"Does every sentence have to have sausages in it?!!"

[CuttedUpPear]

As said to Tom by Kirsty today. Classic!
This is my Archers thread. Tie em all up in here folks.

[SenoritaViva]

All those cricket DVDs made me laugh

[HearMyRoar]

I know tall, I am planning on playing that bit to my 1 year old dd. Clearly nobody has told her this before

[TallGiraffe]

"when will Bethany start sleeping through the night?"

"In the next couple of months"

Pah! Pah! In the next couple of years. If all babies sleep through the night at 3 months old, I'd like my money back on mine - I must have a faulty one!

[CuttedUpPear]

Oh yes - Why has Hellin come back? Although hearing her say "And to think I used to be so judgemental about parents of toddlers" was almost with the pain.

[TallGiraffe]

Grendel - but it's ok, he has the magic Ambridge coma which means he'll be home in a week watching cricket DVDs!

[GrendelsMum]

re. Ian - it's actually a tragic story.

He was so distraught at no longer being Helen's official "best friend with whom she has nothing in common" that he attempted suicide by surfeit of gourmet non-organic pork-based ready-meal hampers.

He's currently in a coma at Borchester General, and Adam is sitting by his side, too distraught to speak. Jenny hasn't noticed as she's too het up about paint colours for Brian's study.

[CuttedUpPear]

You would think that Adam would have made a god but bemused sounding board for Lillian in her current ménage a trois.
I think they are just on their six week leave...

Can't wait for a good Tom n Brenda showdown!

[Lilymaid]

"Gourmet Foods" oxymoron - when it is a frozen meal and the contents will not even be "Bridge Farm organic".
But Tom is cruising for a bruising with Brenda so his ambitious plans may be scuppered.

[minkembra]

at speculation about the quality of Tom's sausage.

What on earth has happened to Adam and Ian? Have they moved? I miss chunks of TA every now and again and what with the fast moving plot line ...

[CuttedUpPear]

Well they do have a 'comment is free' section - perhaps the issue could be (ahem) raised there?

[GrendelsMum]

I'm a little disappointed. I'd thought the Guardian was taking an interest in the dimensions of Tom's meat and two veg boxes.

[CuttedUpPear]

At last - a weighty publication takes an interest

[PrincessFiorimonde]

Yes, Kirsty has a lovely voice.

And too true, Brenda is about to become a hopeless drunk. (With apologies to alcoholics everywhere - I feel that TA may not handle this well.) And, btw, I agree with whoever on another thread asked what on earth is a person of her age doing with a name like that. Did Mike and Betty have no shame?

And Elona is just one great whinger. How can she and Darrell afford Easter eggs for the girls, indeed? FFS.

[Ambridge]

Songbird

But seriously, how could anyone put up with Tom? He seems to have zero interest in anything but his ruddy sausages and his utterly tedious ready meals. Who has the money to buy these pork-based hampers anyway? Or, indeed, the inclination?

Brenda ought to shove his artisan burgers where the sun don't shine, and scarper. I'm not holding out any hopes, though.

[Songbird]

They don't call him the Sausage King for nothing, you know

[CuttedUpPear]

Love the way Brenda is turning to The Drink in an effort to put up with Tom.
And Elana last night - I hadn't realised how awfully whingey she is til now.

[GrendelsMum]

I've unilaterally decided that Silvery is right, and that Tom is the most amazing shag anyone has ever had, and well worth listening to him talk about sausages for the other 23 hours a day.

[TheSilveryPussycat]

Well I could see the positives for Tom - but what would Kirsty get out of the relationship? Twas the only thing that occurred

[CuttedUpPear]

Gosh Silvery you're really thinking outside of the SW's remit there!

[TheSilveryPussycat]

I think Tom and Kirsty should get back together. She is just what he needs - and maybe he is good in bed?

[CuttedUpPear]

How come Kirsty is perpetually single? From her lovely husky voice, she sounds like the sexiest thing to ever hit Borsetshire!

Chris the zombie as other people have pointed out, another living dead walking the streets of Ambridge.

[stealthsquiggle]

Go Kirsty (not that Tom will take any notice).

They appear to have forgotten about Chris. Do you think they are still arguing about whether to bump him off or not?

[heronsfly]

I think David and Ruthie should show Pip the Door (and hide the keys to Rickyard cottage ),but, I'm also enjoying Pip being normal for once.

[Bluestocking]

I'm a bit worried by Brian's paint choices of Plover and Graphite for his study. I'm pretty sure they're not Farrow and Ball.