I really need some kind or wise words, first time in 7 years on MN!!
I know the perils of looking up old flames on Facebook etc, but found myself at a low ebb last night for all sorts of reasons . I randomly googled my first love from 17 years ago, could not believe it I found a link to his Facebook page, I just can not explain how it has affected me (negatively)'
We met when I was v early twenties and he was a decade older, he was an incredibly compelling, intriguing and attractive man and I was a fairly innocent but headstrong young woman with so many hopes and plans for my life
We had an incredible year long love affair, he was and remains the most fantastic lover I have ever had and I have never loved anyone as much as him, ever.
I gave everything to him, body mind and spirit and it ended when he confided he had slept with another woman. he begged me to forgive him but I couldn't and I left him. a few months later I left the city we were living in to peruse a 'new' life in London.
My new life was not what I had planned and I had a nervous breakdown (debt, attempted rape amonstvall sorts of things) and was very ill for a long time after although I did manage to qualify in my chosen field and eventually started to get over him (it took years and years)
I have thought of him often over the years and have occasionally looked him up on the internet, never found anything before so imagine my shock to see his (much older!) face staring out of the page at me!!!
What makes it worse is that he has been married for years and years to what seems to be a fantastic woman, won't go into details for obvious reasons but she is everything a man would want and more, a beautiful high achiever, they have an idyllic country life with beautiful kids and she does a high profile, high level job plus loads of charity work.
it has just brought into focus all of my regrets, lost dreams and sadness over my own life and I am really struggling today......any hand holding or advice much appreciated.
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please help me wise mumsnetters, in turmoil have 'found' first love on Facebook
18 replies
dutchholidaygirl · 11/10/2012 19:25
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ArterialSpurtMonkey ·
11/10/2012 22:25
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ArterialSpurtMonkey ·
11/10/2012 19:52
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ArterialSpurtMonkey ·
11/10/2012 19:45
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