dh snoring is really ruining our relationship

[balenciaga]

I know it sounds funny but it isn't

I am 9 months preg and for last few months have barely slept cos of his snoring. obviously me being preg is not helping either but I just feel pure rage when I am laying there wide awake and look across to him fast asleep snoring his head off, oblivious, blissfully asleep when I could cry with lack of sleep

I poke him which stops it for a bit it goes quieter but then gradually just goes louder again

it used to be if he slept on his side it didn't happen but it happens all the time now. he has offered to sleep on the sofa so last few weeks he has, but that makes me sad

one of the reasons he split with his ex before me is that apparently she used to make him sleep on the sofa for months before they split up, but his story was that it was cos they weren't getting on more like she was having the same problem as me !!

he is not fat but possibly slightly overweight which I don't think helps but wtf am I meant to say, I cant say anything :(

if its like this after the babys born its really gonna cause problems!!

help please :(

[daisychain01]

And just to mention, it is also imoortant to be checked out by the GP, my DP did have some signs of sleep apnoea but for him the GP seems to be happy now that his breathing is controlled by the correct sleeping position and I have noticed his breathing is a lot more steady and regular

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

Yes to all of the advice so far. balenciaga, you are suffering from sleep deprivation. You really need to look after yourself at the end of the day and make the change to make sleep possible. Have separate bedrooms. There is no shame in it even though it is something folks just don't discuss.

My dn denied it for years until out teenage son pretended to sleep with snoring on our driveway one afternoon and our toddler ran up to him saying "Daddy! Daddy!". He went to the gp and was advised to loose weight. He did but still snores on the Richter scale.

Good luck and hope you can get a power nap.

[sykadelic]

My husband and I are quite the pair. He has bad hearing and I snore. You'd think that means he slept great, no, my snoring IS that bad. Girls don't like to admit it because it's not "ladylike" but it's not my fault. It's something I have no control over (like having hazel eyes).

I was diagnosed with sleep apnea about 10 years ago but simply told to lose weight and have my tonsils removed. I was rediagnosed in October 2013 after my husband was spending more and more time on the couch... and it was meeting with that sleep doctor that made me cry.

It made me cry because he told me things I wish I'd been told years ago, the main one being, sleep apnea CAUSES weight gain. This "lose weight" nonsense, dieting and having nothing happen. Basically having people blame me for gaining weight, for being lazy (no energy 'cause you're always tired), for many other things that just simply aren't my fault.

So I now have a CPAP machine and while wearing it, I no longer snore. My husband sleeps in our bed and it's a bit of a process but I'm slowly gaining more and more energy.

Please don't blame your husband for this. Don't be angry with him without first giving him a chance to fix it. Tell him you're really tired that he needs to see a doctor and get tested and if he doesn't have sleep apnea, it's STILL not his fault he snores and maybe there are other solutions (nose strips, nasal sprays etc).

Trust me when I say he will appreciate you telling him that you want HIM to sleep better as much as yourself. He probably, like me, doesn't realise how much sleep he's missing out on until he starts to get better sleep.

Sorry this is so long but sleep apnea is often overlooked because people just think snoring is "one of those things" but it can be deadly. It's important you get him checked out.

[silverlight]

I'm lying here listening to my DW snoring, so I know how you feel OP. Has your DH tried Nytol Anti-snoring? It has some good reviews on the Boots web site.

[HopeClearwater]

Marking place, I've only solved this problem by separate bedrooms but desperately want my dc to have own rooms now. How my DH sleeps through the noise he makes is beyond me.

[maleview70]

There is a lot to be said for not sleeping in the same bed.

When all you want is sleep, why do you have to have someone next to you?

I would do this if we had a spare room.

[MrsWentworth]

Separate rooms have been our salvation. I was becoming ever more miserable, unslept and resentful of DH lying there snoring away merrily. In our old house, I moved to the spare room; when we moved house, we made it official and bought a house where we could both have our own rooms (which also has the good side effect that I can arrange mine how I like, and vice versa!)

It makes no difference to sex - in fact, the one thing that is a real sex-killer is being unslept and resenting your well-slept partner for it.

DH was a bit reluctant to make it official (I think he was afraid that it meant I'd gone off him) - but as we are still together, I think he's got over that. He is also quite glad that he can go to bed as late as he likes without waking me up...

[Flyingducky]

Separate beds for us too. We are much nicer to each other and it doesn't affect intimacy at all, we just visit each other.

It actually improved our sex life.

The kids talk about mummy's room and relatives are a bit when they visit but fuck it! works for us and have a happy marriage.

[croquet]

Haven't read the rest of the posts, but trust me if you are annoyed now you will be livid when he snores and wakes the baby up in precious sleep-times.

Poke him in the ribs and tell him to sleep on his side?

[croquet]

p.s. Experiment with him having no booze for an evening, might stop the snoring.

[VanitasVanitatum]

Nytol nasal spray = amazing. Stopped my exes absurdly loud snoring straight away. Really worth a try, though of course doctors too.