Received a letter from new school about DS absenses.

[angelcake99]

Ds has only been in his new reception class 5 weeks, and in that time he has been ill 3 times. I kept him off for a two day periods because he had a sky high temperature and was dizzy and sick. the other period of sickness was flu with a raging temp and then viral conjunctivitis.
I phone school every day to tell them and sent him back with letters fully explaining why he had been absent.

Now I have received a letter from the Headteacher asking me to see him as the Education Welfare Officer has flagged us up as Ds was off a monday and a tuesday of different weeks. i am stunned that this has been noted so early on in the year. Does anyone else have experience of this?

I'm really quite narked about it, because my son has picked up everything going since he has attended this nursery and school, I have an appointment next week what should I say?
Getting worked up about it

[Twintummy]

Oh and I was flabbergasted last week. DD was sent home as she was sick in the playground (loads of horrible sick bugs going around). I kept her off the next day and I got a snotty message asking why I hadn't rung in and reported her absence. I had presumed that as they had called me to collect her early as she was sick I didn't need to ring in!

[Twintummy]

It's standard. I had the same in July but I was furious as my DD has a serious heart condition and she was kept off with suspected swine flu (very dangerous for her) and I couldn't believe I received a letter about her absence. I complained to the head in the meeting as my DD rarely misses school for her heart condition and does amazingly well despite having such a serious condition. Some common sense should be applied to standard procedures sometimes.

[underpaidandoverworked]

My ds started reception this year and, though I am a cm and he has mixed with children of all ages for the past 4years, he has been ill twice already this term - first time good old sickness n 'sh..s' and second raging temp and hallucinations. Second time I rang in it was pointed out he'd only just gone back - so I offered to take him in and for them to take the risk that -

[a] he would pass the bug on to pupils and staff

[b] he would be poorly while there and they would have to send him home amyway.

They soon agreed that mummy knew best. I understand that schools have 'targets' for sickness and absences but if a child is ill then they should be at home with a parent or carer, not at school infecting others and being miserable. My daughters both went to the same school and they know I wouldn't keep a child home unnecessarily, maybe it was the way it was said that offended me - who knows.

[madamearcati]

I think I would feel a bit annoyed to be honest but I think it is just a bureaucratic procedure that has to be followed to show that they have followed up on the EWOs comments.

[angelcake99]

well I am surprised at how much debate my post has caused. It wasn't intended to pick holes in the school system, and I am very pleased that checks are in place to monitor children. But in my ignorance I was a bit peeved that I was being checked up on after only 5 weeks. But, I can see why this happens, I just feel like I am guilty before proving myself as totally innocent, a sign of the times.
My Ds school is very good and I am very happy with it, I am pretty sure that once I have spoken to the head I will be re-assured as will they.

[Feenie]

I meant that the school are doing the exact opposite of alienating parents, in this instance.

I hope I never have the misfortune to work for/send my kids to a school where your dc's head works, cory.

[Feenie]

Thanks for answering, katiestar. You have indeed been cryptic! I still find your comments strange, coming from an 'educational professional' though - the school are doing the exact opposite.

I can speak as both a parent and a teacher here - my ds has been ill twice in the last 4 weeks. If nursery were to ask me about these illnesses, I would assume that they were doing their job correctly in ensuring my child was protected, and also taking the opportunity to get to know me as a fairly new parent who, as a full time working mother, doesn't get to speak to them very often.

As a full time working mother, taking two lots of time off from my class and then succombing to the second illness (vile d and v bug), I just feel flaky, however - now that I've stopped feeling sick.

[katiestar]

Feeney _ i feel like I am avoiding your question.The answer is that i work in one part time capacity in a school but I am training for another position which will be working with pupils in lots of different schools in another educational professionl.It sounds cryptic but if I said what they both were , anyone who knew me in RL would recognise me.
My comments above are from the perspective as a parent at a very small village school where families and staff know each other well in many cases being friends and neighbours and I think everyone would know if a child was a persistent non-attender.
I realise that that is not everyone's situation but the OP has thoroughly explained to the school why her DC has missed school.He is in the first few weeks of reception ,so it's not like he has missed differential calculus .He doesn't even have to be there FGS .I defy any parent not to feel miffed in such a situation.
It really is not good for anyone when a school alienates parents.

[fircone]

What I don't understand is authorised and unauthorised absence.

Dd's school says it allows 10 days authorised absence for the purpose of family holidays. Yet dd is off one day for sickness last week and a stern note arrives from the head saying the EWO is monitoring her because of her attendance last year. She wasn't off very much last year, either, just a couple of colds.

If the school is worried about absence rates, why not pick on those who persistently take holidays in term time?

[piscesmoon]

'presumably the mother would be sober for the meeting and nothing untoward would be noted.'

Presumably she would, but at least the Head would be making the effort to get to know her.
I'm sorry that you had a difficult Head cory, it will happen-they are individuals, however I think that you are entirely correct when you say:

'At this stage it's just the standard letter and no doubt will pass with an explanation.'

I keep saying-it is purely an administrative issue-nothing to get upset or aggressive about.

