I don't know where to start with this, only that I'm so close to the edge I can see the abyss.
My situation is so complicated with so many facets I can't really think straight. But here goes.
DP and I have lived together a year, I have DS 14, he has DS 8 and 5. Recently moved to council house after being given notice to quit on last private rental - had only been there a year.
DSS's have been sexually abused by mother's ex-partner. Police investigation now concluded, waiting for it to go to court. Accused is convicted offender already, mother knew this. Mother took caution for neglect.
DSS's have BIG behaviour issues and possible SN (under assessment). Both on IEPs and under Child In Need orders. Cannot get counselling for them until case has been to court (poss disclosure issues).
DS 14 has now clashed with DP. DS came in late Thursday night, I had a go, DP intervened when DS got nasty. DS grabbed DP by throat, DP called police. DS accepted a caution.
DS is a "school refuser". Attendance currently under 50%. I am working with school, TAC meetings in place. CAMHS involved, but DS won't engage. DS's father will not have anything to do with him, he is "too ashamed".
Have just concluded long court battle with DP's parents who did not like him moving in with me and tried to get joint residency. They failed. They have weekly phone contact (Fridays) and fortnightly letters with the boys.
DSS's have fortnightly visits (supervised by me/DP) with their mum. Sometimes, like today, their Mum's parents come too. They also have to be supervised as they were classed as having been groomed. They are all here today.
DP does not work (many reasons), I'm a home carer and work about 30 hours. I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, bill-paying, admin, organisation, homework, reading. Absolutely everything. I write all the letters, deal with all the legal stuff. I even pay his ex maintenance out of my bank account for his other 2 boys, who he can't see at the moment. His ex has a new bf and won't allow him in the house (yet another story). DP is on JSA and is going on a course that should get him back to work. He sits on the lap top ALL DAY every day. Between work, running the house, meetings for children, court and more, I have NO TIME. I'm shattered.
I'm behind with bills, I work my tits off and I get no help. DP is depressed and on ADs. My relationships with my son, family and friends are suffering. I went to the doctor yesterday and got diazepam. Already on ADs myself and have another appointment monday.
I've had enough. I rang work and took the weekend off. Never done that.
I'm the one holding it all together. I think I'm going to break.
Thank you for reading, sorry it's so long, I am grateful. If anyone can help me make sense of it all...?
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Close to breaking point (long and complex) help please
BumpingFuglies · 18/05/2013 11:49
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
You're not defeated. You're are doing everything you need to be doing, even though it's hard.
In the morning we'll write a list of the things that you can do to ease the stress and get things moving.
Where abouts are you? Maybe you need some more rl help.
Thinking of you 
He did say he might leave today 
What a total fucking mess.
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