What does this mean ???

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

I've been seeing this guy but he seems to be a mass of confusion .
Every thing seemed to be going ok but suddenly he's said we're getting too close and I need some space .
How the heck can you be getting too close ?
I've left it completely and am getting on with my life but what in the hell does this mean ?

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

So they just date endless women , never getting anywhere ?
God how depressing !

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

I know it sounds awful but I think he's too damaged by his past relationships to have one now .
He jumped straight in to relationship after relationship since his wife left all of them failing and him been hurt numerous times .

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

Oh dear you've had a lucky escape in my book !
If people have so many issues I don't think they're datable to be honest lol

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

I'm sorry your going through it brokenhearted55 how long were you seeing him and what were the signs he wasn't ready ?

[mammadiggingdeep]

I think u sound ready to date too fwiw (goes back to lurking)

[HisLommel]

**Some men are cowardly twats. Not all.

[rainbowfeet]

Men are cowardly twats!!!

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

Cogito I think your right , I do think I'm ready to date I'm not sat crying over him , yes I liked him and was a bit baffled but at the end of the day it's better he's honest now .

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

I know it can be hard work lol but I do miss snuggling up and stuff sometimes .

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I think you're ready to date simply because you're not beating yourself up about this. OK, you may be a little put out by his casual departure, but I don't think you're sat by the phone, nursing a large gin, anxiously waiting for his call... I also think you do know what you want. Roughly speaking... you've been through the mill, come out the other side and would like someone to take care of you. Not be their therapist while they bleat on about needing space. (I stand to be corrected obviously :) )

[Rooners]

Thankyou, I think that was my worst foot in mouth I've done in a long time!

Anyway don't pressure yourself to find someone new just yet. The time will come. Good luck - it can be lonely on your own but it's far less hard work than dating imo!

[Ohnoitsgonewrong]

Haha rooners I know you didn't mean that at all !
I knew he had a lot going on he was very hurt after his split and he has tried to date and got hurt again in the process .
I think a lot of it is he's scared but I have to also think of myself too I'm mid divorce and my ex has got a girlfriend and its all hunky dory so I'm not without my own issues but having been separated 2 years I did feel ready to date but myself am not sure what I want ?

[Rooners]

Oh god I didn't mean that to sound like it did! You're not cheap but I'm sure you're lovely! MUST PREVIEW

[Rooners]

I do this with furniture. I see something cheap and lovely and I take it home, and can't find anywhere to put it so I have to let it go.

It doesn't mean I didn't love it. I just don't have the room for it.

However if it is really great, I will somehow find room for it by getting rid of a few other things or in extreme cases, move house

This is not so easy when you're in the middle of a divorce. He's taken too much on - let it go.

[Rooners]

I think it means he hasn't got the emotional space for you at the moment and is afraid he'll not be able to meet your (natural) demands. As in thinking about you, doing things for you etc - his mind is full of other stuff.

I think it's good he said it and good you listened.

Either he will miss you terribly, calm down and decide that he really wants you in his life, or he will not - and either way, you have done the right thing by taking the pressure off.

Don't let yourself get any more attached to him for the time being.

[HisLommel]

My DF said this to me when we met last year. He'd just gone to his first mediation meeting for his divorce and we'd met the Saturday two weeks before and we'd spent the Sat/Sun together, then apart 3 days, then together 4 days, apart 3 and together for another one when he said it.

I'm glad he said it. He was being honest. I backed off, disappointed but knew that either he would come back or I would walk away knowing he wasn't the one.

Two days later he text to say he was nervous and he was missing me. We met up 3 days later and have been inseparable since.

Trust your gut. If it's right, you'll know, if it's not, let it go.

[farrowandbawl]

Do you really want to know what I think?

I'm going to tell you.

Based on this thread and the others, I think you should give up on dating for a while..maybe even a couple of years. You are clearly attracting the wrong person and giving out the wrong messages. Concentrate on yourself and other areas of your life for a while.

If you keep doing this to yourself over and over again, you are not going to be helping your self esteem or confidence. Both are going to take a knock after each failed relationship, fling, date or whatever. Give yourself a break from it all for a while.