Deferring summer borns- your experiences please.

[JoeGargery]

Hello
I have had approval to defer my summer born almost 4 year old such that he starts reception at 5 and one month.
Those who have done this, have you found any downsides?
FWIW he’s very independent and bright. I don’t doubt he’ll cope. I’m just struggling to see any advantage to starting school so young if he can start later.
I’ve been told he can continue in the adopted year group throughout school and can have funding to stay in nursery another year.
WWYD?

[IHeartKingThistle]

I didn't defer my August born DS. He's in Year 5 and has been fine except for his handwriting which I do put down to his fine motor skills not being developed enough when he started. Knowing that, I probably still wouldn't defer though.

And as a secondary teacher, I know that it REALLY matters to them at the other end if they are a different age to the rest of their year group.

[hopefulhalf]

Opposite end here. I have a bright, tall, developed October born Dd. I wish I could have sent her at 3yrs 11m . She was so bored by that 2nd year of nursery and sad that her friends had all gone to school without her. She was equally bored by reception (wanted the other children to sit down and concentrate). She was ok in mid primary although frequently taught "a year up" .But y6 was bad, she was bored and frustrated used as teacher's helper too often particualrly in the rum up to SATs.It's only now in Yr7 that she is appropriately stimulated. If they seem ready i would send them tbh.

[Haworthia]

I find it interesting the way people on these threads (and I’ve read a few) fiercely defend the status quo and are so against summer born deferrals.

I have a bright September born girl and she was never “bored stupid” in Reception, as some people have suggested. She was at a distinct advantage, academically, socially and emotionally IMO.

Now I have a May born boy, awaiting an ASD diagnosis (I’m certain he’s autistic). I’m deferring him. He’s hyperlexic, meaning his reading and number skills are exceptional, but his language and communication skills are way behind his peers. He’s not ready for school. I do worry that he’ll be judged by parents in the playground (that boy who was held back a year) and by other children (they’ll work out his birthday is “wrong” for the year) but I can only do what I feel is best right now.

[Emmapeeler]

@haworthia I know what you mean...

FWIW we had two kids in the ‘wrong’ year at my secondary school and to be honest, nobody ever mentioned it or batted an eyelid. And the kids didn’t hold back on other teasable things!

Nobody in my DS year has even noticed that DS is older, and the few people who do know have commented what a good idea it is (as they know DS).

DS is bright on paper but will well up when faced with a room full of people. We did the right thing, I know that and it’s one of the few things in my life where I haven’t really cared what people think! Go with your gut instinct.

[myself2020]

I have 2 friends that deferred. absolutely the right decision for one child, pretty much disastrous forcthe other.
the child who benefited was born in august and premature (about 6 weeks). he is really flying now
The child with disastrous outcome was early august born, and more than ready for school socially and intellectually, but the parents wanted to give her the advantage of being the oldest. she was born silly in nursery and reception, and made that clear by becoming extremely disruptive and uncooperative. they are now trying to skip year 2....
so, it depends on your child

[Haworthia]

Skipping year two would be disastrous, surely? She’d miss half the KS1 curriculum! Seems like a drastic thing to consider, considering that - as an early August birthday - she’s only about three weeks “off” officially being in the cohort she’s with right now.

I’m surprised they aren’t looking for another reason for the challenging behaviour tbh, because I don’t think being “bright and bored” sounds quite right.

I take your point about deferring for “oldest child advantage” alone is possibly unwise, but equally (and as I said upthread) I have a September child who arrived in reception able to read CVC words... and she wasn’t bored in Reception. Maybe it depends upon the school and the way the EYFS curriculum is delivered as to how academically challenged they are. At my child’s school, they were streamed for Phonics early on and started doing weekly spellings by the summer term of Reception. Then they stream them again for Maths by Y1. Advantage of a four form entry school I suppose!

