what does it mean if your husband is looking at gay porn?

[23possiblymore]

just that really

been together 10 years; has never should any indication that he might be gay or bi-sexual. Deletes browsing history and text messages from phone routinely

what would you make of it?

[MerryBerry1]

Hi everyone, 2 years ago I saw my partner watching gay porn,when I've asked him what is that,he said he did it on porpoise to upset me,because he knew I would check his phone. Fine,I've believed him. One year ago, I saw him accecing a swingers dating website, on which you must be registered to access. He was looking for people to have fun with. He was absolutely addicted to that website, litteraly being online every single day,when I wasn't around. I felt awful!! He said he was just courious. Massive argument. He closed down that account, but I knew he won't stop here. Now he's watching gay porn and accecing date site. I really don't know where I'm standing anymore. I understand curiosity, but not when you do it every day!!

[Keepstrong4me]

@justthat.... I personally think people can't state they are vegetarian and still eat white meat...? They're not vegetarian. Vegans eating fish and eggs aren't vegan...

[Keepstrong4me]

@knickerelastic.... I agree with you.

[knickerelastic]

@justthat ...You're gay too just in denial. As a heterosexual man, i dont look at man porn.

[knickerelastic]

Deffo Gay

[Keepstrong4me]

About 3 years ago I had a gut feeling something wasn't right. I did check my husband's laptop and found in the history for that evening was 'How to divorce my wife without her knowing" and then gay porn sites he had been looking at. The porn was quite hard core gay porn for want of a better word. I sat on the sofa and was shaking and felt sick but there was a part of me that wasn't surprised. It took me 3 weeks to approach the subject with my husband, who very calmly replied "I suppose you think I'm gay now".... I replied with "no I just don't know who you are". To cut a very long story short, I am driving divorce proceedings, not purely because of the gay porn but the years of emotional, verbal and financial abuse. I should also mention that we haven't had sex since our youngest child was conceived... he is nearly 6 years old. I do think all the above there is definitely an underlying issue he has about his sexual orientation. This has been a very lonely, isolating, loveless, sexless marriage. Would welcome your thoughts, as even though we are getting a divorce (which his is making extremely difficult and dragging out) not a day goes by without me thinking our marriage has been fake and he is in utter denial...?

[JustThat]

Apologies: I found this thread on a search by accident as I am male and was looking for something or other. I hope you don't mind me posting, but I have an opinion on this that might be of use..despite it being five years down the line since the thread started.

I am a mid-thirties male. I watch Straight and Bi-Sexual porn. Having met up with a couple of guys in the past to 'test the water', I am confident I don't fit in to the stereotype that many women would put me in. I really enjoy anal penetration. But that doesn't make someone gay. I find women attractive and don't find men attractive in the slightest. The thought of kissing a guy makes my stomach churn. Yuck! BUT, I love watching bi-threesomes where guys have sex together and with a woman and generally getting kinky.

I fantasise about being in a kinky situation and where I know how good anal penetration is, love to imagine how a guy is feeling about receiving it.

I met with a couple of guys and realised quickly that that I had no emotional attachment whatsoever and just enjoy being kinky with people. I could never date another guy. My wife and I discuss our fantasies openly because it improves our sex lives. We both get what we want out of it.

SO what i'm trying to say is, please don't simply label your man (if/when you catch him surfing dodgy porn) with being gay/bi. It could just be curiosity or him exploring fetishes/fantasies.

[hellsbellsmelons]

ZOMBIE

[mm2one]

Hi, I am a male and DH. I personally quit online pornography a while ago but I did used to watch it.

The issue with online porn sites are they host all types of porn to try to get as many visitors as possible. Sometimes if you search incorrectly or click the wrong options, you will get presented with gay porn. Usually a straight male would just fix the search and move on to whatever his prefered porn is.

In the case of this husband. If she is sure he is watching only gay porn -- then it could be thats his kink, it might not nessessarily mean he's gay, or he is gay. Its really hard to say.

You should tell your friend to find ways to make her husband be more turned on and attracted to her and then he can start to ween himself off online porn. The issues with online porn is that after a long time, it starts to have real world consequences in the bedroom.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

I think she's solved the dilemma now seeing as it was posted in 2013. It's a zombie THREAD!!

[SleepingTiger]

The only conclusion that can be reached this far is that he is interested in men having sex.

[onlyslightlyinterested]

It's absolute madness to say straight folk don't get turned on by watching gay porn! It's all about sex, not necessarily gender. I'm straight, but don't mind a gander at all sorts!

[VelvetSparkles]

Sorry, but a significant percentage of the male actors in gay porn actually identify as straight! Watching gay porn does not automatically make you gay. Sheesh!

[TDHManchester]

I dont think that viewing "gay porn" automatically makes you gay.

Why even bother with labels?

Some have said straight men wouldnt watch gay porn but then how would we know? Its a massive generalisation. Should we ask them? and what would they say? of course they would say no chance because they fear being branded a homosexual or bisexual !

[HarmlessChap]

Damn caught me out too [facepalm]

[HarmlessChap]

Basically, as has been said, straight men don't watch gay porn.

Possibly if it were pre-op M2F TS then that's slightly different as they are basically women but with a dick, but run of the mill gay porn means he's either gay or bi.

[NotReallyMeToday]

Argh! Zombie thread.

[NotReallyMeToday]

Could be bisexual. I think more guys are bi than will admit it, mostly due to the horrendous stigma.

[MadameLeBean]

Cu, read the OP's second post, a couple of posts down from the first post. The guy had been on gay dating sites - as well as deleting texts. That is not innocent.

[CuChullain]

Love the armchair psychologists making decisive judgements on this mans sexual orientation with the bare minimum of facts!

I am a bloke, I looked at gay porn a few times many years back, it was on a website which had lots of hetro porn so it was pretty easy to click on. Not sure why I did it as I don’t find men remotely sexually attractive, but I did anyway, I did not get turned on by it or have any gay fantasies as a result, maybe it was a mixture of curiously and fascination that made me visit some of those sites, I am not sure. Anyway, I soon got bored of it and never looked at the stuff again. I deleted my internet history as well, I was not living with my girlfriend then but she did use my laptop now and again and I would have felt a bit embarrassed if she had seen what I was looking at. Several years on and our relationship is as strong and as committed as ever. No doubt a few on here will conclude that I am quite clearly a repressed homosexual and advice my girlfriend to leave me immediately.

With regards to deleting phone texts, I clear out the general chit chat stuff regularly, not because I have anything to hide, but because I hate having to scroll through hundreds of texts to find important ones. No doubt to some on here that is evidence enough that I am conducting some kind of clandestine affair.