Phone checking

[beanpot1]

I know I'll be shot down for doing it but I honestly think most have snooped their partners at sometime or another...

So my dp has a Xs iphone. His text messages I think still appear on locked screen but I'll watch out tomorrow to double check that's still the case.
While we have been on lock down I've gotten this little habit of when he's in the shower etc , if you hit the screen on locked then swipe up from the bottom you can see if he had a email , been tagged on fb , all general notifications. But now I cant see anything it asks for pin or Face ID so he must have changed his setting a right?? I'm not familiar with the Xs but can only think it's that.. so now I'm stressing as to why he's changed it. I know the pin password but I've never opened his phone for a proper snoop and I'm pretty sure that's the same as I saw him type it in last night. So surely if he had something to hide his phone would be in complete lockdown. Am I being a twat or is this something I need to worry about.. what do you think

[noyoucannotcomein]

"Old man"

Sorry for your troubles Danny Dyer.

[ErickBroch]

LOL what a hilarious update. Drip feed extravaganza as always.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Hope the next bloke you pick is better but don’t ruin it by snooping. Maybe do some work on yourself before getting back out there.

[mindutopia]

*isn’t - definitely isn’t

[mindutopia]

No, I’ve never checked dh’s messages. You’re right, “no need to,” there isn’t. Not all men are dickheads. I do vaguely glance at his notifications if they come through while I’m standing there because our family business has a big presence on social media and I like seeing what people are saying on Instagram and who is buying what. It’s never occurred to me to open up his phone and look for anything untoward. Because he is an asshole and I know there’s nothing to see.

That said, in previous relationships I did look at partners’ phones, because there was something to see and I found out they were cheating on me. I’ve never in 12 years once felt that way with dh. But you need to figure out if what you’re feeling is instinct or paranoia. For me, when it was instinct, it was very clear.

[sauvignonblancplz]

Cool story bro

[OldWomanSaysThis]

OP, what did the messages say?

[Ughmaybenot]

Quite @FallonSwift

[Artandlove]

I wouldn’t care if my partner looked at my phone, I’ve nothing to hide. I think it only becomes a problem when somebody has something to hide.

OP I would totally check too if I had suspicions.

[FallonSwift]

Well this is an interesting first post which has escalated quickly...

[Oldestchild90s]

What baffles me is i see so many of these posts and wonder why the bloke is stupid enough to leave the messages on his phone! But that is irrelevant and unhelpful. Anyway, sorry you found out that information. They normally say that if you have a feeling and go snooping on the phone you'll always find something.. and you did!

Have you spoken to him about it yet? ☹️

[nexttimestop]

The relationship was over as soon as you decided you couldn't trust him and this time you were right. Good riddance to him.

[Franticbutterfly]

If you feel you need to look it's because you have reason not to trust him (speaking from experience I should have checked way earlier than I did).

[LiteraryType]

X

[beanpot1]

Well ladies and keyboard warriors, let me give you a little update...

After a day of my partners phone being faced down yeah you know what he got distracted and I thought fuck it opened his phone with the pin!! Oh I hear gasps how dare I, 'I should be dumped' ' what a disgrace' 'my partner should not be held responsible for my ex' let me tell you there was messages after messages from a another woman .... so ladies I'd like to say stick your comments, maybe get off here for 5 mins and engage with your old man who knows what he's up to , see ya

[Shoxfordian]

Yeah he probably realised you were doing it
I'd dump you for this

[ErickBroch]

Not everyone does this at all - i know you are using your past as a reason but its very unfair on your current partner if he has done nothing to make you feel paranoid.

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

If I caught a partner snooping on my phone, I’d end the relationship. No trust no relationship imo.

[category12]

You need to address the issue you have, rather than justifying it from your past. Your present bloke is not your ex. You've no business inflicting your emotional baggage on him. You're crossing the line from understandable anxieties into unhealthy behaviours.

I had a cheating ex, it's not that I don't understand what you went through.

[Ughmaybenot]

I’m sorry that happened to you in the past, but you’ll push him away with your lack of trust in him. He isn’t your ex, and to be treated with suspicion with no basis is really hard. Have you looked for help with your insecurity?

[beanpot1]

@LiteraryType passcode is the same I watched him put it in this morning 🙂
@SunShine682 thank you for looking this has eased my mind

And for the other reply's, yes I am a twat , I was a twat for 18 years when my ex husband was cheating on me , I had no idea , so I guess I'm damaged goods. Wonderful to read many of you 'wouldn't dream of looking' 'no need to' 👍🏻

[Mary1935]

Op are you bored and is this a change in behaviour for you. Where you suspicious before he changed his log in details.

[Ughmaybenot]

‘This little habit’ stop it. What the hell is wrong with you? He obviously has nothing to hide or he wouldn’t leave his phone on the side while he was in the shower. Honestly I’d be furious if I found out my ‘D’P was doing this, such a complete lack of trust and respect.
So to answer, yes you’re being a twat.

[SunShine682]

Iv just checked on my iPhone 11 Pro

I locked the screen and swiped up... it just brought up my pin bit.

To see my notifications I have to unlock the phone and swipe down from the top left. I didn’t set it up that way so I’m guessing it happened with the new update.

[mumto2teenagers]

I’ve never snooped on DH’s phone so don’t think everyone does it. Although if we are out and my battery goes I’ve used his and he gave me the passcode to unlock it so don’t think he has anything to hide. I think I’ve done the same and DH knows mine but not sure he remembers it, again I have nothing to hide so wouldn’t care if he wanted to look through my phone, he wouldn’t though.

He could now want the passcode for a number of reasons, I’ve set mine in case a lose my phone.

I think the bigger issue is your need to snoop. Do you suspect something?