[BramblyHedge]

My August born has thrived since he started in his normal intake year and is one of the more academically able (and passed 11+ for grammar). All kids are different but I'd go with your sense of if they are ready rather than the month they were born.

[Ariela]

Mine's a summer born in the days you couldn't defer, over the 3 or 4 like her when she started at infants, I'd say she's done perhaps the best academically which may or may not depend on the secondary school (we moved).
She coped fine really, I say it depends on the child and you'll know if they'll cope or not

[BiffNChips]

I have one oldest in year and one youngest. The only difference, now I can compare their end of reception abilities, is that the oldest's handwriting was much better. I suspect the youngest's handwriting will be as good at the same age her sister finished reception (in another 10 months!). The youngest (August born) just got her report and is exceeding in 9 areas including speaking and maths. We did consider deferring her but she was very very keen to go to school and more than able. That said, I completely support it for children with additional needs or who aren't ready for some reason or another. There are three kids in my youngest daughter's class who were deferred , one of whom seems bored and bosses the little one around a lot. On the other hand there are a couple of children in my older daughter's class who should have been deferred. They seem frustrated, struggle with learning and often gett into trouble. One was very premature and should have been in the year below.

[myself2020]

@Haworthia the problem with my friends child is that she was beyond ready for school before her 4th birthday. And took it hard she wasn’t allowed to go with her friends (would have been another school anyway, so parents thought it would be a problem). staying back with the „babies” in nursery completely destroyed her confidence, and the result is a very angry and aggressive child .

[JoeGargery]

Oh, dear.
Like PP, I’m baffled why all September borns aren’t also ‘bored,’ ‘angry’ and ‘aggressive.’

That’s not my worry; it’s more the unexpected complications further down the line I was wondering about.

FWIW, DS wants to stay in nursery and keeps falling asleep in the afternoon, just sits on the sofa with a book and next thing I know, he’s napping.

[myself2020]

As i saud it depends on the child, and you know yours, i don’t. if he’s happy to stay in nursery- great. my friends daughter was very definitely not.
september borns don’t see their whole cohort going to school without them, including several kids born after them...

[myself2020]

And as i said in my post, another child i know is absolutely flying after being deferred. he was not at all ready for school. But the “oldest in the year” advantage as such doesn’t necessarily exist.

[sirfredfredgeorge]

Like PP, I’m baffled why all September borns aren’t also ‘bored,’ ‘angry’ and ‘aggressive.’

Some are, and some can't deal with the lack of esteem that comes from kids overtaking them when they were only "ahead" through age - which is why it's individual, most kids are fine in their own age group, and it's one of the problems, it's impossible to tell how things would have been different had a different choice been made, kids who struggled after another year of nursery, may also have struggled in reception.

[BiffNChips]

Like PP, I’m baffled why all September borns aren’t also ‘bored,’ ‘angry’ and ‘aggressive.’

Well, same as why not all August borns struggle and fall behind.

[BiBabbles]

I don't have them to hand, but there are some studies that have shown strong evidence that the oldest are more likely to have reckless and anti-social behaviour issues and to do this before their younger peers and that this continues throughout schooling into the teen years. This may be connected to boredom, aggression, and anger or any number of other things. There have also been concern that the youngest in year may engage in those behaviours later than their older peers, but at a younger age - that isn't ameliorated much by deferment.

Both groups have specific concerns to be considered. The oldest just have less research due to the popularity in some countries of deferment means more funding and interest. I have one in each category, and am a summer-born myself, and I always find it odd that those who are pro-deferment think that pretending September-borns have no issues isn't more than a little short-sighted. If their kids become the oldest, they might deal with them themselves and get this lack of sympathy and consideration.

There is no perfect system, there are risks and benefits to either, we just have to decide which ones we're more willing to accept. Pretty much every secondary website I've seen has it in their admission policy that they will accept out of year if they think it is in the child's best interest and do take being educated out of year into account, but it's currently a bit of a postcode lottery.

