Should I defer school for my 4 year old boy?

[Fayrazzled]

I know that there are a number of you on here that have discussed deferring entry for your child to reception, and I've read through a number of your threads. The time has come to apply for my son (3 in mid August) and I really don't know what to do.

He is currently at at lovely pre-school but will have to leave at the end of the year as they were assuming he'd go to school next year and they are now fully booked for next year so wouldn't have a place for him.

I'm not so concerned about my son's ability to keep up in reception, although like many little boys he's not keen on holding a pencil and would rather be learning by doing things. However, I'm not sure he's ready emotionally for school. He finds 4 mornings a week at pre-school tough and is very tired in the afternoon. There seems to be such a big difference between him and the girls who'd be in his school year but have just turned 4.

In my heart I think I would rather he deferred his entry to school until he'd turned 5. However, I'd love him to stay at his current pre-school and that's just not going to be possible. Is it worth finding him another pre-school for just one year and then moving him again to school? Or is that just going to be disruptive?

As I understand from posts on here, (thanks lingle!) if we defer his entry he could go into reception rather than year 1- our LEA would allow that, so that's not an issue.

Any thoughts? I can't sleep at night worrying about it. I just wish I had a crystal ball so I could see how he might be in 10 months' time. Thank you.

[lingle]

Fayrazzled, have just tried and failed to contact you off-list. It said something about asking you to send me a CAM message? no idea what that means!

[Firway]

Good reception teachers will monitor your son carefully when he starts school. Make an appointment to see either the head or the reception teacher for next year. In my experience teaching reception, boys who have only just reached their 4th birthday do find school extremely tiring to start off with - even the half days! Sometimes if a child is still finding it hard after half term in October then half days can be extended until christmas or even easter. Ensuring that your child has a good breakfast and an early night when he starts school really does help - you can always spot the children who don't get these things.

Please don't worry about secondary school just yet - whenever you start his schooling he will be with his peer group educationally.
If you do defer his start date he will not be at a disadvantage if he is older - in some cases he will only be a few days older than some of the children.

[sorkycake]

There are a couple of issues here.

There is a full year to go yet and your son may become ready to enter school without difficulty next year.

He won't be of compulsory school age until the term after he turns 5, which will be the September of 2010.

If you choose not to send him to school next year but defer entry, does that mean that application for a place in the school is also deferred for a year? ie Do you apply for a place this year and defer with the LA and school? or do you apply normally next year and chance the rules being changed and suddenly find there isn't a place for him?

[GooseyLoosey]

Oops, that would be late "august" birthday!

[GooseyLoosey]

Dd is a late October birthday and her class teacher has advised me to take her out of school for an afternoon a week. Can you talk to the school and see if they would be flexible if it looked like your ds needed a break.

[Fayrazzled]

I'm sorry- I don't really understand the term "rising 5s". My son is August born so under the standard system would be just 4 when he started school and wouldn't turn 5 until the summer holidays after he'd finished reception.

I just wish he'd been born a few weeks later TBH. Life would be so much easier.

Lingle, are you in Ilkley?

[lingle]

I think the work levels in reception vary from school to school.

At ours, reception is hugely ambitious and they are on to learning that sounds can "pretend" to be other sounds (ie spellings) by the end of the year.

no idea about priority. obviously it evens out in oversubscribed schools since the year before another rising 5 got the place.

[wheresthehamster]

I wouldn't worry about 'work' in Reception! Although they should be able to hold a pencil and control it, most of the day is spent playing or doing practical things.

I would love to know how deferred entry works. Do the deferred children get priority over the rising 5s or do they go through the same admissions criteria? If they get priority, is there a limit to their number? In an over-subscribed school that must mean that a reception child might not get a place because a rising 6 year old has it.

[lingle]

oops!

does sound Scottish though!

[fatzak]

Lingle Nowt but a spit away from Bradford

[mazzystartled]

kirklees is yorkshire - huddersfield

[lingle]

Isn't Kirklees Scotland?

