WANKER Sti testing

[currentlyconfuseddotcom]

I was with someone for a very very long time and he told me whilst we were together that if he cheated then he would not let me know. He would not tell me.

We split up, I go for Sti testing (neg) and let him know because it IS important and the clinic said to let him know. Now he is questioning why I did that and being insultive. This makes me so mad.

[AnyFucker]

thank gawd for that

[pinkyredrose]

BOO yes was having a joke!

[Booyhoo]

sorry. not on OP's behalf. at OP's expense is what i meant there.

[Booyhoo]

i think pinky was having a joke on OP's behalf with that one. as in "i always tell ex lovers my sti results- it's completely normal dontcha know" sort of thing.

could be wrong though and pinky might just be odd.

[AnyFucker]

pinky, isn't that arse-roads about ?

don't you share a negative STI test with prospective lovers ?

it's a bit bloody late to wait until after the deed has been done, isn't it ?

[pinkyredrose]

I always call all my ex lovers and share my negative STI results. Sometimes it ends in a rant and sometimes we have a good laugh about it.

I thought that was normal? Admittedly it does take me a few days to phone them all.

[Booyhoo]

i think some people just need to have drama. so create it.

[ilovechips]

I work in a GUM clinic and would never advise people to communicate negative results like that - just because one partner is clear it doesn't mean the other one is, and communicating the negative results could result in a false sense of security. I always advise that both partners are tested.

[Kione]

Clinics only ask to get in contact if results are positive.
I find the OPost weird or the OP didn't understand correctly.

[RootinTootin]

Is it just me or does the OP sound almost disappointed she doesnt have an sti as it means she can't use it as a stick to beat her ex with?

[AnyFucker]

Plenty of weird posters around. as ever

[Lweji]

The clinic just wanted to have another client...

[Lweji]

thinking of emailing twat ex just to tell him that my two tests in the last year have been clear of STIs just to mess with his head and get another handful of emails to take to the police

[Booyhoo]

But why would op even need to leave him a message yo get checked out? If her test showed something then yes, obviously she should let him know but his sexual health isnt Ops responsibility. Only he knows wether hes been shagging about unprotected so its up to him To get tested. The fact that op decided to get tested doesnt suddenly mean he is more likely to have something. Odd logic if it is what the clinic advised but i still think you've misunderstood.

[Buzzardbird]

Think I would have been more inclined to leave a message saying that you had been to clinic and he needed to make an appointment asap.

Just because you are clear doesn't mean he is and the worry may have done him good.

[RootinTootin]

I can see why you would be furious at a guy who did not give you an sti.

It makes perfect sense.

[AuntieStella]

"they did ask if I could get in contact with him about it"

Before or after results? I think there's been a misunderstanding here. They really want you to be able to tell if you have an STI, to limit spread. It isn't necessary for an all clear, and I think you've over interpreted a pre-test standard question.

At least you never have to talk to him again.

[AnyFucker]

A bit bored, cron ?

[Madamecastafiore]

If someone said to me 'IF I cheat' that would be the nail in the coffin. FFS he may as well have said when. Why did you not dump someone there and then who was basically saying they may not be faithful to you.

As for telling him? Why? Nothing to be gained by either of you. You didn't have anything so should have just been glad about that and gone on your merry way.

[cronullansw]

Hello, congratulations - you haven't won the lottery.

Huh? Then op had a half hour rant at the fuckwit for not giving her a disease he didn't have.

I'm even more confused than normal........ (hey AF, here's your chance to drop in another personal insult, you have this one for free.)

[AnyFucker]

[currentlyconfuseddotcom]

Yes, they are - I guess it only makes sense in retrospect though, e.g. if you tested positive for something then they might make a correlation between behaviour and contracting something.

It's still a little distressing though, to be questioned about your bumsex habits!!

[AnyFucker]

Some of those questions are classed as "high risk" for contracting an STI.

[currentlyconfuseddotcom]

Booy to be fair they said to let him know if anything was negative. I thought it was a good idea to let him know it was clear, but they did ask if I could get in contact with him about it.

They also ask if you have bumsex/have ever slept with anyone from another country/slept with anyone bisexual yada yada. I wasn't expecting those questions. Why do they need to know?

I have had 3 long term boyfriends and I have always, always got tested after them. I don't understand why (it seems) men don't automatically go and do this? It's a few minutes and can save a lot of long term pain.