So, I threw my gambling ex out a few months ago. I said it might be temporary if he sorted out his habit and got some cash together. I said it would be at least a year, but we could date and see how things went. All has been going well, he tells me he's on top of the money situation and he isn't gambling. We even booked a holiday to center parcs - which I have paid for in full, along with activities, on the understanding that ex would give me a little bit towards it.
He turns up at mine tonight, in his car, slurring his speech a little. Says he has only had two pints of shandy. I don't believe him. He is a bit grandiose and arrogant, saying he has been offered a new job. Starts to open a can of beer. I stop him and ask him how he's getting home, as he's not driving and he can't stay with me. He gets aggressive.
He then says he needs £300. He had a minor bump in the car, his fault and has to pay the damages (not going through insurance). I said no - as I've paid for the holiday, I have three dcs to bring up on my own and I don't want to lend him money. He insists I had promised him. I'm sure I did not. Last month ex got £900 from a whiplash claim, so I naturally assumed he'd put some aside for this accident that he knew he'd have to pay for. I explained that I didn't mind paying for the holiday, as it was my treat for the kids, but I wasn't paying for the damage he'd caused to someone else's car.
He starts shouting and pointing his finger at me, saying I promised. He knows I have a few thousand in my account from some work I've done recently - but I worked bloody hard for that money and I'm a single mum with a house to keep. He seems to think he is entitled to it. I told him to never come back and I've asked my mum to come to Center Parcs with me. I think I'm right - even if I HAD promised to lend ex the money (which I don't remember doing) he has no right to treat me like this. He earns a good salary, but is saddled with debt. Meantime, since he left, I've never been so financially secure. I don't think that's a coincidence.
Am I in the right here? What should I do now? I'm worried he'll withdraw maintenance money out of spite.
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Relationships
Ex demanding money.
dontcallmehon · 22/07/2013 22:15
No, he doesn't really believe he has a problem and I don't believe he has sought out proper help. I've given him so many chances.
It's not the first time or even the second or third time he's lied about money. The amounts of money involved are not ridiculously huge yet (although substantial- we could cope with it if he was able to change), but it's more the deceit and the lack of trust.
I suppose I expected him to argue about the agreement, but he's just signed everything to me without question. Which is what I wanted - but it's 
.
Yes you are, don't doubt your decision because you are sad.
You can't rescue him from his addiction and you don't have to. His devastation should be the catalyst for getting his life together IN HIS OWN RIGHT but not with you as the 'prize'.
Time for you to try and move on. You can do it. 
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