I work from home as a freelancer - it's my first work after being made redundant from my job two years ago and spending that time as a SAHM. I've currently got a really good contract that enables me to work round the kids during school hours and in the evenings. It's well paid and interesting and every day I feel so grateful that I can work and be with my kids too. I know how lucky I am.
DH is a teacher. He works long and exhausting hours, but the pay-off is that he gets the summer holidays. It's supposedly a relief for me as I can work without having to arrange child care and summer camps etc, and it means I can work a proper 8-hour day during the holidays without having to make up the time in the evenings and at weekends.
Except that every day I work he comes upstairs at least once an hour with some kind of interruption. In the past hour he has asked me if he can leave the kids while he goes to Homebase to pick up some paint, asked for help removing a bird's nest from the garden and where the sun cream is. After the last interruption I lost my rag and yelled downstairs, 'Why is my work so much less important than yours?' to which he replied calmly, "I wouldn't shout, we have a visitor", so now I feel embarrassed and a complete idiot.
I am fucking pissed off with it. It's not just the constant interruptions while I'm working at home. It's an ongoing battle of him undervaluing what I do. I keep reminding him that without this work we wouldn't have had a new bathroom, new back windows and two holidays this year - he still treats it as if it is a hobby. During the school term he returns from work expecting dinner cooked and everything done - his response if I complain is that he's at work all day. BUT WHERE DOES HE THINK I AM?
Apologies for shouting. I'm just bloody fed up with it all now. Any calm responses would be very welcome.
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Why is my work so much less important than his? Bloody fed up.
thescribbler · 19/08/2013 14:25
Hold on, your job is "well paid" and has paid for "a new bathroom, new back windows and two holidays this year" but doesn't run to £15 a week for office space? Which is tax deductable?
This.
Methinks that the OP doesn't actually want a solution, or perhaps just doesn't want to be out of the house. Lovely working at home in your pjs with the teapot and fridge within reach 
Oh.
I just can't help wondering what you thought it would cost to rent a desk elsewhere? £60 a month is £15 a week. Am surprised you thought it might be cheaper 
.
OP, the title of your thread is 'why is my work so much less important than his?'.
Virtually everything you've said on this thread indicates that, subconsciously at least, you think it is so much less important than his. And you are fortunate that - at the moment - it is a supplementary income upon which the family does not depend. But that does trivialise it to the level of a hobby. Personally I think you must have some mad skillz to have been able to get such a convenient gig and that once you are less constrained by childcare responsibilities your business could be a serious income generator.
It is extremely important, both for your self-esteem and for your children's development, that you see your job as just as important as any other job. It would appear that your DH requires some additional encouragement to see it that way too. That, to me, is worth £60/month. On top of which, I think psychologically you would see the benefit - if you 'go out' to the work, it will seem more like work to you too, and less like a well-paid hobby. You say you would only use it during school hours - your DH only uses his office during school hours (not quite true but you take my point). As he is off during every training day and holiday, you can use some of those days to retreat to the office to crack on with work. You will be more efficient and hopefully see a better work-life balance than when work is creeping into every spare hour you have. Or rather, every spare hour he has to 'let' you work
As your income is supplemental, there is very little downside to the extra expense - a month longer to wait for the next household purchase that it's funding, maybe. But it will send a very clear message that you value your work and others should too. Furthermore the opportunity to get out and meet other people will help - with networking, with having some social contact, and with reminding yourself that you are a high performing professional doing a good job.
As others have said, you are running a business. It's time for you both to start acting like it. I think your confidence has taken some knocks with being made redundant and the subtle undermining that you've both participated in since then because your main 'label' is SAHM. All your work counts just as much as his - this paid work and your work as a SAHM.
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I've worked from home fore years now, and people (not just DH) thinking I'm essentially free or at least utterly flexible, has been an ongoing problem.
Sometimes it drives me crazy. Especially when I'm on a deadline.
However, the whole point of why I love working from home is that I am, to some degree, a degree chosen by me in a ideal world, flexible. I want to be able to flit between my work and other life. But I want it to be convenient to me.
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