Help me NOT send this text!

[HelpMeSitOnMyHands]

Cherchez l'homme. Of course, it's about a man.

I met him April, we got to know each other slowly. I realised I liked him, and that he was a patient, good humoured, clever, creative person, who cared about thinngs. We tentatively discovered we both liked each other. We have been on two dates, that's all, but they were a full week apart because I was away in between. He was supposed to be coming over to my house later, and I sent a text to suggest a time. I realise I haven't heard from him since early monday morning. Just after midnight Sunday I mean. Now I'm sitting on my hands. I'm quite mumsnet savvy. I recognise the red flags. I recognise a player and a narc. I thought this guy was lovely. He seemed to like me back. We were actually chatting (and I know you can't count on beer-talk) about the near future iyswim.

Help me not to send a sarky "?" by text now. My house is clean on the plus side. I'm going to go and get a bottle of wine, for mySELF. Whether he comes or not.

[FreudianGymSlip]

Oh that's good OP. Best of luck to you, I hope it works out

[Pat45]

I love happy endings & new beginnings. I hope it goes well for you.

[MagnificentMaleficent]

Good

I'm sure he is one of the good guys.

[NamesNick]

funny you should pop up as I was thinking about you earlier.

glad you seem to be moving along quite nicely

don't be afraid to just be yourself with this guy. no second guessing each other, and if you feel it, say it.

communication is key imo

happy for you x

[HelpMeSitOnMyHands]

We aren't scared to actually ring each other now. I know texting is a bit less scary when you're a phonecallphobe like I am, but luckily after the near disaster earlier in the week I think we've moved slightly from texting to ringing (providing it's not work hours)

[HelpMeSitOnMyHands]

I'm hesitant to bump this in case somebody recognises a detail in here and links it to me but he rang me today and we are meeting up tomorrow. He also invited me to a friend's thing which is 10 days away! So I think I can trust my instincts. I am a good judge of character really. That's why it had me so confused. Anyway, I know that two good people don't necessarily work out.

[wellthatsdoneit]

I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt given your previous instincts of him being a good bloke etc.

However, anything dodgy in the next few weeks which don't have a reasonable explanation then cut your losses.

Hope you have a lovely time.

[AppleAndMelon]

Glad it worked out OP. If you know you are a good judge of character then I'd go with your instincts.

[petitdonkey]

I totally believe him. I was at home with DH on Saturday and his phone pinged with a text from me that, I kid you not, I had sent 8 days earlier!!! That isn't the first time it has happened. He often gets voicemails way after I leave them too.

iMessage is dodgy as shit!!

So happy for you OP - keep trusting your instincts x

[QuintessentiallyQS]

Sorry, both the phones were trying to use Imessages, not just his.

[QuintessentiallyQS]

Do you have an iphone? I discovered that my son sent me many messages from his iphone to me, and I did not get them. Then we disabled the Imessage option (which I think is using the internet/wifi rather than the telephone network) and the problem was solved. I did not know that my phone tried to send the texts as Imessages, and if he was not in range of the chosen wifi, I did not receive his messages.

[differentnameforthis]

two, not to

[differentnameforthis]

WRT the texts, my dh has an iphone & his friends (who also have iphones) often don't get the imessages that the phones sends (like text messages, but called imessages if between to iphones)

Also, he has text me & I haven't got it before now (samsung), yet on his phone it looks like it has gone through.

I hate all this on MN, no one prepared to give the benefit of the doubt etc. when it actually turns out that he didn't get a text from op.

[Pinkfrocks]

On that basis then why don't you agree with him to only phone and not text?
IMO texts allow people to be passive aggressive- they are a way of avoiding real contact - because it's easy to ignore them, say they haven't arrived, etc.

I know phone calls can be ignored and answered by voicemail, but generally texts seem far more unreliable.

I'm actually relieved that texting didn't exist in the old days when I was dating.

[HelpMeSitOnMyHands]

I checked the status of the messages on my phone (i didn't know I could do that on that phone) and for those two messages, it says 'sent' not delivered. All my other messages do say delivered. I don't understand it but I do believe him because he is lovely and very honest. I'm a good judge of character, honestly! if he'd had teflon stripes I'd never have invested five minutes in him. I knew he was a good guy. Obviously that's no guarantee of anything.

Ok, thanks everybody. I was so anxious last night.

[Flossiex2]

Hmmm don't trust him from what you've said but you are in the situation and you believe him which is the main thing. No more chances though I would say.

[Pinkfrocks]

I think texts are a hopeless way to communicate with such delicate matters as early dates with someone. you can never be sure they've arrived.

I think it's a generatlonal thing- we used to phone a landline and be done with it, which is much simpler. worst case you'd get the answerphone or no answer at all.

[daisychain01]

Definitely don't sleep with him!.

Shame I need to explain that my comment was irony, garlic !

Unfortunately it's difficult to convey

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Well, not sure I believe him, but I'd suspend disbelief at this stage and see what happens... Just be a bit careful of how invested you get

[HelpMeSitOnMyHands]

I didnt sleep with him no. My teen is here. She is asleep now but no, no way!

[HelpMeSitOnMyHands]

He's just left. There were two texts of mine he never got. No idea why but i believe him. He was saying he had a lousy sunday. He poured his heart out in a tezt and he didnt get the text i sent in reply to it. He showed me his phone and there were two texts missing. It was no wonder he thought id gone off him. Luckily he pucked up the phone while i went on mumsnet!

[GarlicAugustus]

Definitely don't sleep with him!

Well, OP, I hope you did if you wanted to, and didn't if you didn't :)

[BringMeSunshine2014]

I have a lot of trouble with texts not going through (I'm with virgin) and my friends with O2 do as well. I'd believe him. Also, if the 'host' hasn't contacted you to tell you what time they'd like you to come then you might not want to ring them - male or female. Just because he's a bloke doesn't mean he should have been the one to ring. 50/50 stupidity nerves! Hopefully they've both learnt from it also a few posters.

[ladygracie]

I take back the very rude name I called him earlier. Hope you have a fab night.
I've had quite a few texts not go through recently - very annoying!

[Cobo]

For the same reason she didn't contact him today!