Old, or super-modern & stylish.
Must have parking. Awful memories of struggling up long flights of steps and rambling lanes with half a ton of luggage after a long drive.
I want to be able to walk to a beach.
Village or nice part of town. I want shops and a pub.
Any kind of garden, as long as it's sittable-in.
Downstairs bathroom acceptable. Multiple bathrooms better.
I insist on enough bedrooms. Sleeping on sofas isn't a proper holiday.
The interior should be 'stylish' but that can mean bashed-up furniture nearly as old as the house! Must be comfortable, adequate, and not cluttered. I once stayed at a homely old cottage where you had to turn sideways to get between the bits; very irritating!
Must have more, better, appliances and kitchen equipment that we might deem necessary at home. I am NOT spending a holiday up to my elbows in dishwater, whining about laundry or chopping veg with a dinner knife.
Working landline and wifi.
Working heating. One woodburner doesn't heat a house. Electric blankets good, too, or hot water bottles.
Floors you can walk on! You can't have a relaxed beach or hiking holiday if you're constantly fretting about marking the bloody cream carpets.
Towels, nice bedlinen (not nylon!) and spares of them all.
All the above is informed by past frustrations ... best ever was a top-of-the-range ski lodge, which had state-of-the-art everything and underfloor heating. The built-in chef didn't hurt, either 
Next best was a Welsh cottage: average in every respect, but incredibly well thought out for guests' ease & comfort :)
Have a nice holiday!