Bit long winded but my husband had an affair which I found out about a year ago. I'd warned him that I was uncomfortable with how close he was getting to a work colleague and he just told me not to be daft about 5 months before I found out. Anyway, I was suspicious and read his phone. He told me that they never had sex just fooled around and that he didn't know why he'd done it he was just struggling with our changed circumstances.
We had recently had a child and when she was 8 months old I accidentally got pregnant. I had antenatal depression during both pregnancies and I'm generally unwell during pregnancy so I'm not the easiest person to live with but instead of trying to sort out our problems he started the affair -I was 4 months pregnant at the time. To add to my problems he has made no secret of the fact that he finds my body completely unattractive when pregnant so wont have sex.
Anyway, my second child is now 9 months old and we still haven't had sex. He says he's having performance issues but I'm not sure I believe him. I'm really struggling to believe that it's him and that its not just that he finds me completely unattractive. I am back to my pre pregnancy weight, make sure that if we go out I always make an effort with my appearance. He says he will go and see some kind of sexual counsellor with me but I really feel like its just me he doesn't want no matter how many times he tells me that's not the case.
I don't know if I'm just being stupid and he's just playing me for a fool or if there really is some other issue.
The other problem is that I actually need to have sex and cannot stay in a relationship where that just isn't an option. I don't want to have an affair especially as I know how that feels. i just don't know what to do.
Other than this things between us have been really good and we've talked through the issues that we had when he had the affair and resolved most of them. This is the only problem. He's also a great dad and really does do his fair share so I feel as though I'm being selfish making such a big deal out of what is only one part of a good relationship.
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Relationships
His affair and no sex - am I being stupid?
louisianna · 22/02/2013 21:21
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