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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I finally understand the BJ thing!!!

63 replies

igetitnow · 06/08/2015 20:42

NC for this (cube of poo, penis beaker and so on)

I finally "get" why women enjoy giving blowjobs.

I've always hated it, but I do it when asked to anyway, because well, it's nice to be nice.

I always thought that women who said they liked doing it were lying or something because I always felt too self conscious about doing it wrong or scared of choking to ever enjoy any part of it.

Well!! Tonight that has changed
FWB came to visit (I'm not a tramp I swear) and the reaction when I was doing my thing was bloody brilliant. Who knew you could have so much power over someone else's enjoyment

Now what else have I been missing because I let my self consciousness get in the way. I feel like there must be a whole other world out there that I should try

Bit of a pointless thread I suppose but I felt I wanted to share my accomplishment

OP posts:

Report

Threefishys · 09/08/2015 21:15

Saucer of milk ladies?

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 21:15

And I have explained.....again. Hopefully you're not still confused.

MrsLion · 08/08/2015 20:31

I did. I was also just very confused why people open threads they don't want to read.

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 17:20

Perhaps you should have questioned those who did make nasty comments then? I agree it should be tackled.

MrsLion · 08/08/2015 16:54

I agree there should be two topics, but I felt OPs post was as much about her self- esteem as it was about sex and she was unjustly mocked and slapped down by a few posters.
To me a FWB is still a relationship between two people, it's just in a different form.
But we all view relationships differently. It's very subjective. No one is right or wrong.
I don't really care where this thread goes in all honesty! I do understand that hearing about the details of others' sex lives is not everyone's cup of tea, but those who want to share should be able to do so without receiving nasty remarks. I'm not suggesting you did- but others did.

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 16:28

Oh the "funnily enough" at the end of your post gave it a rather adversarial tone I thought. But maybe I am wrong.

Sex certainly can be intertwined with relationships but pretty often it is not, many people have sex while not being in relationships as evidenced by the fact that OP is not in a relationship with her FWB.

Clearly I am not alone in thinking this, given the opinions of posters up thread and the fact the there are separate topics for sex and relationships.

Perhaps you could address your further thoughts on this to MNHQ if you don't agree. I know there was a lot of controversy when it was first created. Personally I am glad it's there as I think the message that sex and relationships go hand in hand and should be addressed as such, not a particularly healthy one.

MrsLion · 08/08/2015 16:23

My latest post was not questioning you, or trying to change yours or anyone else's point of view. Just stating my opinion and providing support to the op.

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 16:09

Please question someone else MrsLion I am afraid you won't turn me to your point of view.

MrsLion · 08/08/2015 16:01

Sex and relationships are very closely intertwined. Funnily enough.

igetitnow · 08/08/2015 15:53

Thank you :)

OP posts:

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 15:25

I'm glad you're feeling happier and more confident .

igetitnow · 08/08/2015 15:21

It being him visiting

OP posts:

igetitnow · 08/08/2015 15:20

Thanks for all the nice comments :) it's nice to think that it is possible that someone else will read it and also realise that things can be different to how they are

Can't afford I hope you find your someone special.

I don't suppose I thought women were lying, I just didn't understand it at all and I really didn't understand how anyone could enjoy it. I didn't get it.

Nicki I apologise that it is in here rather than the other board. Have mentioned that while I've lurked for ages I never joined until recently, I'm not able to post in the other board yet.

Bolshier he's coming over again during the week. I am looking forward to it more than usual

OP posts:

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 14:40

To express that it should be in the specially designated topic. Wasn't I clear enough?

MrsLion · 08/08/2015 14:36

Why did you open the thread then Nicki?

scatterthenuns · 08/08/2015 14:00

Did you really think that just because you weren't enjoying something, all women were lying?

That line is trotted out with anal sex too, and it is just so naive.

NickiFury · 08/08/2015 13:59

Could this not have gone in the specially created "Sex" part of the board? I don't care about anyone's sex life except my own.

Branleuse · 08/08/2015 13:59

glad you had some good sex. One of lifes greatest pleasures to be able to lose your inhibitions and properly enjoy some new stuff

lemonade30 · 08/08/2015 13:56

you know OP (and others) it is eminently preferable to be a merry little cock sucker than a snippy, pseudo sanctimonious, uptight old cow.

good for you my friend. milk it (him) for all its worth

BolshierAyraStark · 08/08/2015 13:05

Good for you OP, onwards & upwards. As for the what else have you been missing?-get fwb back round tonight & get on with finding out

theredjellybean · 08/08/2015 12:15

i agree with all who say that your post was fabulous, great to see someone discovering a new sense of confidence and freedom in any area of their life ( well aslong as its legal :))
you may well have been 'missing' out on a healthy and fun sex life ...so enjoy exploring this now.

goodcompany2 · 08/08/2015 11:52

I think it's wonderful. Enjoying and revelling in your own sexuality and giving pleasure whilst getting pleasure out the act itself is what good sex is all about.

Your post was and is lovely and it made me smile. Sometimes it's a mind shift to change how something makes you feel. sometimes it's a different partner. Whatever it is, is irrelevant here, just enjoy your new found confidence.

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squishee · 08/08/2015 11:19

Amen to what Bertie said.

MrsLion · 08/08/2015 05:02

Not being confident in bed does not mean you are with the wrong person.

It means you lack confidence and low self-esteem in general, and is affecting your sex life.

I have no idea why others posters are giving you such a hard time for wanting to share the overcoming of a self-esteem obstacle. Isn't 'Relationships' supposed to be supportive?? Unbelievable.

Low confidence is crippling. It can seriously harm your relationships, career, friendships and sex life.

Well done OP. I hope you continue to find pleasure in things you were previously too insecure to enjoy, in and out of the bedroom.

CantAffordtoLive · 08/08/2015 04:01

:)
Actually OP I'm feeling a teeny bit jealous. I don't have a partner or a FWB!

I love giving pleasure to someone special, I just dont have a 'someone special' :(

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