Just to cheer me up, tell me some polite but scathing comments in your dc's reports. . .

[Takver]

and those with well behaved, competent and academically successful children, just for today please, post elsewhere!
From dd's report:
x can concentrate for long periods of time - on topics that she is interested in
x has the potential to do very well in school . . .

usually behaves well in class
whenhas listened well.....
*has made some progress in reading and writing this year.
He enjoys active lessons and this is where he makes most progress....ahh well just back from sports day where he won 3 races(active lesson then?)

Oh, and I forgot

when x is working in small groups, she likes to be the leader . . .

I am soooo glad that no-one writes reports about me anymore (Takver can do accounts moderately competently . . .when she doesn't spend her time posting on MN instead!)

. . . enjoys active lessons . . . hmm, that will be most small children that I know then

One that always made me laugh is oft quoted from one of DH's reports:

X would do much better if he stopped losing his books

LoL . . . I also always liked one of the comments on my Mum's school report

"X would progress much better if she actually attended school with some regularity"

and on her leaving report

"We are sad that X is contemplating a career no higher than a bank clerk"

At least these days they soften it a bit

He must realise that in a large group situation , he cannot always have his own way.

He is a creative idividual thinker who sometimes finds it hard to take into account the needs and views of others in the class or group.
can you see a pattern emerging!

He can sometimes give up quickly when he encounters problems with his work and needs a lot of encouragement with those tasks he finds arduous.

Those have to be my favourites as they actually describe the boy .

DS can produce high quality work, and from time to time he has done so.

kittybrown, your ds sounds very, very like my dd . . .

"she shows confidence and has the ability to stand up for her own rights" (age 4 - pre-school class)

...overly dramatic about minor injuries (DD1)
...takes the inevitable small bumps of outdoor games as a personal attack (DS2)

...sings with enthusiasm and some sense of rhythm [but not in tune, I take it...] (DS2)
...sings beautifully, but not at appropriate times (DS1)

...could do well if he would only meet the school system half way (DS2)

...hard to judge his mathematical ability until he agrees to do the work set (DS2, but DS1's was sadly similar)

Oh dear

He enjoys spending time with other children and loves to make them happy and laugh. However this sometimes means that X is 'off task'.

We have seen an improvement in some of his behaviours. (My italics there)

X has the potential to make excellent progress but has limited himself through his behavioural issues.

I think the teacher knows my child pretty well.

There are lots of 5-point scales for various things in the report and the only two topics that he scored above a 3 were religious education and bible studies, he scored 4 for both.

From DS's recorder report
' would do better if he remembered to bring recorder to lessons !'

My brother's trombone report said: "he must learn not to blow his cheeks out."

A friend's report (I'd love to claim it was mine) simply read: "x should shut up."

Takver, I recognised my ds in your dd's first comment too!

We get our reports this afternoon and i can't wait to read the suger coated sentiments.

I like them because I can just imagine the teachers sitting there for ages trying to word them properly. Mind you he has a youngish teacher this year who always emphasizes positive. So who knows what this year's bring!

From ds2's teacher "I enjoy our conversations which are often both interesting and challenging".

To be fair, he could talk the hind leg off a donkey and wants to know everything about everything - its lovely, but exhausting.

From ds1's report 'ds1 is a lovely boy but needs to work on accepting the decisions and opinions of others - particularly teachers' - oops!

I'm afraid he takes after me - he is always right, even when he's wrong!

Ah yes, we also had
"x has a bubbly personality, and has so much to say, it is always interesting talking to her"
we have also had
"x is not always aware of the needs of other children"
and yes, I can see a lot of DH & me in the comments too!

Takver, last year ds1 got "ds1 has an excellent sense of justice and injustice, although he sometimes finds it hard to apply this to the needs and feelings of other children"

Makes him sound terrible, but overall he had a lovely report and his teacher is really fond of him, so its not all bad.

x has a lovely smile when she feels able to relax and we see her smiling more often these days (from teacher that shouts a lot and is getting less stressed now the end of term is in sight! )

& my favourite...
x loves to select her own reading books and may in future need to write her own novels as she will exhaust the supplies in all other areas! (Pround mum moment! )

LoL - that sounds quite familiar too. I don't worry too much as dd always seems to have plenty of friends appearing at the door to play, and I think she is getting better . . .
And at least I don't have to worry about her wanting the latest Hannah Montana/HSM whatever it is 'because everyone else has one'

sorry, x post - trying to reply to moosemama

DD2 (Reception)

"Dd2 is always keen to entertain her classmates with tales of her adventures" = never shuts up.

"Dd2 is enthusiastic about sharing her thoughts and opinions with others" = still never shuts up.

"She has a fine sense of humour, and her stories often have a comic twist" = likes to play class clown.

"dd2's listening skills have improved recently" = we occasionally get her to shut up for longer than 10 seconds at a time.

"Good luck in Y1, dd2!" = phew, someone else will have to deal with her next year.

There was a slightly weary tone throughout, I would say.

Same here Takver, ds1 has a really great group of friends and mixes really well, it even said that in his report, although if you read it without knowing him you'd probably think it was contradictory.

To be honest in my experience children tend not to get offended as easily as teachers about these things.

"Ds2 enjoys sharing his news" = never stops talking

"Ds2 is keen to share his ideas" = never stops talking

"Ds2 is good at sharing his own experiences" = will he ever stop talking?

"Ds2 is usually able to work sensibly and safely" = the rest of the time he's a bloody liability.

PMSL . . . DD's teacher has been known to ask if there is something wrong with dd - because she has been quiet all day!

DD1 doesn't miss a trick - ie she challenges everything