Settling in for reception 2 weeks of mornings?!

[Sparky888]

Does anyone else find the varied and really long settling-in period at reception primary school in the UK in September so backward?

Ours don’t start in the first week of school. Then the second week they start on different days, in groups, for 2hrs, then a few days of 1pm then after that a full day until 3pm. They have been in nursery full days since babies. We need our annual leave to use in the school holidays. Why drag this out and use up annual leave of 2-3 weeks?

Does this burden fall (or is taken by) mostly women? Does anyone have any evidence this prolonged transition is better for the child then a few half days?

Lastly, why do we all put up with this ....?

Not in favour of just dumping them in a new school with no settling period. It’s just the very prolonged, and so different between schools, period which seems to take no account of most parents being employed now.

[4strings]

Dd1 had two weeks of afternoons only. I can’t remember how we managed it but I do recall it being very stressful. I work in education myself (not in a school) and we weren’t permitted to take leave. I think I had to get HR to give me permission after a lot of negotiation. With dd2, the school had a new head who did away with that: the exact words were “I appreciate that there are many working parents and it can be very hard to manage your working hours if we make demands like this”. They had the reception kids start a day or so after the rest of the school which was definitely manageable.

While school isn’t childcare, it’s a genuine issue faced by working parents.

[QuickQuestion2019]

OP it's ridiculous and takes no account of the reality that PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK TO PAY BILLS. Just tell school they are going in full time, end of.

[Times10]

Ours is a few days of part time but they also state that parents can decide to leave the DCs there full time.

[WrongKindOfFace]

It’s a pain in the arse and in the majority of cases a slow start isn’t necessary. In fact it’s probably more unsettling to do a random mixture of mornings, afternoons and full days.

I did ask if it was possible to do full time from the start and was made to feel like the worst parent ever.

[SarahTancredi]

Urgh...staggered starts arebthe worst. Turns the whole thing into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. If it wasn't some long drawn out process of inconsistency and fucking about I'm sure there would he far less issues with settling in than there are.

Dds school had three weeks. First week and 2 days ( they start on a Thursday usually) you pick them up before lunch. The next they stay for lunch then you pick up. And in the third week they stay all day.

I used to have to get 2 buses to the school so there was no point even going home really so I had to find somewhere to hang around either in the school village or in the town centre til it was time to go get then. Was a pain in the arse.

The options already exist for flexi schooling, part time, deferring a term etc people who feel their kids need it can just use them.

The rest are probably far more confused and unsettled doing 9-11 one day then 12-2 the next and never knowing the routine if the day until the full time starts than they are starting all together and getting straight into it.

[Sparky888]

Yes! I really feel that it will be unsettling with so many transitions for a short time each day!

[Langrish]

I deliberately chose just mornings for the first term. Felt that going from 3 nursery mornings to a full week was just too much for a 4 year old.

For the first half term I picked up before lunch, for the second, they stayed until after lunch then full time for Christmas term. Worked brilliantly, no settling in issues at all. Several parents didn’t even realise they had the option.

[SarahTancredi]

I deliberately chose just mornings for the first term. Felt that going from 3 nursery mornings to a full week was just too much for a 4 year old

Yes that was an.option at dds school as well..they could do part time for up to 2 terms. They expected them to be full time from.srping term.

With that option it makes the rest of it seem ridiculous.

[Parker231]

For those who feel that a staggered start will unsettling and confusing, as well as totally impractical for working parents, send your DC’s full time from day one. You don’t need the consent of the school. It’s a legal right. If the school are difficult about it, it say a lot about the school not understanding children and working parents.

[locketsprocket]

My Dd starts on Wednesday 4th and the first 3 days she goes until 12pm then straight into full time the following Monday

I remember when my oldest started school it was a nightmare, Thayer staggered it and had few kids a day and because Dd was the youngest (Aug) she didn't start until around the 18th then had about 2 weeks of early finishes ... total nightmare

[spanieleyes]

We have one day where the 40 children are split into two groups, one in the morning and the second in the afternoon-our local nursery will take the children for the alternate period if parents want. Then all children are in until after lunch for 2 days-with the children who need extra transition in school in the afternoon too (in just a small group, for those with SEN or have not been in a care setting before) and the everyone in.If parents however wanted full time from the start we would do so but lots don't!

[MarchingFrogs]

This is going back a few years, but when we were looking at local schools for DS1, I was told by our catchment school that it would start him on a whole term of half days after Christmas, then full time after Easter. My suggestion that as he was already used to full (07.45 - 18.00) days in nursery, we could scrap the half days bit and just start after Easter full time, was met with a look which clearly asked which stone had I crawled out from under? Cue us actually getting a place and a cosy chat with the HT, in the meantime, she had discovered what DH did for a living - think high social status - and the suggestion that we could do exactly what I had asked for came from her. Needless to say, we chose an alternative, OOC but still very local, school, where the starts were in staggered groups, but full days (this was a while before the current coordinated admissions scheme became law everywhere, hence the simultaneous in- and out of catchment offers).

DD and DS2 in their turn started on full days in the autumn term, date given by school but negotiable. For DD, who had been gagging to start 'big school' since big brother had when she was 19 months old(!) , we successfully got a start on the first day of term.

[SimonJT]

My son will be full time from day one, a staggered start must be really annoying where childcare is concerned.

[TooStressyTooMessy]

Yes, it is absolutely ridiculous and a childcare nightmare. Plus it is very disruptive to the children shunted here, there and everywhere for 2 weeks. Mine were used to full days at nursery 3 days a week. They were not and never have been tired by the very short school day.