[fatzak]

I'm glad you mentioned the report Lingle as I have been wondering when it would be published. I've been following your threads as DS is August 25th and we are just about to have to apply for him. We are fortunate in that we have a January entry, so he will at least be 4.4, but I really feel that I would like to defer him if at all possible. We're not far from you, Kirklees, but no idea what their policy is on deferring. I think we will apply for the place this year, then see how it goes.

[lingle]

Yes same.
According to yesterday's Telegraph, Sir Jim Rose's interim report is out in a fortnight. Bradford Council were waiting to read this before deciding whether to continue their flexible policy.
fingers crossed.

[Fayrazzled]

Thanks for your comments, Lingle. We're Bradford LEA, so same as you I think.

[lingle]

Ah, should have added, the reception teacher also said it is nothing to do with how "bright" they are.

[lingle]

Hi Fayrazzled. what LEA are you in? If it's not one of the ones I've identified in other threads, I'd love to know there are some more humane ones out there....

I had a meeting with school nursery teacher and school reception teacher last night and - absolutely terrified - broached the subject to school reception teacher. Reception teacher immediately said that as DS2 is a late talker he's unlikely to be ready by September and she supports our decision to defer by a year then place him in reception in 2010. Hurray! So all we need is the confirmation from the council and we're over the finish line! Nursery teacher said she feels passionately that if a boy is put off learning, he's put off for life and that DS2 needs an extra year in nursery.

Nursery teacher even said that she wished more parents had our attitude and that she would be speaking to a few parents of August-borns about their options. She said she wished people didn't see it as "holding them back".

If either teacher had any idea how much agony and how many MN posts I've been through on this, I think they'd be astonished! They had no idea about the controversy or the restrictive policies of other LEAs, they just thought deferment was self-evidently a good idea for DS2.

As for secondary school... the day he starts reception will be the day I set my mind to making sure there is no follow-on problem at secondary school. But the tide is turning already so I'm confident that in 7 years' time it will be a battle I can win.

good luck with the decision!

[annh]

There was a thread here from someone recently who had deferred her son's entry and still gone into reception or whose son skipped a year in primary - can't remember which but the end result was that the child was then entering secondary in a different year to his peer group and secondary said he either had to repeat a year at primary or skip a year of secondary (obv depending on what the original scanario was, which I can't remember). Anyway, the part I remember most clearly was the OP saying that while it was fine for the allowance to be made at primary level, she had no idea that it was going to have to be rectified at secondary level. You might want to check with your LEA what your situation at secondary level is.

[forevercleaningwithmybesoms]

It would be very interesting to see what they say about the secondary school fayraz - so if you find out do post again.

I know what you mean about doing gcses t 15 though. One of mine is an aug baby and would be 15 too, but he doesnt go to school anymore and is home ed, so we shall just do them whenever!

[Fayrazzled]

Yes, as I understand it, my son would be able to go into the reception class if we deferred. I know not all LEAS do (our neighbouring one is very clear that it does not, for example.) Rubberduck, I'd need to check about the secondary school position- I hadn't thought there might be problems then.

Forevercleaning, my son would still be 16 when he did his GCSES in the May/June, even if we deferred. He wouldn't be 17 until the August. If we don't defer, he'll only be 15 when he sits them and will be just 18 before he starts university, (should he ever get that far!)

Gah- it's so hard. I wish the whole system were more flexible.

[RubberDuck]

Argh, what terrible grammar. "... allows children who have deferred into reception instead." There, much better!

[RubberDuck]

Lily, that's normally the case, but OP stated that her LEA allows deferred into reception instead.

[Lilyloo]

I thought deferred meant they started in y1 so started secondary at same time as peers ?

[RubberDuck]

Yes that's what I meant - the LEA may be flexible about primary school start, but less flexible about secondary school start. Worth checking.

[forevercleaningwithmybesoms]

If they defer a year and then start reception surely they would either skip a year at primary school and go into secondary school at normal age, or does it mean he remains a year behind right through and does his gcse's at 17?

That is why mine started a year late but in year 1, they wouldnt allow them to do reception as they would need to skip a year of primary to enable them to go to secondary school at 11.