[cory]

"It's all about protecting children,"

Depends on the school. When my dd's chronic health problems caused a high absence rate, I provided the school with letters from the GP, the school doctor, the paediatrician, the local hospital, all explaining that this was inevitable and asking the school to be understanding. This did not stop the headteacher from continuously harrassing us, calling in Social Services to question our parenting (they gave him a funny look and went away), and constantly making snide comments. I had to endure endless lectures from the EWO on the importance of education- particularly galling as I work in higher education and she seemed semi-literate (had to have my help to fill in her own forms and couldn't write intelligible minutes). I kept repeating that dd is ill and the importance of education cannot change this. Made no impact.

In the end head let slip that he hoped dd would leave and go somewhere else. He suggested special school. Only special school around here is for children with extreme learning difficulties: dd is G&T. Obviously his attendance record was more important to him than care for the actual child.

This went on until head retired early due to health reasons.

This is NOT to say that I think the OP should feel accused or get angry. At this stage it's just the standard letter and no doubt will pass with an explanation.

Just felt I wanted to point out that it is not always a case of reasonable schools and unreasonable parents.

[Feenie]

But the more you got to know her, the more you may be able to notice anything untoward, or start build the foundations of a strong home/school relationship, which could only help any child in the long run, whether they were at risk or no.

Sheesh. And MNers people accuse teachers of being defensive!

[juuule]

"When his mother is sober she can write a good letter"

presumably the mother would be sober for the meeting and nothing untoward would be noted.

[Goblinchild]

We have a problem with some mothers whose child occasionally decides that they don't want to go to school today and the parent says 'OK' either because they can't face another argument or because they're only a baby and one day doesn't matter.
I've also had children delivered in pjs!

[piscesmoon]

I suppose that I shouldn't be surprised Goblinchild! My family always accuse me of seeing the world through rose tinted glasses and I always try and see the best!
If I take them off-no I'm not surprised but I am saddened that a very simple letter asking for someone to come in and discuss above average absences can cause so much aggression.
I know someone whose sister is an alcoholic-her poor little 5 yr old has to fend for himself a lot while his mother is 'out of it'. When his mother is sober she can write a good letter-she is in intelligent woman-I would think that it was in the interests of her DC for the school to know.
It is sensible for the Head to get to know OP. Is she supposed to say to the EWO 'I don't know the parent but I have no intention of meeting her and asking about the absences, it is entirely her business'. I would think that she wasn't doing her job.

[Feenie]

But I am amazed that someone who works in a school could be hostile and suspicious over this issue - I have asked katiestar on several occasions in what capacity she works in school, as I find this very odd.

[Tombliboobs]

Goblinchild

[Goblinchild]

picesemoon, you are surprised that parents can be aggressive, hostile and suspicious at anything they feel is calling their parenting skills into question?
Or they don't realise that that sort of response is how come social workers are turned away and never see the child they went to check on?
Or that they feel explaining something carefully and clearly is patronising and treating them like idiots?

God, you make me feel old, I've been in this game waaay to long. No. I'm not in the least bit surprised.

[SparklyGothKat]

we got a letter last year saying the EWO would be looking at DD2's absences as she had had 5 days off in a term. She had been ill twice and had 2 days and 3 days off. I was shocked as it was illness but understand why they did it

But for the last term she had 100% attendant

[Tombliboobs]

Once again, I agree with Pisces, fine to have a moan and a grumble if the OP went to a school and was given a verbal lashing for something that was unavoidable, but as Pisces says, it will be a quick word, OP will say what has happened and that is it. Where's the angst in that?

Whatever happened to home and school working together?

[mrz]

As Feenie says "safeguarding" is the current OFSTED "hot potato" for schools and they must investigate whether they have concerns about the child's safety or not as it is part of their duty of care.

[piscesmoon]

You are all reading far too much into it! It is a simple administrative matter. The EWO has flagged it up and the Head is obliged to look into it. She will have a quick word and no doubt see that OP is a sensible parent and it is just unfortunate that her DC has picked up everything going, as they do when they start school. No one is accusing her of lying.
I am amazed at how frightened some people seem to be of what they consider authority and how defensive and aggressive. It wouldn't have occurred to me, I would just have popped into the Head and said 'sorry we have such a bad start-hope his immune system will toughen up soon!

[bellissima]

My daughter is asthmatic, and picks up every cold going. She's already been off a couple of times this term. But - interestingly - a letter went out from the Head last week saying that a number of children had been in with bad colds and fever when they really shouldn't have, and imploring parents to keep sick children off school. I'm really glad she did this - it makes me incredibly angry when I go at pick up time and hear some child coughing their guts out and infecting the vulnerable. Those parents should be chased up if anyone is - particularly in the current (swine flu) climate.

[Feenie]

But it comes in the first instance from the EWO, juuule. The school have to be seen as addressing it, if he/she has highlighted it as an issue already.

How else do you propose the school do this - other than a friendly chat which puts a name to a face?

[juuule]

"It's all about protecting children,"

I'm not entirely convinced of that. I think it's more to do with

"Ofsted will judge them on their attendance and how they deal with absence rates."

It's 5 weeks into the term with an under-5. Most people know that children are prone to picking up bugs when they start nursery/school. Surely it would be better to wait until half-term. And what would the meeting achieve apart from the head maybe deciding on appearances what type of person the parent was.
I still think it's probably a meeting to guilt trip the parent for the absences. Which is possibly fine if it's an on-going thing but - after 5 weeks? with notes and phone-calls to keep school informed?

mmrred -"It's always irritating to be spoken to like an idiot, but get used to it, schools don't seem to know how not to talk to parents like idiots"

Have to say that I've had this experience quite a few times (more often than not).