My friend is having a shit time. There are various personal things going on for her but it is compounded by an utter lack of money. Her husband barely works, through illness, and she has two jobs, does every possible thing suggested on every bargain and scrimping board ever and they still only just cover their bills with a very minor amount set aside for emergencies. She is one of the hardest working people I know but is stuck in an area with few opportunities, where a car is essential and for family reasons can't move. There is no end in sight.
I provide all the emotional support I can, use birthdays and Christmas as an opportunity for treats but outside of that she insists on paying half of anything (I had thought to take her out for dinner as a treat, e.g., but couldn't do it). We have been friends most of our lives and I hate and find it so upsetting that one of my oldest and closest friends, who has always been there for me and works so hard is struggling when I could relatively easily help her out. I have thought of anonymously doing an Internet shop, sending vouchers, or signing her up for a veg box or something, but i think she would know it was from me as she doesn't confide in any of her other friends to the extent she does me.
I have been racking my brains for a year (since she first confided how truly dire it is) and can't think of any way I can do this as she would, quite understandably, be furious and hand anything back. I'm not trying to boast or anything like that, I genuinely want to know if anyone has managed to help their friends out and not ruined their friendship over it? I've just got off the phone with her again where she was incredibly upset because a payrise she was banking on hasnt happened. I just want to help her, I don't know how.
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Is there any way I can materially help my friend without making her angry?
15 replies
NaiveBean · 13/02/2016 18:12
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