Would you take new DP to parents evening as well as both parents?

[FTS123]

Does anyone do this?? STBXH asked if his new(ish) gf could come to parents evening with us next time. I said it was fine, but I think I only said it because I was so surprised by his request! I don't think she should come, they are our children not hers. Does anyone's new DP come with them to parents evening?? I wouldn't dream of taking mine, but maybe that's just me.

[Castlemilk]

Tell him that you've mentioned it to a couple of people you have known in the same situation and all have expressed amusement and puzzlement that she would try and go. Say something along the lines of 'It sounds like the reception would be somewhat embarrassing for all of us but most of all for her. My first thought was indeed that it would be an odd and inappropriate thing for her to do but I felt it would be unfair to go on that without asking a few unbiased opinions. It seems that most people would conclude that she was being pretty interfering to gatecrash something specifically for the parents. So no I don't think it's a good idea.'

[tomanyanimals]

No she shouldn't my dh comes to my sons parents evening because his biological dad doesn't have anything to do with him his own decision and my dh has been there for a long time now but I would never go to my dsd parents evening as her mum is there and it's nothing to do with me to be honest

[YellowTulips]

It's not appropriate.

Step mum of 10 years plus and v involved in care of DSD - I have attended school plays/concerts etc where ticket restrictions allow (and have been pleased to do so) but never been to a parents evening. DH attends with EX as they are the parents - clue is in the title of the event.

Would be different if the other parent wasn't in the scene but in cases of shared residency I think it's pushy and not appropriate.

[Vivacia]

If he tries to make out you're crazy, ask him why she wants to be there.

Also, how old is your child and don't they have a problem with her being there??

[Bessiebigpants]

This made me think of a friend who's ex husbands partner is so neurotic that she insisted on staying in the hospital cubicle the whole time that my friends son was having an emergency surgery, then afterwards.It was like she was terrified that if she left they would start having sex over their extremely unwell son..She was ow I was amazed she had the balls frankly.She is not especially involved in the children's lives either.Everyone involved in the child's care were puzzled as hell.

[Complicatedasever]

I would say no. I'm a proud step-mum and have played a supporting role in bringing up my, now 23 year old, lovely step-daughter. But that's what my role is - supporting. I'm not her mum, she has one of those already and I respect that. If the other parent were not around, it might be a different matter.

[SolidGoldBrass]

It's obviously different if a parent's new partner is living in the family home where the DC live and is effectively a step parent, but that's not the case in the OP.

[ProbablyMe]

My DP comes to my sons parents evenings, hospital appointment etc....although in my case it's because my exH is an arse who can't be bothered despite only living 15 mins away. I want my DP there as he sees more of the boys than there dad does and also is much more interested. If exH suddenly wanted to attend and bring his girlfriend however I would say no!

[BeeRayKay]

I went to my step sons first ever parent evening, and sports day, and nativity show. the last two his mo!m came as well as me and xp the first only me and xp went to. but we had shared care, i was the main carer as his mum didn't care and his dad wasn't really around...

my husband comes to my eldests but her bio dad isn't around....

so horses for course's.

[BitOutOfPractice]

It is SO him OP. Don't let him bamboozle you and good luck with the chat!

[FTS123]

Pinoli - how awkward!! By any chance is she a teacher?? You've all made me feel less mental (which is how I'll be painted later) it's not me...it's him.

[Clutterbugsmum]

Floggingmolly Tue 25-Nov-14 12:38:25

Why would she even want to? , perhaps she has no children of her own and thinks they are something more then a quick 5 min chat.

[pinoli]

Nooooooooooooo

And our school has rules against it! Only two parents at parents evening and only one appointment per child. They refuse to do separate appointments if you don't get on ect (i suppose they would in DV cases).

It's parents evening for my 3DC tonight. I only ever see ex at parents evenings and plays. Thats it. Things are far from amicable and we get the bizarre and frankly embarrassing scenario of both of us sat as far away from each other as possible in the school hall until we are called in. Then we perch on those little chairs for 5 mins and leave. Before he got a new GF he wouldn't say a thing. Now however he comes with a list of questions about SATS and levels and sub levels and achievements and grills the teacher for 10 minutes, it's beyond embarrassing. Guess what his new GF's job is?

[Ludways]

No, I don't think that's right.

I have a dsd, I love her to pieces and we get along great BUT I'm not her mum or a resident parent, so no way would I go. I've read reports and commented positively but that's it.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Both me and exH have new partners. All very amicale.

No WAY would either of our partners come to parents evening. Why would they? The clue is in the title. "Parents"

[Floggingmolly]

Why would she even want to?

[KittyandTeal]

I've been a teacher for 7 years, 3 parents evenings a year. That's a lot of parents evenings and I've never come across this!

I often make 2 appointments for the same child so I can talk to the parents separately but I've never had mum, dad and new girlfriend!

[dorasee]

No.Way!!! What's wrong with her and the ex???? What a weird message for the school as well.

[WhoeverYouWantMeToBe]

What if you wanted to talk about something sensitive or private that she shouldn't be privvy to?
Very odd!

[choochoomcgrew]

So weird!!!
I have been with dp for 2 years and not been to one of his kids parents eves. I would if he asked IF the ex wasnt going to be there which she frequently isnt as she doesnt give a crap but tbh he has it covered really! How bloody odd!!

[Tryharder]

My first thought was: wow, she (the new girlfriend) really doesn't trust him, does she?

I mean, why would she even give a fuck? You might be interested and nice enough to ask how it all went after the event but why would you want to spend 10 mins of your life looking at little Johnny's workbook when it's not your own child.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Is it likely that XP wants to take his girlfriend simply to rub your nose in the fact that he is having sex with someone else? If so, try to write it off as just another reason why you are glad to be rid of him - what an immature prickish thing to do.
On the other hand (sorry, don't know the back story) but do you have concerns that he is trying to replace you as DC's mother with this new GF and push you out of the picture?

[Lampy]

That's crazy! No way!

I'm separated from dd's dad and it would never have occurred to me to invite along my new dp (who isn't even that new really). It is all very amicable and everyone us friends. Nativity, concerts etc we all go along to as a group but a parents evening is totally different.

The only possible situation I could think of would be if dd's dad couldn't come and I felt I needed support but he would be there as a silent bystander only.

[FTS123]

Top tip walkacrossthesand! Will try that tonight when he comes over for a "chat" need to grow a pair....and quickly!!

[KoalaDownUnder]

God no!

That is ridiculous. I lived with my ex-partner for 2 years and he had 2 youngish primary-school kids with his ex-wife. It never even crossed my mind that I might be welcome at the parents' night !