Partners twitter

[TheRoadToEverywhere]

Fairly new-ish relationship, around 4 months. It's got quite intense, quite quickly and is going well.
Just had a random glance through his Twitter (out of boredom, nothing stalky) and have discovered he follows a large number of porn stars, glamour models, girls/women who have accounts to basically pose with nothing on.

It has really, really bothered me. I know he is entitled to follow whoever he wants to but its left me feeling absolutely shit. I didn't think he was this type of man.
I look absolutely nothing like the women in these profiles, and now feel horribly inadequate.
For some reason it feels different to me to porn, as that's an outlet and and means to an end.

Is this my problem? Do I need to get over it?
I have crap self esteem anyway, this really isn't helping.

[Helpimfalling]

What's the latest OP

[Historicallyinaccurate]

On the "humouring people's insecurities" thing:
He is right that it can sometimes make things worse, but it cuts both ways. You could equally have said that humouring him over how he is with other women would be creating problems later.

This was very well expressed. Why don't you message him this and leave it at that? He's definitely just expecting you to drop it and put up with it, which you shouldn't have to do. He has made no moves to delete, so isn't going to change or compromise anything even if you find it distasteful/disrespectful, whatever.

Do you think he blocked you on WhatsApp for a short time to give himself chance to clear it up? Would it work like that?

Fwiw, my dh has done the same as sadiesnakes (I think) upthread - loads of daily 'checking in' with shit on reddit, whether at home with family or working, over a looong period, also on twitter/tumblr, you name it. Certainly lowered my opinion of him as a mature individual. Asking about it led to lies, which lowered my opinion further. Honestly, op, I'd leave him after 4 months if he's just trying to shut you down and expect you to accept it.

[TheRoadToEverywhere]

If you think the type of porn he'd be following on Twitter is 'soft' you've been inhaling too many sparkles.

[newcarsmell]

Wow some people have low standards.
He just doesn't sound like he can navigate an adult relationship, he's acting about 15.

[TheBrilliantMistake]

The first place to start is by talking to him.
He has a past and you're seeing some of it, but it may no longer be of much consequence to him now.
If they are all celebrity type women, then he's not meeting them, he's following them in a manner that he might follow Shania Twain, or another star he 'likes'. It's a shame it's porn related, but talk to him first. He's not hidden his account and at least deserves an opportunity to talk to you about it.

He may well reveal a side of himself you don't like, or he may just feel embarrassed that whilst single he ended up following them.

I'm pretty sure many of us would have something to be embarrassed about if someone could see into our past!

It's not the greatest sign, I admit, but still better to talk it out openly first.

[merville]

Also, the comments re. a man being labelled as controlling for being uncomfortable and challenging a woman about this; how likely is it that a woman would be following male porn actors who post graphic porn clips/imageson her social media .. And if she was I can't say many people would blame him hugely for drawing some conclusions about her priorities in life & character. We'd be being very naive to think she wouldn't be judged on it and considered not good relationship material.

[merville]

Four months! wtf happened with my autocorrect lol

[merville]

I'd be deeply uncomfortable about my bf/prospective partner following porn actresses on social media too. (And I have no problem with my partner watching porn, I watch it myself). Following them on social media is taking it to a whole other level - out of the functional, impersonal, fantasy world and into a rea which shows a bit too much interest and significance. I think sm reflects hobbies & interests - and while I enjoy porn, it's not a hobby or interest .. Nor would I want it to be a hobby or interest of my partner's.

Makes guy seem like a sleazy, porn hound objectifier - who doesn't care how he looks or is happy to look like someone for whom porn is important.

Also fourcmknggs is enough time to fall in love ( or think you are) so I don't agree with the op bashing on that either. Yes you may not know them very very well but your feelings will often have become engaged and you'll feel in love, however wise and rational that may not be.

[RidingWindhorses]

So is hardcore and you inferred soft on the basis of fuck all.

This isn't netmums sparkle. Your post looks in want of an avatar and hun.

[princesssparkle1]

She said 'a large number of porn stars' in her OP. Did you think they were posting Disney and Sylvanian Families pics?

There's a first time for everything 😳😂

Seriously - soft porn is also porn. 🤔🙄

The OP ....imo... has drip fed to make herself look less precious and princessy

No we are into double penetration.

Next it'll be scat and eating poo.

Please .... it's all a bit - silly 😜

[BoobleMcB]

spoiler alert

Oh just wait @ThisLittlKitty we get outnumbered 😂

[ThisLittleKitty]

I'm on page 4 and wow I'm glad the normal people have arrived!! Breaking up with someone because they follow some women on twitter! Actual madness. I don't know anyone IRL who would even be bothered by it. Seriously ott. Can't believe the first few pages of comments.

[RidingWindhorses]

You seem to think that because these women are attractive and post selfies they have nothing interesting to say. Where do you get that assumption from exactly?

That's not my assumption that's your asssumption. I said nothing of this sort. You said you liked looking at their pictures and admiring their bodies, you said nada about following their views on Brexit.

I was commenting on that particular activity of yours.

[Boobaloo1]

That's not virtue signaling you bellend

[TheLegendOfBeans]

Ah STFU boobaloo

Go and virtue signal elsewhere

[TheRoadToEverywhere]

Evidently. Although I will say some didn't look very happy about it.

No one is being shamed. I was simply pointing out that he is not following these accounts for the witty repartee.

Stop looking for things to beat me with.

[Boobaloo1]

Some women like double penetration op. Stop slut shaming

[TheLegendOfBeans]

"assuming they have nothing to say"

Yeah because he's following them for their opinions on the customs union.

So many grips that need to be distributed, think you've caught the office workers after a pinot grigio two at lunch. Christ.

Sorry he's a dick OP. You and I are the same age. He's shown you who he is. Listen and don't waste anymore time on this touchy individual. We really are well past this childish bollocks.

[saltandvinegarcrisps1]

The road. 😂

[TheRoadToEverywhere]

Thank you for your well wishes, genuinely x

But I didn't think I'd need to clarify they weren't the kind of porn stars that post knitting tutorials.

[saltandvinegarcrisps1]

Dick not duck obvs. Reading on the bus!

[saltandvinegarcrisps1]

FFS OP. come on - you know what you need to do. Every post of yours is revealing more dickish behaviour. Dump and move on. Or don't. And then post again in 2 years saying "my DP is a duck and I hate him"

[bitzy12]

Op I really think if you had said from the start it was extremely graphic porn then possibly more of us would of been on your side.....there's a massive difference in what I would class as extremely graphic porn and models.

I just thinking reading various threads over the last couple of months, the way some men get portrayed on here is awful. It's always the same posters defending the women without even looking at it from a mans perspective. Doesn't matter what the situation, he's in the wrong.

Won't surprise me if one day we are reading posts: 'omg dh had the last of the milk on his cereal....selfish bastard, what shall I do?'

Followed with a load of 'LTB' replies.....

I'm over and out and this thread but hope it turns out ok for you op, whatever happens

[TheRoadToEverywhere]

And double penetration.

Lots of insightful discussions to be had around that.

[BodakBlue]

You said you follow models etc to admire their bodies ergo they're posting pics of themselves. If a glamour model has something interesting to say rather than posting pics, that's completely different

You seem to think that because these women are attractive and post selfies they have nothing interesting to say. Where do you get that assumption from exactly? Evidently if you don't follow these women you have no idea what they are posting. Twitter is, after all, a platform that focuses on words. You can post half/fully naked selfies AND also tweet about interesting topics of conversation. Kim Kardashian does so daily.