Is there any point to counselling? In my situation, I mean. And if not, how do I phrase it without sounding obstructive?

[snowshapes]

One month ago, I initiated a separation with my husband after 3 years of marriage, six years together, because I was unhappy, he in retrospect was controlling, he was ? I think ? acting in a bullying manner with my DD (from previous marriage, yes, I am not good at the marriage thing), well, there is no ?I think? about it, he pushed her in an argument, commented when I spent money on things for her, bullied her if she didn?t do what he said, in fact it was this behaviour which tipped me over the edge to ending it. There were some kind and helpful words of wisdom on here, which I appreciated.

The problem is that he doesn?t see it as over. He came to pick up DS to take him out today and wants to try counselling. I don?t see any way I can let him back into the house, so what is the point of counselling? I feel anxious when I know he is coming to see DS, how can I sit in a room for an hour and discuss what went wrong? Today, at pick up ? which was not at the house ? he wanted to kiss me, I said no, he put his arms around me and did so anyway, all the while saying how difficult it was, etc. I mean, he put his arms right around me, all the way around my back as my coat was open. I feel like any boundaries I set he will ignore, he tried to override my suggestion that we did not meet at the house today, using DS as a pretext and so on, I had to reiterate it a couple of times. How can we possibly sort this out? I literally feel like something is twisting inside me. Please tell me I am not overreacting. What can I say to him? He is out with DS, who adores him.

[Lueji]

The kissing - yes, I read that back and thought maybe I was being a bit melodramatic

No, you weren't. It was to intimidate you and it as a sexual assault, because you had said no.

You are very right not to want to meet him anywhere private, only in public.
Please do not let him in the house again, or see him without witnesses.

If in public, scream for help if he tries it on again, and report it to the police.

And yes, don't have conversations with him. Not likely to lead anywhere, are they?

[SolidGoldBrass]

Snowshapes: OK, appreciate you have to physically hand DS over at the moment, but he will soon be big enough to walk out of the door by himself... IN the meantime, use the broken record technique with the XP - 'There is nothing to discuss, the marriage is over' and 'Don't touch me'. And turn your back, walk away, put the phone down etc. ANy increase in aggression can be reported to the police. You do have the right to disengage from this man and ignore him. Best of luck.