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School...big or small?

28 replies

norfolklass · 24/03/2009 11:36

Firstly apologies for long post-I'll try to be as brief as possible!!
To cut a long story short we moved here 2 years ago when DS was 2 and couldn't get him in any pre-schools,school nursery etc cause they were all already full so he does his 12.5 hrs at a private nursery which is fantastic. We live in a town with a fairly large infants school which is our catchment school but the town has loads of villages around it all with primary schools within a 1.5 mile radius of our house.
DS is now 4(in Feb) and due to start reception in septemeber. We filled in the council appilcation form and put our catchment school as 1st choice and then 2 other primary schools in neighbouring villages as 2nd and 3rd choice. The decision as to which school we've got doesn't actually come out here for another month but I feel as though if he actually gets into our first choice then we've made a really bad decision.
We picked it as first choice because a couple of other children from nursery would be going there,its a lovely school with great ofsted reports and its near so could walk to it...but it just feels wrong somehow. Its quite big with a 2 form intake of 60 so 30 in each class which I know is the norm but just feels so many children. DS is quite a bright happy chap...nothing spectacular but very eager to learn. I have just got this awful awful feeling that he'll fall into the middle of every class and get lost in the system a bit ie that he's not hugely academic (well not yet anyway lol!) but doesn't appear to be a troublemaker (if that makes sense?)so he'll just plod along and like all other parents we just want the best for him.
Even if we get into this school I am seriously considering trying to get him into our second choice which is a small primary in a nearby village. It has a PAN of 15 in each year and always has less than that so hopefully he'll get in. He'll be in a mixed R/Y1 class which wouldn't bother him in the slightest because he loves being with older ones and it just feels like a better school for him. The reasons we didn't put it as 1st choice was that it was in another village so would have to drive everyday,he wouldn't know anyone else going there and because its a primary it doesn't finish until 3.30pm whereas the infants finish at 3pm in the other school! And yes I know how completely daft that sounds but I want his school day to be as short as possible...purely for my benefit lol!!!

So any thought?? Big school near own house so easy to have friends etc round but might not be best school or small school bit further away with no one that he knows but the potential to make a difference to his education!!

Goodness this parenting think is a complete nightmare isn't it!!!

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norfolklass · 25/03/2009 15:47

QOD-LOL sorry your reply just made me chuckle...about going big!! Don't we all!!! Its great to hear (well not great but you know what I mean!) about you went for a smaller school and wished you'd have gone bigger. Its just so scary having to make this huge decision which will shape their whole education.

It was definitely the old head I met...and I think she'd been taking lessons from Alan Sugar so think your dh is right lol!! Yes you're right about the 3pm finish Im sure it'll make a huge amount of difference especially in the summer as well because they'll have most of the afternoon to play outside etc. I actually work all weekend (or at least I do at the moment) so the prospect of him being at school all day and then us not getting home until 4ish and then me working all weekend was not exactly looking very inviting.

Once again thank you so much...and your dh too. You've been fantastic! Oh err don't even want to think about secondary school yet!! I went to a fantastic high school in norwich which has now got an awful reputation (I left in 1993 though) so it just goes to show how quickly schools can change for both better and worse.

Will definitely seek you out if need any more help...might need a bit of virtual hand holding come september as well!!!

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QOD · 25/03/2009 09:47

I sent my dd to a lovely little 1 form intake, I really wish I hadnt!
Smaller friends group = much nastiness
After school clubs are pants - and she wants to do them! Its not a childcare need
I just wish I had gone BIG

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Merrylegs · 25/03/2009 09:45

Not sure if you met old Head or new temp Head but dh says these so-called 'super Heads' are more like Chief Execs - ie very good at management, vision and motivation of staff etc, not so great at inter-personal and pastoral skills (which ironically are often heads of small schools strengths!)

But dh pretty sure they are trying to recruit someone new and permanently for September, so will be a fresh start for everybody!

And a school day that finishes at 3 is fab -especially in the Winter - that half hour makes all the difference - especially when they start after school activities etc.

Am sure you know as well that as long as DS can go to loo independently, eat his lunch without help, dress and undress himself (especially shoes and buttons!), that will all make his transition to big school easier for him.

It's a minefield isn't it?! The right decision is so important, but it's impossible to second guess things.

Good luck with it all - anytime you want to talk Norfolk, seek me out - don't know if there are many of us on here.... perhaps High School advice next (!)

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norfolklass · 25/03/2009 07:54

Merrylegs you are an absolute star! Thats fantastic thank you (and DH!) so much. The head you're talking about was fantastic but me and her had a bit of a personality clash when I enquired about ds starting nursery there. She basically told me that ds was too fat (her words lol!) because she made him try on the nursery uniform and the age 5-6 fitted him (he was 3 at the time lol!)and that I was destroying his education by not wanting him to be there 5 days a week. My family live 25 miles away and I needed to be able to go to see them 1 day which I couldn't do if he was in nursery 2.5 hrs a day. He's not fat incidentally at all but the jumpers were tiny!!!

