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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Should I be worried about this?

30 replies

MischiefManagedAlways · 27/01/2017 23:04

My DP had a work conference in London yesterday and was away all day. There was a free bar and by the sounds of it everyone was drinking from the morning until at least 3 or 4 am.

We went out for dinner tonight and toward the end of the evening he told me that he got chatting to a women from another company and it started off innocent enough. Halfway through their conversation, after both establishing they were in relationships the women said to him, 'what happens on the conference stays at the conference' and leaned in to kiss him.

Now my DP swears he didn't kiss her and leaned back and said no. But he did admit to thinking about it and said that the consequences of the kiss made him think is it worth it?

This probably seems like a non event but I feel hurt and sad that he even thought about it. So should I just forget about this?

OP posts:

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WeeMcBeastie · 28/01/2017 19:53

I'm not sure what to think here. It may be that he's being honest but I had a similar situation with my ex, he went on to have affairs after this and one of those women told me that what my ex had told me was an attempted kiss had been an actual affair! I also have a friend who told his wife about a similar situation years ago but he actually slept with that woman and there have been other affairs then too. I hope he is just being honest with you but just be vigilant in future. My ex was very bad at hiding his affairs but my friend is scarily good.

hairypaws · 28/01/2017 18:54

Sounds like he wants to be open and honest. Sounds like a good guy.

Autumnchill · 28/01/2017 18:44

I had similar when I was at the Geneva Motor Show. Luckily the client saved me from this Dutch guy who said virtually the same thing 'what happens in Geneva stays in Geneva'! Client saw I couldn't shake him off and offered to walk me to my room. Once safe in my room I rang my husband and told him all about the night. We bumped into the client the other week and my husband thanked him for looking after me.

beepbeeprichie · 28/01/2017 18:42

I just read the OP's first post and her subsequent comments to my husband. He said he would absolutely tell me if something like that happened to him. And I trust him 100%. Not necessarily a case of no smoke without fire.

PastoralCare · 28/01/2017 18:39

Can't have it both ways: complain if they're owning up to things and complaining because they've hidden something.

JK1773 · 28/01/2017 18:36

Sounds like he's being honest if you haven't had any problems like this before. Must be difficult though and I'd probably be wondering like you are. I'd really try to put it behind you

Happybunny19 · 28/01/2017 18:05

I'd believe him under the circumstances. You say he's generally trustworthy and honest, and put in an awkward position by this woman. I think you have a good one there.

jeaux90 · 28/01/2017 17:58

Because there is no such thing as women's intuition. It's not a special power we have.

I also don't get the point about these "high women" what on earth is that about?

OP it sounds like he was being honest. A lot worse goes on at the conferences.

ghostwatch · 28/01/2017 17:53

What's your nasty point fulb ? Is there something wrong in asking what her women's intuition is ? Sometimes it helps to stop and take notice ? I think this is relevant.

MischiefManagedAlways · 28/01/2017 15:41

Well he showed me a picture of the women, his thinking behind it would be that I could see she wasn't his type.

OP posts:

IamNotDarling · 28/01/2017 15:36

Sounds genuine to me. Keep a watching brief.

BrieAndChilli · 28/01/2017 15:26

Everyone if they are honest has thought about someone else, even for a fleeting second. If an attractive interesting person pays you attention it is natural to be flattered and enjoy it. The crunch comes when it's time to take it further. Most people would then back away no harm done once they realised things were going too far.

Thinkingofausername1 · 28/01/2017 15:20

This is what makes me angry about these types of things. These types of women think they can get away with anything, because they are in a high position. I think you should be glad he has told you but keep an eye out in the next few weeks.

TheNaze73 · 28/01/2017 11:59

It happens at conferences sadly. I think he was being honest

SparklingRaspberry · 28/01/2017 11:44

Maybe he's just being honest with you?

If he didn't mention it to you and you found out another way, or if he waited a few months/years and then mentioned it, that would also be wrong.

Don't get me wrong I'd feel upset, but I would want to know.

GinIsIn · 28/01/2017 10:40

This happened to me - a colleague drunkenly kissed me at a work do. I told my DH the second I got home, in fact I woke him up to do so, because I never keep anything from him and wanted to be honest with him straight away. I told him exactly what had happened, and what I had said to my colleague. Not because I was covering my tracks but because I don't have secrets from my DH and would want him to be honest with me if the roles were reversed.

fulberoo · 28/01/2017 10:27

What is you women's intuition op ?
We can pick up on the subtle emotional messages being sent usually ?

Christ.

ghostwatch · 28/01/2017 10:25

What is you women's intuition op ?
We can pick up on the subtle emotional messages being sent usually ? Are you feeling trust or something not fitting right. I hope he has been true to you

LesisMiserable · 28/01/2017 09:39

I think he's does exactly what we all say we all want - been honest.

MischiefManagedAlways · 28/01/2017 09:36

It was a joint decision to go out and we do go out for meals fairly regularly.

OP posts:

LetThereBePeace · 28/01/2017 09:35

I would take him at his word unless you have any more reasons to doubt he was being truthful. And be happy that he's secure enough with you to tell you about it straight away.

Onemorewonthurt · 28/01/2017 09:35

Who's idea was it to go out for dinner? Do you usually go out for meals?

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MischiefManagedAlways · 28/01/2017 09:27

Thank you for all your replies.

He is genuinely an honest person and I've never had any issues with him before. I'll probably just see if anything else is mentioned over the next few days.

Thanks all.

OP posts:

junebirthdaygirl · 28/01/2017 09:24

My friend had this with her dp. He came home and told her straight away. He was genuine. I think l would just believe him if he has no history of cheating or messing around.

TyneTeas · 28/01/2017 01:18

Only you know your husband but if I was at a conference and chatting to a delegate and that had happened I can imagine backing off and having a similar conversation later with my dh. Not that it would mean i had seriously considered it , more why I hadn't and why

But definitely worth keeping an eye on...

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