this is my first post.ive been reading other posts and getting strength from them.i dont have anyone to talk to ill try not to be too long winded
im on my 2nd marriage dh,10years together 3 years married.i have 3 children 1 last one his.he is on his 2nd marriage too has ds from 1st marriage.he was a
always difficult,realised after a few years of being completely in the dark about this type of behaviour that i was being completely controlled by him.
if i went out on my own silence for days if i disagreed with him in any way told i was not normal and mentallly unwell.got pregnant 4 years ago had child.dh told me he didnt want it(we wernt married at the time and not living together) if i didnt have an abortion he would leave me whch he did for a short time. i refused and he eventually came back.(he offered to pay half for the abortion by the way once i didnt go in on a wednesday which is his access day for his ds from 1st marriage)..
he did up his own house and we moved in there away fom my house and family. the abuse escalated,days of silent treatment telling me i was no use to him i was weak and a moron.the first day out of hospital after coming home from hospital after ceasaian section to give birth to our ds,he left me with 4 kids (including his my step son)and told me to get on with it.he moved into the spare room and stayed there,i left after 3months with my 3 kids.he persuaded me to come back which i did for another year of torture when vieventually i got a barring order against him(the day before our marriage he beat me round the house in front of the kids).
but im back again the twat i am.he just worked on me day and night telling me our future was with him and id ruined thekids future by leaving.of course now im back its worse.im 'mental',a nut job, a weirdo, an unfit mother , and a cun.constantly,i found a will that he has made a month ago leaving all to his 2 kids and leaving me £100!
i used to run a home an au pair have a good job well educated lots of freinds and family support before i met him.i have none of this now.family and freinds hate him so no support there.i also manged my finances ok.i now have £14 in my purse to last 10 days.he has £140 k in his bank account alone according to a bank staement i found..sorry i could go on forever..v long winded...theres so much..im simply trapped here and wondering how do i put in the next 10 years till the kids have left and i can go...
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Relationships
trapped in an ea relationship..no way out..
olivia42 · 02/04/2013 08:33
ps, and because I do understand, I'm going to keep going here! 
Even if he were a nice guy and obviously he's not, you'd still be entitled to leave him. I'm sure he will subject you to his own brand of court case where he's the cross-examining barrister, undermining your reasons for wanting to leave him.
So, don't say I want to leave you because you show me no respect he'll just say, oh you're so sensitive
whatever reason you give for leaving he will discredit your reaction to that. So it's pointless. Just stick to 'I' statements
.
I want to leave you. I don't want this relationship. I don't love you. I am happier away from you.
I know our instinct is to sugar coat that. But it's important that you don't try to sugarcoat it because these blunt harsh statements are the only ones that can't be argued with and can't be discredited.
I would leave FIRST though, get yourself to safety and then tell him that you don't want the relationship any more, you don't love him, it's over and he can consider himself single now.
No matter what he tells people, just hold on to this most people will understand that you have the right to leave a relationship that made you unhappy. Nobody else will judge you for leaving him. Most people will just shrug. Nobody else is going to think you are an evil lazy wicked hysterical chaotic fool for leaving him.
OP, You deserve to be happy and live in peace with your children. Your H sounds like a right evil bastard. My XP was just like him, iv lost count of the times iv been called a cunt. It cut me like a knife every time. I felt humiliated and disgusted with him.
He used to control what I wore and check how many miles id driven in the car. He was violent towards me, while pregnant too, but what destroyed me most was the mind games.
You can break free OP there are ladies (and gents) on here that feel your pain and understand because they have been here.
I left XP the day he threatened to throw boiling water over me. Iv not shed a tear. He is a pathetic inadequate piece of work.
Please start making your exit plan, you know its for the best.
How the fuck dare he grind you down to this level, the utter bastard.
I bet you are really hard working, intelligent and attractive.
He has conditioned you to question yourself 
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