So although Im sure she was an amazing head Im actually pretty glad she is not going to be there and it was one of the reasons I was looking elsewhere iykwim?

Don't suppose you know what happens after a year if this head doesn't stay?

Once again thank you so so much.

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Merrylegs · 24/03/2009 22:49

norfolklass - just some last minute info on the school I think you have in mind. Please ignore if it doesn't seem relevant...

It had an excellent Head who got it through an outstanding Ofsted last year. On the back of that, she has now left to be a super-Head in the region.

They have tried, but failed (3 times) to recruit a new Head, so have an acting super Head who is only allowed to stay in post for a year.

That said, DH says the village schools around you are tiny - a couple only have 24 kids in, and there are no 'stand outs'. He reckons your local school is still good (it's got a new family centre I think and has shad money invested in it?) and where your Ds's peers go should be an important factor.

Hope that helps and isn't TMI!

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piscesmoon · 24/03/2009 16:52

I would go local and bigger for all the reasons people have already said. I went to a very small village school myself and absolutely loved it, but secondary school was hard because there were so few of us going to the same school. Friendships can be a real problem in a small school if DCs don't get on or get in a clique-you can be lucky but it is a risk.

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norfolklass · 24/03/2009 16:43

Merrylegs-very clever lol!! Hmm yes you're right hopefully will be able to make friends with likeminded people who can actually have a conversation! It was attleborough btw!!

lowrib-thats exactly what I was worried about him not being able to have friends round for tea etc. Hmmm the more and more I think about it the bigger school is the better option.

Seeker-I have just had a long chat with my very elderly parents about this and my dad said the same thing as you about the secondary school which is something I hadn't even considered. Slightly concerning when your parents have more of an idea that you do lol!!

Thanks everyone x

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seeker · 24/03/2009 14:51

There are lots of advantages in big schools

Bigger circle of friends.

More teachers - so if there are a couple he doesn't take to it doesn't matter so much.

Probably more extra curricular activities because there are more people to run them.

Probably more opportunity for setting when he gets a bit older.

less chance of mixed year group classes (some people like them, but I think they are a bad idea.

Less of a shock when the move to Secondary happens (seems a million years away, but it isn't!)

Less chance of the school being closed for snow and stuff because there are more teachers so at least a few of them could get in (I think this is a bad thing - but many don't!)

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smee · 24/03/2009 14:48

I experienced the opposite lowrib. Went to a pushy girl's grammar and was average so nobody bothered with me. Brightest and the bottom of the class got all the attention. I wasn't a problem for them as I ticked all boxes, so coasted quite happily for 7 years. I could have done loads better if someone had noticed me or paid me any attention whatsoever really..

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lowrib · 24/03/2009 14:42

Sorry going a bit off-topic there!

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lowrib · 24/03/2009 14:41

Only speaking from my own experiences (my LO is very young, so I've got all this to come!).
I went to primary school far away from my home. It meant I only saw my friends when it was arranged in advance - there was no casual popping around after school. In practice this meant we rarely had friends round. I would hope to find a local school when choosing a school for my DS as I think it's really important to see friends outside of school.

Also IME of working in as a classroom assistant a few years back, in the school I was in, it was often the kids in the middle who get the most out of mixed-ability classes. Often it's those who struggle and those who are racing ahead who aren't so well catered for. The same was true in the secondary school I attended, which resulted in the clever kids and the ones who were struggling getting bored and often disruptive.

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norfolklass · 24/03/2009 14:29

Loler-yes you are right. At the end of the day being happy at school is the most important thing. It doesn't really matter which school they go to (well it does but you know what I mean?!!) as long as they are happy. I have got a feeling if he did go to the smaller village school there would only be about 8 in each year (had another quick look at the website n there are pictures of the classes and definitely not many in each of them) so that would seriously reduce oppotunities for sports etc.

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Merrylegs · 24/03/2009 14:28

Hmm, town beginning with A, a11 - um
(by) pass

(did you see what I did there!)

Bigger school = more chance of finding like-minded parents/friends.

Village may be too NFN.....

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loler · 24/03/2009 14:16

dd is at a village school with 15 in each year.

She's not really academic but is middling - she seems to get missed out as she doesn't need any extra help (more or less challenging), just gets on with it.

She does love sports though and I'm finding that she hasn't got the chances she would have in a bigger school. The other girls aren't at all sporty in her year and there are only 4 boys so clubs are hard to get together (although the school does try).

Walking to school is great and I never take the car. Having friends from school in our road is perfect for weekends.

The villages being very villagey would be a big consideration. DD is probably the only person in her school without another relative in the school. Larger school larger friend pool is a definate plus point.

Having said all that dd loves her school and her friends - and that's the most important thing.

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norfolklass · 24/03/2009 14:03

Secret Agent Merrylegs...YOU ARE CORRECT!!! Wasn't sure if anybody else would know what a mere was...but you obviously do lol!!

