Dd's first day in reception on Monday and i can't take her.....please advise on my options.

[lisalisa]

Dds who's nearly 5 is starting in receiption on Monday. She's been at the School for 2 years already in its pre-nursery and then nursery. she is familiar wiht the nursery staff and headteacher and of course the children in her class.

I always take the children to school on their first ever day. AFter that my dh does rota wiht another mum.

This year its my best friend and dh's first cousin's son's barmitzvah. In other words my closest friend and family's function on sunday. We are staying the night in the hotel sunday night after the function. The "we" is dh and I and our eldest 3 children. The youngest 2 children , inclujding dd3 the subject of this post, are remaining at home with our au pair as they are not invited .(It is quite common in our circles not to invite childrne at all as this is a 5 * hotel in centrla london and is sit down dinner and dance - our eldest 3 are only coming as 2 are best friends with barmitzvah boy's siblings and other one is close to boy himself. )

I am torn about dd3's first day in recpeiton. Au pair could take her. Au pair is thankfully one of the nice sweet loved ones and dd does love her. I could also let her miss the first day and take her the next day myself instead. I can't drive back from teh hotel to take her as it is over one hour drive and there is a big breakfast planned at hotel next morning and I do'nt really want to miss it - friend would be offended too probalby if i missed it. All other kids attending are having ( permitted) day off school.

My friends all say to sae nd her in with au pair. I'm tempted to do this too but feel a bit mean for dd. What would you do?

[ProfessorGrammaticus]

I'm pretty sure I'd agree with them, Anchovy, I held back from posting on the other thread

[HonoriaGlossop]

I think the OP must have mixed feelings, otherwise she wouldn't have posted.

I'm of the opinion that a party and a lie in isn't as important as her first day at school. Yes she may have been to Nursery etc but this IS different. You only start school once and I'm sure she'd like her mum with her if POSSIBLE - which it is, after all.

[luverlyjubberly]

Have to agree with Honoria - sorry, there's no comparison. Get up early and be there - that's what being a parent is all about..

[Anchovy]

But why IS it different, HG?

At my DD's class, the only difference is that they wore uniform. Same classmates and their teaching assistant moves up with them. Every single other thing about the routine is the same - pe bags, book bags, coat hooks etc. Objectively, it is barely different from DS's move from Y1 to Y2.

It, therefore, only becomes different if the parent's infuse it with meaning. Which is absolutely fine for those who do. But it doesn't mean that all parents do - or should.

[Anchovy]

Luvrlyjubberlyey, but aren't you judging by your standards.

"Get up early and be there - that's what being a parent is all about" - I would have added "for me" at the end of that.

Sheesh - being a parent is about a whole lot more than that for me.

[MrsWobble]

not really anything new to add - I doubt it will make any difference to your daughter whether you take her or not, provided you don;t make a big fuss about it. It therefore depends on how much of a difference it makes to you - and only you can judge that.

If it were me, I'd get up early to drive home and take her - but that's because that's what I want to do - my children wouldn't have minded at all.

[Issy]

I was there for DD2's first day at school, even though she had been dropping off her big sister there for two years and going to the nursery for a couple of days a week for the previous year. On reflection, it may have been something of an error. The Reception teacher makes me ill-at-ease (she's a rabid WOHM-hater and slips in snide comments about 'real mummies' whenever possible), I very rarely drop-off and so was unsure of the routine and I hate driving through rush hour traffic and squeezing our car between the tanks other cars in the car park. I think my anxiety communicated itself to DD2, who very uncharacteristically burst into tears as I tried to leave. Had it been our nanny dropping off, the familiar routine and our nanny's cheerful breeziness would have been much more reassuring and DD2 would have blithely capered into class. At least it deprived the reception teacher of an academic year's worth of anti-WOHM-ammunition.

[orangina]

what a lovely helpful sounding reception teacher you have issy ().....

[Issy]

The odd thing is that she really was an excellent teacher and generally very pleasant. The anti-WOHM comments were almost Tourettes-like. She would say something, I would perform a cinematic double-take and then conclude that she couldn't really have said that/meant that/I was being paranoid. DH's view was that I was projecting my own mother-guilt onto her.

DH was proved conclusively wrong when, chatting to other class WOHMs towards the end of the year, I discovered that they had been the subjected to comments in their children's reading books: "X has missed you so much while you've been away in Japan. I think it's affected his reading."

[ChippyMinton]

The OP said "I always take the children to school on their first ever day."
I suppose my take on parenting is to treat my DC equally (albeit not necessarily the same). I think she will feel sad,after the event, at not making the effort to be there for her DD.

DH's best friend got married the day before DS2's birthday. We had planned to stay over but at about 7pm I decided to drive home (300 miles ) so I could wake up with DS2 on his birthday. He was 2, so wouldn't have known any different, but I still feel guilty at even considering missing part of his birthday.

[HonoriaGlossop]

I think as I said it must 'feel' different to the OP otherwise she wouldn't even have been posting this but would blithely have been on clothes websites planning her outfit instead of on here wondering......and as Chippy says, she has volunteered that she 'always' does this with her others.

I personally think she's answered her own question....

[branflake81]

I would let the au pair take her. She has been going to the school for a while already so won't be too shell shocked. Plus she won't remember who took her or who didn't when she's older, I certainly can't remember stuff like that and really don't care!