I've been with my partner almost three years and we've just bought a house together. Good relationship, very happy, no issues.
For various reasons I'd like to get married as opposed to just living together. He's always said that he is happy either way but because it means a lot to me he's happy to get married and we can book it all ( it's going to be tiny as I've no desire for a huge do! ) for a few months time and he'll look forward to it.
My question. .. Have any of you married without a romantic proposal and does it even matter?! I'm not 22! He is romantic in his own way and he's caring and supportive but we've just has grown up discussions and made decisions re getting married and I can't see him getting down on one knee! ( we'd just piss ourselves anyway )
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Relationships
Getting married but no proposal. Does it actually matter?
TheWorldAccordingToJC · 22/06/2014 22:56
No proposal.
He'd been wanting to get married for years but did want to buy a ring and did want a 'do'. I also want to get married, but less bothered about 'do'. Would also have gone without ring, but was of the view that it should be something lovely or not at all if it was a 'forever' ring rather than a promise type one iyswim.
House finished & we decided to go shopping 
Now we just have to agree on a wedding. This will take time and skilful negotiation Fortunately we tend to agree on most other things 
BTW we've been together 11.5years.
There was no romantic proposal here. DH tried to tell me the other day he'd asked me to marry him. 
we've been married 15 years, so I would say it's that important.
No proposal, no ring and neither of us wear an engagement ring.
I recommend a Friday 13th to get married, we were the only ones in the district to get married that day and we could choose any time we liked. No squeezing in between other people for us 
I don't have an engagement ring either. Would have be fairly pointless as there was only 3 months between the decision to marry and the actual wedding. DH asked 4 months pregnant me if it would be better legally for us to be married before DC was born. At the time it was, so we arranged it and got married when I was 7 months pregnant. It was a nice day - didn't feel any different afterwards mind you! We've been married almost 17 years now (together 27 in total)
I think it's less about the proposal and more about the relationship as a whole. There's nothing wrong with grand gestures, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with just getting on with it either
We had always talked about getting married and were in fact TTC (DS 1 is now 4 months!)
My DP had a few beers one night and was hopping awkwardly from one foot to the other and finally confessed to being terrified of the whole jewellers/ring buying thing! I told him that a lot of people choose the ring together. He looked visibly relieved and when I walked through the door the following day after work he flung himself down on one knee and proposed! We chose the ring the next day and I was pregnant one month later
Getting married next month!
After two years together, (now)DH and I decided to get married. I lived abroad, so started planning the wedding. Everyone (including my DM) tutted and said that if I didn't have a ring / proposal, I was wasting my time and money and we weren't actually getting married. I paid deposits through gritted teeth and next time I visited DH, we went ring shopping together, bought a lovey little ring (we had considered going without a ring due to the fact that I was still at Uni and we were totally broke, but my parents, who had offered to pay for our wedding said that they'd withdraw their offer if he didn't buy me a diamond ), which brought immense relief to all involved.
Twelve years and two DC later, we are happily married despite the fact that he didn't get down on one knee until after I'd booked the wedding and reception!
DP bought a ring, I already knew he was buying it, he was very eager to get married, I was 'meh' about it (never fancied it really). He collected the ring when I was there, then presented it to me later that evening whilst we shared some food and wine.
I would be mortified if he'd done a showy proposal, I think it's all a bit overrated. If you love each other and want to marry, then crack on
We've been together 20 years....
DH said 'I don't know what to get you for your birthday - do you want to get married?'
Me 'err, ok then'
So we did!
OP hope these replies are giving you reassurance that romantic proposals are a little thin on the ground in RL .
We once had a dinner party and went round the table with our proposal stories. It was hilarious but actually, there wasn't a single dream come true gorgeous one amongst us.
DH and I are about to celebrate our silver wedding and the others in that group aren't far behind.
But, if you want to feel really sick and jealous here's a real one: holiday planned together camping beside some exotic lake with beach. He gently weakens her at dawn and leads her outside where he has written 'marry me?' In the sand. He goes on one knee as the sun rises and produces the ring.... To be married in a couple of months. Ahhhhh
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