Yes it is very "norfolk" here which is half the problem. Im a fairly intelligent pleasant smiley chatty person who would speak to the stones in the street if they'd answer me but when you start talking to people round here they look at you as if you are from another planet. As I said we've been here nearly 2 years (we lived in a small village/town along the A11 before that which begins with A-can you guess where that is?!) which is where all my "mummy friends" are (if you get what I mean?) and I still haven't got any real "friends" here. Honestly unless you have lived here all your life and they "know" you they just don't want to know...so can only imagine how bad that must be in the villages.

Thanks so so much for taking the time to reply its been really helpful...wish you lived here lol!!! Thanks again!

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Merrylegs · 24/03/2009 13:46

oops, just to clarify - didn't mean to imply your local school is a no-go school - far from it!

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Merrylegs · 24/03/2009 13:44

Secret Agent here - would you say Duck pond or more a MERE? if so, I. Know. Where. You. Are....(I am not as South as you)

Tis v 'norfolk' where you are - (do y'get what I mean?!) which might make village schools v. 'villagey'?

(at risk of being unmasked, due to Dh's job, he does know all the 'no-go' South Norfolk schools BUT sometimes too much information is a bad thing, and schools do change. If your DS friends are going there and it has a good oftsted and good atmosphere and an engaging and motivated Head, then you are doing the right thing, I'm sure.)

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izyboy · 24/03/2009 13:30

My DS goes to our local village primary - the largest class is not english speaking -it has 30 kids. At first he found it pretty full on, but as time has passed he has made lots of friends.

Next year I am thinking of transferring him into the English speaking Unit with only 8 kids in the year group, I am worried about this because personality clashes can be more intense without the diffusion of other children. I would rather a reasonable sized primary class with diversity of personalities.

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norfolklass · 24/03/2009 13:28

Seeline thats fantastic thank you! So far Im hearing all positives for large schools which I really wasn't expecting so Im really glad I posted now. Thanks so much x

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norfolklass · 24/03/2009 13:27

LOL!! Merrylegs we sound like the sas or something!! The town (if you can call it that lol!) where we live begins with D and has a rather large duck pond (for want of a better word!) in the middle of it!! Does that help at all??? Is there anyway to do private messages on here cause would gladly message you!!

izyboy...oooh thank you didn't actually even think of that. Don't think its that small a school but its always a possibility especially at the moment!

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Seeline · 24/03/2009 13:23

Please don't be put off by the fact it is a big scholl. Both my DCs go tothe local primary which is a 3 form intake, but this works well. The year groups work alot together and are able to pool resources. The school also encourages activities between teh year groups, such as the older children reading to the younger ones. There is scope for 'streaming' (although the children aren't really aware of this) which means children can work at their own pace rather than having to keep up with others. The additional funding that a larger school gets allows for better equipment and resources, as well as a large number of teaching assistants. I can't think of any negatives, when referring to my own experiences.

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izyboy · 24/03/2009 13:18

Also if it is too small you run the risk of potential closure!

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Merrylegs · 24/03/2009 13:11

Am South Norfolk but sounds like you may be slightly more south than me? Have lots of ideas about village schools round here, so if it was same area as you, you could give me a clue and I could say yay or nay!

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norfolklass · 24/03/2009 12:53

Wow thanks for all your replies...I guess the mass consensus (sp?!) is the bigger infants school. Don't know why its bothering me so much really...think its just the thought of him being in the middle of 30 other kids compared to the ratio they have at nursery! He's certainly not a shy retiring thing so Im sure wherever he is in the end he'll be fine-its probably just me having wobbles about him starting school in the first place lol!

Merrylegs-yep we are in norfolk...only just though cause we're on norfolk/suffolk border. Whereabouts are you? I lived in norwich all my life so know all about the schools around there but don't really know anyone around here or anything much about the schools apart from what Ive seen and been told so its a bit of a minefield!!

Never thought much about having more children in the class means there is more chance of him being able to work with children of the same ability-thats definitely important as is having friends close by. I may have had slightly rose tinted glasses on thinking of a lovely country primary school with teeny tiny classes and a headmaster who knew everything about everyone lol!! Knowing my luck now we probably won't get into the first choice school anyway!! Still can't believe that in 6 months my "baby" will be old enough to go to school anyway...feel like I just want to press a pause button for a while and keep him as the happy smiley confident little boy he is at the moment!!!

Thanks everyone that has helped hugely x

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smee · 24/03/2009 12:38

I was worried as DS is at a big school - 2 class intake, but actually it's great. Two classes means they can break up cliques/ disruptive groups by juggling who's in what class. There's also a wider selection of kids for your lo to find friends amidst. With so many kids, there will definitely be kids similar in ability to your son, so he can work in groups of same ability and also mix with lots of different abilities too. Very important too I think to have friends on the doorstep. So all in all, I'd say stick with the local school. I'm glad we did. Also, if it's a good school, surely it shouldn't lose any kid, so size shouldn't matter.

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