5yo refuses to write (Reception)

[yummycake123]

Hi
DS (5) is in Reception.
He's doing really well and hitting his targets. But one thing that he hates is writing. Even his teacher told us that she struggles to get him to write; once he starts he does it, but initially refuses.
We've been trying to do writing exercises at home but now, as soon as I say writing, he goes into meltdown!
How do I change this? I don't want him to write pages obviously, but I think he gets annoyed because if he can't do a letter properly he immediately goes "Oh Mummy, I CANT!!!"... I encourage him and say Don't worry let's try again...
I think to improve and gain confidence he has to practise and he doesn't want to practise... I've bought writing books, we have magazines, pen control books...
What else can I try?

[petrolpump28]

Japril. How very sad. He is a small child with tons of potential. Children develop different things at different rates.

[user789653241]

Japril, don't worry too much right now. My ds is older, and I have seen so many changes among his friends. There are quite big difference among children in reception/ks1. But by ks2, most of them have caught up or over taken early developers.
Having amazing imagination is a true gift and should be encouraged.
Numbers and literacy, you can do lots of things in daily life to encourage good grasp of the concept.
Lots of play encouraging fine/gross motor skills will benefit him with writing when he is a bit older.
you can do fun number related things everyday. Count the steps, look at the number plates/house numbers, clocks, use money at shops, measure ingredients when cooking, etc.
Read together, talk about books, any books, even books without words would help him with comprehension and other skills.

[Japril]

I am having the same problem. School have told me that if my son cannot write a sentence that can be read by the KS1 leader he will not be working at age related expectations. Today he told me he is working in a special writing group with 4 other boys (who are all younger than him) and it makes me feel so sad. At the same time I don’t want to push him and turn it into a battle but then I worry that if I don’t then I am condemning him to a life of failure.
He is still on the red reading level and i’m not sure how his maths is so it isn’t like these are his strengths. He does have an amazing imagination and is very personable but these don’t seem to count for anything at primary school.

[user789653241]

I think good thing about site like this is that you get many different opinions. Some of them is due to immaturity/young age, and some maybe due to sen. It's good for parents to know about all the different reason why your child may not be doing so well. They know their child. They can have more detailed assessment of their child if they suspect there maybe something wrong, and what the symptoms are like, rather than not knowing anything about it.

[petrolpump28]

well I guess rude and ill informed is a step up.

[BingTheButterflySlayer]

It was a very rude, ill informed comment considering just how hard it is to get a diagnosis of any of these syndromes.

[petrolpump28]

The point to which I was alluding is practically every time a comment is made about a child 'struggling' the conversation quickly jumps to additional needs. I don't think a 5 year old who doesn't like writing has additional needs. I am neither ignorant nor moronic.

[user789653241]

Since summer holiday is coming up, you can do the summer holiday diary?
He can draw, write some comments, stick some photos/tickets/etc.
Make it fun and not work.
My ds loved it at that age.

[BingTheButterflySlayer]

ah the syndrome appears.

You pig ignorant moron.

[RainbowGlitterFairy]

Make it a game. Draw swirly patterns for him to copy, play shops with a shopping list, post offices and send postcards, doctors and write notes, garages and fill out an MOT etc, whatever he is into. colour pictures, do some painting, write in shaving foam with his finger, draw in mud/sand with a stick. A lot of children who hate writing on paper seem to like writing on a small whiteboard, no idea why it works but you can usually pick them up in poundland.

[WORKWORKWORKWORKWORKWORK]

My son is in reception, and hates writing! If really pushed, he will write a full page but once he makes a slight mistake - oh my god, he cries, scrunches the paper up, throws it in the bin, says he’s never writing again.

I think the permanence of writing something is difficult for children who are otherwise quite high ability.

I’d say just keep going with reading & counting & it’ll fall into place. If not, later down the line, then that’s what the teachers are paid for (and I say this as a Year 1 teacher).

[catslife]

My dd was a very reluctant writer in reception - she's now taking English at A level.
One problem she had though was that she needed glasses as she couldn't see properly - her writing improved significantly with the right prescription. Fine motor control can also be a problem at this age as well and we practiced bead threading etc.