[SarahTancredi]

Yes, it is absolutely ridiculous and a childcare nightmare. Plus it is very disruptive to the children shunted here, there and everywhere for 2 weeks

Begs the question whether it was a measure to solve a problem that we are responsible for creating our selves.

Maybe if we didnt make such a huge deal out of everything. Talking back to school cards and presents, bigging it up all the time and constant photos on face book and relatives calling to see how it went and entire families including next doors hamster taking and picking up. It wouldn't be such an issue.

Any benefit is also surely undone when they allow parents into the classrooms to drop off. Just what tiny barley 4 year olds need is to be surrounded by 60 adults in a small room where they are arse height to every one of them and cant even see where to put their bags.

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

I think where I live now it’s 3 weeks of half days, and then full time after that. Where I used to live (coincidentally where I would say there was a higher proportion of working parents) they were full time from day one. Although they were split into September and January starters by birthday. I do think that it should be a choice for parents, not something arbitrary set by the school.

[TooStressyTooMessy]

Totally agree Sarah.

I hate all this parents going into the classroom, watching lessons and activities etc. Of course some children need it but if your child really needs that you can’t even get in to help them as the room is full of parents who do not need to be there!

Mine are much better with a drop and run approach and less build up. Teachers must hate all those parents in the classroom. Our school tried to instigate a stay and play session for children already in reception. Thankfully it was so unpopular they dropped the idea .

[Parker231]

Our nursery didn’t accept children for part time during any setting in hours at school as they filled the places for those wanting hours for the full year.

[spanieleyes]

When my youngest started school his elder brother was in year 2. It was a 15 minute drive ( I had just moved to the area and was awaiting the appeal date for my local school) We had
Week 1-left home at 8.30 so eldest was taken to school at 8.45, home at 9.00. youngest taken to school at 9.45 for a 10 o'clock start, returned home for 10.15, left again at 11.45 to collect youngest at 12, back home by 12.15. left home again at 2.45 to collect eldest at 3.00
Week 2 --left home at 8.30 so eldest was taken to school at 8.45, home at 9.00. youngest taken to school at10.45 for a 11 o'clock start, returned home for 11.15, left again at 12.45 to collect youngest at 1, back home by 1.15. left home again at 2.45 to collect eldest at 3.00
Week 3--left home at 8.30 so eldest was taken to school at 8.45, home at 9.00. youngest taken to school at 9.45 for a 10 o'clock start, returned home for 10.15, left again at 1.45 to collect youngest at 2, back home by 2.15. left home again at 2.45 to collect eldest at 3.00.
week 4--left home at 8.30, both taken to school at 8.45, home at 9.00. , left again at 12.45 to collect youngest at 1, back home by 1.15. left home again at 2.45 to collect eldest at 3.00.
week 5- left home at 8.30, both taken to school at 8.45, home at 9.00. , left again at 1.45 to collect youngest at 2, back home by 2.15. left home again at 2.45 to collect eldest at 3.00.
week 6-both full time!
week 7 -half term!

It was a bloody nightmare. Thankfully I was successful at appeal and both started at the local school after half term!

[BrokenWing]

ds was only half days for the first 3 days then they all went full time. He was 5.5 (Scotland) when he started and going full time that quickly (even after full time nursery 4 days a week) was a shock.

I had never seen him so tired after full school days, he was an overtired tearful mess and we had to bring his bedtime forward a full hour. This meant home, homework, dinner, bath, bed and not much else for a long time. A longer settling in time would have been better for him (but a nightmare for us working FT) so I do see why the schools do it, although some friends had part time until 1/2 term which is a bit much.

[PCohle]

Presumably the school are doing it because in their experience it works best for the majority of the kids. Rather than it being a nefarious plot to annoy working parents.

[SarahTancredi]

Mine are much better with a drop and run approach and less build up

Sounds perfect. Parents in the playground isnt much better. Kids know where they are supposed to be . Where they line up etc. Except again they cant get there without running the parent gauntlet.

And if they are lucky enough to have a reasonably clear route to their class spot guaranteed some parents will be there holding their kids hands in the line or grabbing the teacher leaving the poor buggers stood there after everyone else has gone in.

Let go ffs.


The irony of the situation woyod ge funny if it wasnt so frustrating.

Schools:- we arent child care so after using all of your holiday coping with the summer holidays please take unpaid leave now and be available to drop your kid off /pick up at any random time.specified for the next month.


Also schools:- we need to.increase parent involvement so please come to our open day/evening, and our assemblies and sports days and curriculum meetings and trip information meetings. Akd also we know you had to take a bunch of unpaid leave but we are having a bake sale, mufti day, come dressed as a superhero day, Victorian day, we need donations of tissues glue sticks, hand gel, spare clothes and underwear. We are also raising money for X to go to Australia for her dance competition so we are doing a sponsored track event, also we have noticed some.of you arent in correct logo'd jumper please can you ensure your child is dressed appropriately...

Erm

[DippyAvocado]

Do you know any other parents in the same position? PP is correct that legally children who are 4 by 31st August are entitled to a full-time school place for the entire academic year. The LEA had to step in when a school local to me tried to keep children part-time for a full term!
You are perfectly entitled to insist your child starts full time for the first day but it will be easier (and nicer for your DC) if you can get a few other parents to join you.

[Youngandfree]

In Ireland for the first TWO YEARS they finish an hour earlier!! My DD finishes at 1.20! Next year it will be 2.20 until she is 12!

[SnowyAlpsandPeaks]

My ds are 14 & 18, they were both drop and run (okay with ds1 the reception teacher ushered me out of the door and through the gate) from day 1. Full days 9:00-3:30. It would have been a nightmare for us if we had to do staggered starts! I know school isn’t childcare etc, but parents work, and many now don’t have family to rely on.