He's not a bastard but he's behaved like he is. Confused.

[ComeDownToMe]

DP and I have been together nearly 2 years. We live together and it's great. We get on fantastically, he's witty, engaging, kind, supportive. The sex is amazing and we enjoy each other's company.

It started out as a casual relationship and I had a lot stronger feelings for him than he did me. But we ended up spending a lot more time together and grew a lot closer and our relationship turned serious.

The thing is one of my closest friends recently discovered her DH (now STBXH) was cheating on her and I've seen at first hand how broken she has been. Her ex has been an utter cunt and makes my blood boil.

My DP cheated on his then wife and she slung him out so I know everything I've said about my friend's ex I could equally say about my DP. I didn't feel good about this before but it's even worse now.

Can men really compartmentalise to such a degree they don't think about how much hurt they would cause someone they love.

I will probably be criticised for this and rightly so but I wasn't particularly judgemental on men having affairs before as long as no one got hurt. Now I've seen the hurt it feels a bit different.

I don't think of my DP as a bastard but he's done a lot worse than my friend's ex and I've called my friend's ex every name under the fucking sun.

How do I resolve this in my own mind.

[UnderTheGreenwoodTree]

So this is the mega-troll.

OP here and IwasHappy are one and the same?

Wow.

to all those affected by this.

[IamtheRealMrsEamonnHolmes2]

Unfortunately when these people don't get the attention they are after they resort to all kinds of stuff - various posts, various threads and even pretending they are different people . It's a bit galling when genuine people invest their time in them.

[Bogeyface]

Just another affected reinvention in the life of a fantasist aye.

Frankly I wish she would take her made up bullshit and find another site to live her Walter Mitty life on.

[AyeAmarok]

Why have you suddenly started posting in colloquialisms, OP? Ain't/weren't etc? You were not doing that at the beginning.

Have you had a significant knock to the heid?

[ComeDownToMe]

Jones honestly it weren't a dig. I get you have posted in my best interests - in your view - and you ain't been slagging me off. No reason for me to have a dig at you.

[IamtheRealMrsEamonnHolmes2]

OOOH errrr - rather apt , don't you think ?


Words fall out of my mouth
And I can’t seem to trace what I’m saying
Everybody wants your time
I’m just dreaming out loud,
I can’t have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.

[2Saggytitsand1fatarse]

Why aye Pet, teawamutu speaks the truth

[teawamutu]

It's up there with Kevin Costner's take on Aaanglish for Robin Hood.

Op, tis back to Creative Writing class for a bit; this ain't working.

[JonesTheSteam]

Oh, be honest, that responsibilities comment. It were totally a dig.

And you're right. Our relationships totally ain't comparable. They are nowt like each other.

Mine is based on honesty.

Yours is based on lies, deceit and you sticking your head in the sand, ain't it?

[2Saggytitsand1fatarse]

OP It is plain to see that you are no mistress of accents. Neither are you a mistress. Go away

[IamtheRealMrsEamonnHolmes2]

OMG and again.. I weren't .................

[IamtheRealMrsEamonnHolmes2]

Are you bored come ? Why don't you go and spend some special time with your old guy ?

[ComeDownToMe]

Jones I meant no offence and I weren't having 'a dig' honestly. I get your DH and my fiance are nowt like each other - tis the point I was making. Sincerely sorry if I offended you.

[Bogeyface]

sorry sothat! Clearly I got usernames confused, my comments where obviously aimed at the OP

[tingon]

There are two possible options here.

1 ... The OP is real, very stupid, with zero morals.

2 ... The OP is not real.

Best left alone either way really.

[SoThatHappened]

He hasnt proposed because he loves youSothat

Ummm I'm not the OP

[Offred]

IME the first person they go to to fill the mistress vacancy is the ex apparently; fat, boring and frigid wife...

[Bogeyface]

gabilan yep, that would be me, well I actually said "Remember what James Goldsmith said..." but the point is the same.

Quite why the OP thought anyone would say "Yes, you were right and we were wrong" when she announced their engagement is beyond me. It just makes matters worse imo!
He hasnt proposed because he loves you Sothat! He did it because men like this want the best of all worlds. They want the freedom to go out shagging who and when they want, with the wife providing him with all his home comforts. There is a vacancy in his life at the moment and so he has remedied that by proposing to the only woman stupid enough to say yes, you. Then, as has been said, there will be a new vacancy, filled by the next gullible idiot who believes his lies.

But hey, good luck with that. After all you will have all those lovely photos of a huge elaborate wedding to look at when he is "working late"

[IamtheRealMrsEamonnHolmes2]

Maybe he is having a detrimental effect on her language?

[SoThatHappened]

ComeDownToMe Sun 13-Sep-15 11:17:32 DP isn't a cunt, far from it, but he has done some shitty things. He does feel guilty about it.

This is so weird. 5 months ago we have isn't. Now she says she "talks" like this.

Well 5 months ago she didn't say DP ain't a cunt.

What the hell.

[Gabilan]

Well really we could have ended this on page 1 by just saying "When a man marries his mistress he creates a vacancy". Presumably someone did say that at some point but I'm afraid I'm not going back over 35 pages to check.

[SoThatHappened]

If he was fucking loads of other women whilst with his wife, maybe he still has their numbers.

ComeDown has been moved to future wife spot and all the others are still around.

[teawamutu]

'Dear Miss Bennet, I must tell you how I long for a quick bunk up at the Netherfield ball. Mrs Darcy doesn't understand me.'