[Ivory200]

This was my daughter! Reception teacher tearing out hair! First week back in Y1, wrote a whole paragraph. Asked her what changed-"Mummy I just didn't want to write then, and now I do!"
For what it's worth, she flew through the rest of school top of the class. Your son will write when he's ready

[Waddlelikeapenguin]

He's only wee!
If worried I would encourage things like doing mazes on paper & playing drawing games to help his coordination & pen muscles.
However none of mine have written much at 5 (we home ed) & it came together by itself easily a bit later.

[Orangesandlemons82]

My son is in Year one now. Last year in reception he really didn't want to write at all and would have to be pushed to try. He has been much better this year, his teacher suggested activities to strengthen his hands so he helped me peel veg, cut up wrapping paper and help me wrap presents, playing with play dough etc. I think he was also struggling with being left handed, he was holding his pencils awkwardly and it was hard for him to copy the teacher.

I won't say that he loves writing now, but he will do it, it is readable and much neater. Try not to worry, I was in a panic last year thinking that he would fail his GCSEs because noone would be able to read his answers if he had even managed to write at all 😂

[Mishappening]

Oh leave the poor child alone - practicing at home something he is forced to do at school but hates doing is unspeakable! Home is where he can relax.

Lots of boys don't get the hang of writing for a long time - give him something requiring gross (as opposed to fine) motor skills and he will be great. Give him some chalk and let him draw patterns on the paths. Stay away from letters at home - let him do patterns. Or just race about and be a little boy!

School can be a very difficult environment for little boys and the parents' job is to be an antidote to that, not join in in the hassle for him.

[yummycake123]

Thanks for the comments and suggestions.
I'm not stressing or putting him under pressure; I was asking for feedback as he is really adverse to writing and the teacher also mentioned it.
School have started to send us writing sheets every week (for cursive), I think we've received 8 so far and we've done zero.
I'll focus on play doh, beads, painting and things to improve his motor skills.
He writes his name and he can copy letters when he's in the mood, writes a few words phonetically. He draws lines, circles, shapes but isnt a big drawer. He doesn't like colouring either-never has...

[petrolpump28]

ah the syndrome appears. He's 5. In more enlightened societies he wouldnt be at school for another 2 years, let alone writing.

[Starlight2345]

My DS has dysgraphia ( I am not suggesting your DS has this btw )

one of the saddest things about the current education system is this constant push.

Learning is supposed to be fun..

Leave school to do the pushing that is more than enough for somoene who doesn't want to write

I agree.. paint with water on walls, chalks, disco dough.

Also work on things to build core strength that can also help

[BabiesDontNeedDaddies]

Does he draw at all?

[BottleOfJameson]

He'll be fine. It's just classic for a boy, usually their other skills are much more advanced than their fine motor. I wouldn't wish the writing too much. Just do activities (find the coin in the playdoh etc) that encourage fine motor skills. Maybe try to sneak in some writing during the long summer holiday (e.g. help you write a shopping list - he can write biscuits at the end or something). Sign a birthday card for grandma etc.

[FurForksSake]

Theraputty is good for strengthening, you can get it from Amazon and then look at rolling/snapping bits off/pinching it and manipulating it.

I laminated some printed out exercises and my 5-year-old enjoyed drawing over those. We try and do some writing every day and now he is doing really well, he will be just short of exceeding by the end of the year from a point of refusing.

[chickywoo]

My dd was a bit like this and continued into year 1 - she didn’t refuse to write altogether but when faced with a task that was a bit more challenging like ‘write about your weekend’ she would refuse to even make a start, what we did come to realise was that she was sitting next to a couple of girls who had beautiful handwriting that did it effortlessly and we think it knocked her confidence because she knew hers wouldn’t look like that made me feel so upset to think that she must have felt like that as she is confident chatty girl! And made me feel even worse that it took us so long to realise! Anyway now by the end of yr 1 she is writing some lovely sentences independently and and really tries hard, and likes doing shopping lists, letters for granny etc at home. I think it comes eventually, I didn’t push too hard as attempts at homework ended in frustrations all round!

[fuzzyfozzy]

What vintage said.
I'd also add foam letters into the bath, playing with sounds and building cvc words too as it may be his phonic knowledge worrying him.
Keep it fun
If he likes a word or letter he's done on a whiteboard copy/take a picture so you have something to share with people.
Have you tried rainbow writing? You do a large letter in the middle of a piece of paper, child then goes over it with another colour, then another colour etc. You've practised motor skills and have a piece of work to share, you're not trying to exactly go over the letter if you see what I mean

[petrolpump28]

soon , nobody will be writing