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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Lying cheating whoring husband

69 replies

PPaka · 09/12/2013 12:29

Marriage is a sham
He is just a pathological liar
He's saying he won't give up, wants me back
Can't live without us
Will kill himself
Meantime he's still texting some woman

I cannot believe what he has done to this family

OP posts:

Report

PointyChristmasFairyWand · 23/12/2013 20:26

Ppaka you sound so sad. This man is a loser, please allow yourself to grieve for the loss - not of him, but of the relationship you should have had - and then move on with your lovely DS.

You are a warm, intelligent woman and a caring mother and you deserve so much better. There are a lot of decent men out there.

Pilgit · 23/12/2013 18:25

Christ alive he really doesn't get it does he? He obviously doesn't know you or care about you - except the status he gets as being 'successful' at a marriage. Marriage failure just isn't in the script.

PPaka · 23/12/2013 17:23

So
He bought me a Cartier watch for Christmas

He thought that would do the trick

OP posts:

PPaka · 18/12/2013 15:37

I'm ok
At my parents now with ds, so having a nice time.
He was still insisting we could work or out and I'm not seeing any sign of him looking for a flat so I think I will have to deal with that when I get back.

Still the possibility that he could resign and/or not come back. Because he's a coward
But again I'll deal with that if it happens

I think he's probably out on the town, having great fun.

OP posts:

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 18/12/2013 07:17

How are you getting on PPaka?

LegoCaltrops · 15/12/2013 07:12

Hope you have a lovely lunch today with your DCs.

Mishmashofstyles · 15/12/2013 03:55

Sorry you are going through all this OP. Things will only get better once this man is out of your home and a smaller part of your life.

PPaka · 15/12/2013 03:35

Obviously I have extracted all the sympathy/empathy I can

Will move on now

OP posts:

PPaka · 14/12/2013 16:02

Just had ds crying because he wanted 'some family time'
He wants to wake up his daddy
I don't want him seeing him in that state

Oh shit

OP posts:

PPaka · 14/12/2013 11:23

The lunch is tomorrow
He's supposed to be looking after ds
If he lets me down I'll just take ds with me
It's only a pub lunch

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 14/12/2013 11:01

PP he is just trying to control you again. So what, if he's in self destruct mode anyway, it's no business of yours. If you ignore him you will find that he is just full of hot air.

Go for your lunch and have a lovely time. Who is going to be looking after ds?

PPaka · 14/12/2013 10:47

So he came in, wasted obviously
Said he's in 'self destruct mode'

OP posts:

PPaka · 14/12/2013 09:42

And what am I supposed to tell ds
Daddy stayed out with his friends all night?
He's just said to me, when you get in the shower, get daddy up, he thinks he's here!

OP posts:

PPaka · 14/12/2013 07:54

Time will tell I guess
Husband went out with some friends who are in town
He's still out with them, I assume in their hotel now, and still awake
Great, what sort of a state is he going to be in?
I feel like telling him to stay there, but I'm going out torriwfir my girls Xmas lunch

OP posts:

LisaMed · 14/12/2013 01:18

Father is still chasing his contemporaries. Have you any idea how embarrassing is to see the seventy plus year old ex girl friend of your father approaching at the same time as the seventy plus year old current girlfriend - both with grandchildren and purposeful expressions.

I hope that made you smile, but it's true. You are never too old to be in love (or embarrassed by your parents).

Wishing you luck!

whitsernam · 13/12/2013 23:46

You're not too old!! I know a woman who remarried at age 80, to a man age 82!!! If you love dogs, I do recommend getting one, as they are so loving and so happy always to see you when you come home. But you can't see the future from where you are right now; no one can. You have to just keep taking small steps to make your life better, and one day you will look back and see that you have indeed made it better.

PPaka · 13/12/2013 23:41

Thank you

OP posts:

Tubemole1 · 13/12/2013 22:20

PPaka · 13/12/2013 21:09

I'd never really had a relationship before dh
And now I really don't see how/where I would meet someone
And that's assuming I actually want to
Right now, I'm disgusted
Oh, and I'm too old

I think I'll just get a dog, they're loyal !

OP posts:

Aroundtheworldandback · 13/12/2013 19:50

How on earth can you say that? If only you knew how wrong you are. You simply have to accept that even though you will be more suspicious next time round before getting involved (a good thing), good things will happen to you.You will have learnt from this and make well informed, positive choices x

PPaka · 13/12/2013 19:04

Thanks, glad to hear a happy ending

I don't think another relationship is in my future

OP posts:

Aroundtheworldandback · 13/12/2013 17:42

PPaka I had to answer your post because I was you. He was a pathological lier who swore on his children's lives he wasn't having an affair, threatened to kill himself if I left him. Strangely enough, at the same time he told our dd5 "Daddy loves another mummy". So you get the picture. The hardest thing I found was the disappointment that the person I had chosen was such a bad person.

No you won't miss him at all; yes he will turn nasty. But after the nastiness and him recede into the background, be prepared to live without anxiety and fear, to look forward to every day.

10 years on I am remarried to the type of man I didn't even believe existed, and my only problem now is not taking my life for granted. Look forward to the future.

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Blossomflowers · 13/12/2013 17:14

PPaka you sound like you are doing well and keeping it together. Try and have a great weekend.

PPaka · 13/12/2013 16:47

I can actually be thankful for one thing
My heart isn't breaking
I'm not going to miss him at all

I'm astounded that he can do this. That's the struggle.
And he's going to turn nasty at some point
But I don't really care that he's going

OP posts:

Twinkleandbunty · 13/12/2013 11:15

PPaka you sound very together and brave.
When you discover something like this it shakes you to your core - I nearly went mad trying to figure out why my ex didn't want me.
But now, I actually feel sorry for the OW - she's landed herself with a selfish, tight-fisted, arrogant arsehole and she's welcome to him!
It's taken me the best part of a year to get here. And some therapy. But my god, I'm a lot happier now!
You sound as if you are cool headed and calm.
Keep posting here and stay strong.

and kick his sorry butt into next week

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