[Haworthia]

september borns don’t see their whole cohort going to school without them, including several kids born after them...

Find me a preschooler who knows what their “cohort” is though? They simply don’t have enough social awareness to know which of their peers are old enough to be heading for Reception in September, which of their peers are younger and therefore aren’t, and where they fit in, in the grand scheme of things. Plus, friendships are so transitory at that age. My child was separated from a number of preschool friends in Reception, and (in the case of one child in particular) they never played together or interacted with each other again!

[MissChananderlerbong]

I brought deferment up with my sons school (August birthday) and they said no one had ever asked for it and there was no need. And that was that! It's just not done round here apparently
He's doing well at school so I've obviously left it now.
I did worry he'd be leaving school later than everyone else, starting uni at 19 and might feel a bit odd

[morepeasinapod]

I’m sure plenty of universities have students starting at 19 thanks to gap years.

[pastaparadise]

We've deferred dc1 who's due to start reception in sept aged 5 and 6 weeks. Absolutely think it was right for him. He's so shy - on the taster day i was the only parent who stayed (he'd made me promise). i do worry though about him feeling self conscious as he gets older, and possibly being forced to skip a year. Ultimately we had to make a decision that felt best at the time.

Ds2 is also late july born, but much more confident physically and socially, and i suspect will be much more 'ready'. no idea whether to defer or not!

It's not normally done round here snd i feel awkward as a parent - i worry other parents will see me as sharp elbowed. In reality i just wish they'd both been autumn borns so we wouldn't be in this dilemma.

[pastaparadise]

As an aside, i work in CAMHS and often saw summer borns struggle, esp boys. For example, higher rates of Adhd in summer borns

[NerrSnerr]

*Haworthia
*
It depends on the preschool. The children preschool my children go to is just for children age 3-4 in the academic year before they would usually be due to go to school so the whole cohort 'should' all go to school at the same time. One boy in my daughter's class deferred and they all knew (including him) that he was the only one not going to school.

[CheerfulMuddler]

I'm finding this thread quite reassuring! We decided not to defer my summer-born - he's a bright kid (not a genius or anything, but definitely holds his own at nursery and is very keen to learn to read). Most of his friends are older than him, some by as much as eighteen months, and the school he's going to has quite a deprived catchment, so I felt like any problems from being summer-born would be outweighed by all the reading etc we do at home. He feels ready to go to school and is excited about it (though also sad to leave his nursery, where he's been very happy). But of course I've been thinking "But all those studies ...!"
So it's nice to hear about bored September-borns, because in my heart of hearts I know he is ready, and will do fine. (FWIW, I was a summer-born and did very well academically, but struggled socially and athletically. DS is more socially confident than I was, but socially is where I do notice the difference between him and the older kids at nursery, so I'll be relieved when I know he's made some friends.

[Neet90]

@morepeasinapod your experience is what we fear. Our current LA has refused but the area we are hopefully buying a house has agreed but I worry that if for any reason we wanted to move back our child would be forced back into the older year group. I know many say its hard for them to show how this is justifiable but in reality they have all the power. How has this impacted upon your child? If you knew this would end up happening would you have sent them age 4 instead? I'm sorry, it seems so unfair, may I ask what area forced you to jump a year.

[zafferana]

I haven't RTFT, but one thing that could be an issue, is that if you want to send your DC to an academically selective school they may insist that he's put in the correct year group at secondary.

We almost deferred DS2 at reception level, due to his immaturity and our worries about SEN, but I'm glad we didn't. He has been diagnosed this year with dyslexia and struggles, but as his headteacher said to me at the end of last term, because he started in the correct year group we still have the option of holding him back in future, if needed. If we'd already done that then we wouldn't have any room for manoeuvre. Knowing we have that option in hand is helpful and reassuring, and given that your DC is just young, but otherwise able I'd let him start on time. There are lots of DC born in the summer who do just fine in their correct year group and unless there are concern about possible SEN I wouldn't do it.