I can’t honestly remember when things started to go wrong but it’s been happening for a while just getting progressively worse and worse. Have tried the couples counselling route and worked for a few months. He has been for counselling several times himself and it hasn’t helped. Has also been on antidepressants for a while and they didn’t help either. Obviously a lot of back story here but I think we have finally finished and I just wanted to put it out there as there is nobody I can talk to in real life. He lost the plot at our 6 year old this morning and when I stepped in went off on a rant about him and then about me. I told him leave the house as soon as he was dressed and not to come back into the kitchen where we were all getting breakfast. I think he packed a bag upstairs. I don’t care where he’s gone or whether or not he’s planning on coming back, for myself I actually hope he’s not, but hate having to explain it to the children. I’m sure they won’t be surprised as they have been living with a lot of crap for the last while although as it’s been escalating ever so gradually they may well think this is normal.
I don’t even expect or need responses really I’m just exhausted and sad. We’ve been married almost 10 years together another 3, have had 5 children together although apparently he never wanted most of them and every decision we’ve ever made has all been me and he’s just gone along with it all so none of the financial/housing mess or anything else that goes wrong here right down to anything the kids do “wrong” well that’s all my fault or his parents fault or the bank or his employers or basically everyone else but himself. I married him because he was so kind and gentle and thoughtful and just lovely but he has over the years morphed into this awful bitter resentful negative angry man and I don’t even like him any more never mind love. How the hell did I get it so so wrong? Even when things were deteriorating I kept hoping this talk will be the one to sort it things will get better now etc etc etc every single time. I feel so stupid.
I will cope on my own, I have an older daughter who is great and my mum and I’ve come to the concussions anyway that however hard things are going to be from now on, it’s still better than living with his toxic presence.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I think this is finally over
Cosmicbird · 17/04/2018 09:45
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