy and new home for himself. Don’t do that. Sell up and split everything.