Background is I have spent the last five days staying at DBs flat other side of country with my two children. DH stayed at home to do work although three of those days were weekend and annual leave for his birthday.
Baby ds fell ill whilst i was there. Hospital visit but turned out to just be virus. I ended up extending my stay as could not face five hour train journey with constantly crying 10 month old baby. I had v little sleep whilst I was there. Ds was coughing and screaming all night, everynight. I come home on day 5 as ds has improved. On the train my DD starts vomiting just into the journey :( then she faints. She has blood sugar problems so this has happened before. It was very stressful to say the
least, but I managed to stay calm and deal with her throwing up and collapsing, and with a toddling cranky 10 month old stuck between carriages as we had no seats for the first two hours.
I texted DH who offered to collect us. Sweet but impractical. I asked him if he could please please meet me off train on platform as had a wobbly 4yr old in pushchair, a free range baby, backpack and two other bags. He didn't, choosing instead to amble down platform whilst I got a stranger to help. I snapped at him. 'Thanks for helping me off the train'. His face fell and I basically got passive agressive distant treatment for a while as is the usual form, however, I did apologise later on and organised presents (actually his birthday that day) and a takeaway and put kids to bed, cleared up the vomit laden bags and buggy. Not quite in that order! He remained frosty with me for some time despite all of this.
I slept with both kids in our bed as Dd was up in night retching etc and I was worried about her blood sugar. Baby was also up four times in night. I breastfeed btw. Dh had a nights sleep downstairs on sofa. So night six of hardly any sleep for me... my ds seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Coughing and crying, my Dd now has diarrhoea. DH asks what is wrong with baby and I was pretty sarcastic. 'He has a virus, I had to take him to hospital remember?' DH gets stroppy. 'Do you realise how horrid and snappy you've been since you got back?' and then he starts up the sulky treatment again.
I can't deal with it. I am SHATTERED. I have two sick children, I also have a cold. I cannot deal with DH disappearing in a sulk because I was sarcasti to him. Surely a grown man can see I am at the end of my tether and need support?
So i lost my temper big time. I roared at him, shouted, cried. Called him a child. My poor girl was scared and frightened. I stomped out of the house to go to the post office and cooled down a bit. When I got back I have been told that I 'devalue and discredit' my DHs arguments, that it is unreasonable for me to shout him down and call him names. He shouldnt
have to put up with me being stroppy and grumpy... and he has nothing to apologise for. He actually rarely apologises for anything.
second round right now - I told him out of earshot of children that I currently hate him and want to get out of the house away from him. I've never spoken to him like that before.
Things have quietened down now.
Am I a horrible horrible person? I feel wretched.
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Relationships
Am I a terrible bitch to DH? Quite long and self involved!
Marzipanface · 03/04/2014 15:46
Her life would probably be easier then bigdog888 as she would have one less "child" to deal with. 
If losing your temper in response to sleep deprivation and unreasonable behaviour there must be very few couples in this world who are not in abusive relationships 
OP, I can completely understand why you need your OH to see it from your perspective and stop using emotional withdrawal to bully you into disregarding your own feelings and needs.
Do you have someone who knows him too that you can talk this through with in RL?
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What Goldmandra said. Under the circs you were only human to blow your top I think.
In the interests of preserving family life and not having a hateful weekend it might be good to sit down with DH and to simply say I am sorry to have gone off at you like a raving loony but I was out of my mind with sleep deprivation and you taking mortal offence at me being short with you didn't help matters.
I think it might be helpful to acknowledge to him that you both have very different behaviour patterns where rage and conflict are concerned and that neither are healthy. Then see what you can agree together to address it.
I have a habit of letting things build until I go off the deep end too. DH hates a row and will either do exactly what your DH does or laugh at me. Neither gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling towards him. 
We've agreed that I'll try to flag my irritation levels to him earlier and he'll try to accept that it's normal to p*ss someone off every so often, and to make amends and get over it, not turn it into the 100yr silent war.
Hope the children recover over the weekend and you can both get some downtime.
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