Letting go of someone you love

[SchoolyardShizz]

I just write a very long paragraph but then decided to delete it and replace with a simple question.

When you are in love with someone and them you, but know things aren't working, how do you find the strength to end it knowing that you will be heartbroken?

[sarajane231]

Wasn't finished there!

What I meant to say was I think loving someone is more than a feeling. It is also a decision. If you feel the love will hurt you...decide to let go.

It's definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I am not even sure I can actually do it...but it's a choice to disconnect.

You can waste a lot of years in a bad relationship even though the signs are staring you in the face. Just read a few MN threads to see.

I think time, space and clarity are the only things which will help you make the right decision

[ImperialBlether]

Think back to the times when you have said or thought, "Happy now?"

I remember saying this back in junior school; I felt very resentful and angry. I didn't want to do whatever it was I'd done. I didn't see why I should do it. I did whatever it was because I wanted to be able to take the moral high ground and I was fed up of the other person's moans and complaints; I didn't want the other person to be happy as a result of my doing it.

It's very, very revealing.

[something2say]

I find that if you genuinely think you need to do it and there is no way round it, them you must do it ASAP and think about other things.

Like the future.

I had a prism once. No matter how I turned it I could not get it to look how I wanted it to look. Eventually I put it down and looked elsewhere. His name began with I.

My condolences, now for your 2014 goals please?

[SchoolyardShizz]

Thank you everyone for such great comments, they are all keeping me very strong which is unusual for me!

I can't help but disagree with the bullying comments though, she usually is such a nice gentle person and level headed and comes from a lovely family. She has been hurt lots before and always said she wouldn't be nasty in a relationship. I just don't know anymore. I'm questioning everything about her now.

Things she has talked about from her past...it's all piecing together and I'm just so so confused. I really thought she was the one but how can she hurt me and talk to me like that?

[SchoolyardShizz]

I've now been told that what she is going through is a "me thing" not an "us thing" but by me addressing problems we have she is unable to snap out of this mood. Grr argh.