Bully of a husband got a taste of his own medicine today....

[Littlenastybully]

.....and I've been grining to myself ever since.

He's not a very nice person, likes to think he's better at everyone else, an egotistical bastard.

He has a real problem when driving, thinks he's the most brilliant driver in the works and everyone else is shit. So much so that I can't drive the car when he's in it, I'm so fed up of being criticised for everything (despite being older than him, having past my test at 17 means I've been driving for 16 years now, never an accident, never any points, driven all over the world and I am a very good driver).

Anyway, when he drives it's a constant tirade at other drivers, shouting about how shit they are, mouthing 'cunt' and 'dickhead' at them, you get my drift.

Anyway, so today driving to the supermarket he went to pull
INto a lane, someone didn't see him indicate so he had to pull out again...he did the usual "fucking dickehead, watch it." Only, as it was a warm day, we had the windows open and so did the other driver.

So he calls out "did you call me a dickhead?"

There was now room in front of our car for h to move forward to be parallel to the other car but he showed what a coward he actually is and hung back. I could tell he was worried.

The other driver repeated his question and h stated saying "I appologise mate" a couple of times, but still wouldn't pull up next to his car.

Then the lights changed and we moved on, but I could see h was nervous about potentially ending up next to him at the next lights.


I wish the other guy had got out and really scared H. He was clearly bigger than him (h is a nasty little man, hence my namechanged for this) and like I tell ds when he worries about the nasty boys at school when bye move up to secondary this year, they won't carry on being nasty once a bigger kid has called them out on it and scared them.

Anyway, I hope he's leaned a bit of lesson a anyway, the stupid idiot.

I didn't say a thing about the incident, but of course, h had his pride dented so I got it all round the supermarket. Lots of digs and everything I said was met with distain and a nasty comment, just so he could feel like a big man again to get rid of his embarrassment (this behaviour no longer bothers me, it used to make me cry, but I am so detached from the wanker now that I no longer care what he says to me, I see him for the sad little insecure 'man' he really is).

Anyway, it keeps making me chuckle that he showed what a coward he really is today.


(And yes, I will LTB. Just biding my time to make sure ds is secure when we do).

[Walkacrossthesand]

I think OP is saving for deposit for flat, Neil, her timeline was 8 weeks so early May I guess! Here's hoping..,

[neiljames77]

Did you leave him?

[RobotLover68]

ah thanks Nauticant I'll remember that next time

[kinkyfuckery]

I hope the next 8 weeks fly by smoothly for you

[nauticant]

Sounds like a plan OP. Good luck.

Bolding does not work if there a Return operation in the text between the asterisks RobotLover68.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

He has reduced her to tears in the past with his goading and unpleasantness so no I don't feel sorry for him.

[Hulababy]

TheZeeTeam - did you read the thread? The OP says she only changed her way of thinking at Christmas. Before that she loved him, etc. But finally the OP has had enough of a man bullying her and being unpleasant to her. Surely after a while, someone constantly bullying you would make even the gentlest of people snap?

[TheZeeTeam]

To be fair to the DH, having a wife that despises you this much is hardly going to bring out the best in you, is it? This whole thread is horrible on both sides.

[RobotLover68]

sorry, don't know why the first 3 paras didn't go bold

[RobotLover68]

I decided to totally detach around Xmas. The scales finally fell from my eyes. I loved him before that, but then one day he was nasty and it was like a switched flipped in my head. I literally lost all feelings for him in a second. I never knew it could just happen like that.

It's confused him though. He keeps telling me he loves me all the time. I never say it back anymore, I just can't bring myself too. I just think how can you love someone and treat them with such nastiness and disrespect.

He's a big one for words anyway. Big words about love, emails full of I love yous and promises but no actions. I've learned finally that words are just words, they don't mean a thing, it's peoples actions and the way they treat you that count in life

LNB I could have written that about my father, you are absolutely right, detaching confuses them. My father never told me he loved me until I detached and now he doesn't stop saying it. Makes me feel sick as I know it's so false. He is also a coward and won't call me out on why I don't respond, this gives me strength as my counselling made me realise he has never confronted anything in his life. He is currently bullying my older sibling as they are not giving it back to him enough. I told them "just laugh at him, he is a silly old man who hates not being in control"

I wish you all the luck in the world OP, when you leave, come back to this thread if you need to, to remind yourself of his bullying and why you left.

I did this with my bullying ex-boss. I wrote down every grievance so that when I had a wobble I could go back and read it and remind myself why I sacked her.

[cjel]

You sound very strong and well done for not being ground down by him. Hope you have some unexpected income to boost your move.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

I've learned finally that words are just words, they don't mean a thing, it's peoples actions and the way they treat you that count in life.

Absolutely, OP, deeds not words, he is stupid enough to think you'll forget all the nasty bits for a few soppy words now and then. Hope you get that money saved up for a flat for yourself and DS soon.

[MichelloBarner]

That sounds like a plan to me. Record all his casually abusive rants and criticisms, so that when he says 'But why? What on earth did I ever do yo you to deserve this?' you can say 'Here you go. Happy listening. Bye.'

[Longdistance]

I was gonna suggest dome recording device to trap the manipulative arse.

Good luck with the next few weeks

[FetchezLaVache]

Bloody good idea there Neil.

Are you planning to let your STBXH continue to have contact with your son, OP?

[neiljames77]

Get yourself a voice recorder.(you can get one for about £10)
When you bin him off, if he's portraying himself as innocent and you as the bad guy, let everyone have a listen to how much of a turd he is.

[RandomMess]

Urgh what a nasty nasty man, even worse as he so obviously is in complete control of his behaviour as he ensures to hide it from others.

May those 8 weeks fly by and the perfect place come up to rent x

[AnyFucker]

Op, there will be people in your family or social circle who have your Dick of a husband completely sussed

Until you leave him for good though,, it is unlikely they would be sharing their contempt for him with you

[ouryve]

Glad you're making an escape plan. As he is such a bully, you need to make sure you have an emergency plan, too, as if he gets wind of the fact that you are leaving, or loses patience with you not engaging (my ex did and started spinning the most hideous paranoid tales of what the world without him would have in store for me) he could seriously turn on you and make your life very difficult. If you haven't already, leave anything and everything of value or importance with someone you can trust, in the meantime.

[TisILeclerc]

I could have written your op OP. I too thought that everyone thought we were amazing together, that he was a fabulous h. Turns out it was like the emperor's new clothes - once I left everyone said what they really thought.

You are absolutely doing the right thing. I hope these eight weeks fly for you x

[neiljames77]

He'll make sure nobody else witnesses it because he's a total coward.
I've known blokes like this and the last thing they want is confrontation with a man. Does he also belittle you and make suggestions that you're lucky to have him and nobody else would want you anyway?

[Littlenastybully]

No, my son is at his fathers every other weekend. He wasn't with us yesterday.

And no, he's never witnessed anything. No one has. All people talk about is how happy we are and how much h adores me. He's only nasty when we are alone/ds is out/asleep whatever.

[ImperialBlether]

So your son wasn't in the car? And he's never ever witnessed this man bullying you? I find it hard to believe that he only does it when you're alone. Bullies usually like an audience.

[KatieScarlett2833]

May the next couple of months fly by for you OP. I wish you all the very best in your new life away from this arsehole

[LoveBeingCantThinkOfAName]

Good luck, I'm so pleased you have seen the light and your plan is going well.