Worried about DH's health and lifestyle

[CrispsCrispsCrisps]

I have been on Mumsnet for a while but tend not to start threads. This time I feel I need advice. Sorry, but this is long.

My DH is 33 and has a busy, pressurised job. Pressurised mainly because he doesn't like what he does mainly due to the amount of workload and person he works for. He is a professional and the option of moving roles isn't an option due to having a vested interest in the business. His way of relaxing is by having a beer and eating junk or rich food.

Our DS is 10 months old and is our first. I have never been big on exercise but for energy and health and to know my son will have a healthy Mum I will make time to get to the gym and eat healthy. For a few years now I've battled to get DH to think the same way.

DH has no desire to live a healthy lifestyle. If given the option of any meal he would pick a pizza or kebab and relaxation for him means having a drink. I've asked him to try and only drink on weekends because I feel there is no need to have beer during the week. Yet this week he has had cans every night apart from Tuesday and it is usually 3-4. There is a history of high cholesterol in his family and his Father passed away at a relatively young age. Checking DH's health usually means having a guilt trip argument with me followed by me making him a docs appt to have his bloods checked. In 2010 his cholesterol was over 9 points and a year later went down to over 6 points but only due to me making changes to his diet. This usually means a daily battle to add fruit to his lunchbox, cut out junk and request he limits his alcohol intake. In the last 4 wks there have probably been 4 kebabs eaten and pizza possibly 4 times. There is a list of veg he won't eat, fruit he doesn't like and so on. I have foods I dislike but will eat for my health but as an example if I make two veg with a meal he whinges.

We have a treadmill which he last used in June. He says there is no time. I believe time can be made by waking up earlier, having a run before bed etc but each time I bring it up we have an argument.

Some of his clothes have become tight but he will insist they were a slim fit anyway yet it's more a case of the top button on his shirt not fastening due to his neck being fat. This has also lead to him snoring loads at night. His blood pressure is high too.

The reason I'm posting is because it worries me that he won't be around long enough and won't have the energy to be a fit and healthy dad who can run around with DH. I'm at the end of my tether and just cannot keep having the same battles about not drinking in the week and asking him to try be healthy. I'm worried sick about his health because I know heart disease and high cholesterol is in his blood. His brothers are aware of the history in his family and have made lifestyle changes by eating healthy, running and cycling but DH just won't try. He says he has no time and we end up bickering.

Please don't advise me to just leave it because I can't. I cannot sit back and let him destroy his body at such a young age.

Does anyone have any advice? Do I have reason to be worried?

[HappyGirlNow]

and I do hide veg in different meals

I thought you were talking about your child not your husband here?! Honestly? He's an adult and makes his own choices and all the nagging from you (however well-intentioned) can only be counter-productive..

[wheredidiputit]

You can't make him change unless he wants to.

He sounds like my DH. He was 40 drank far to much, ate very badly or not eating anything but dinner each day. I nag him and nagged him and nothing changed.

So although I cook healthy meals because he didn't eat properly it didn't matter.

On the plus side he got a cold last year which went to his chest and he ended up at the doctors. He was diagnosed with high blood pressure, cholesterol and type 2 diabetes. It really shocked him but on the plus side he takes his tablets (water, blood pressure, statins and metformine (sp). He has stopped drinking everyday only goes out on a friday now. Eats 3 meals a day and goes to the gym 2 or 3 times a week. He lost 3 stone and is so much happier in himself has far more energy to do things with the DC.