Private school

[Sugarypie]

Hi I am sure this question has been asked many times but we are thinking of sending our daughter to private school from primary. Our reasons are small class sizes but I am so debating the state school near us as it’s outstanding and looks really good. We both work fulll time so not much time left in the week to support her through school so I am thinking that private school will be better long term as small class sizes and this private one is a really good one when it comes to education. I am also wondering if she would get lost in a class of 30 as I am hearing from other parents that the case. We can afford the private school as we only have one child but of course we would still have to make some sacrifices which is fine as we have been paying Nursery since she was 1 years old. But there is a little voice in my head that says is it worth paying all this money. I mean I went to state school and I managed to get a degree and a good job. But than in the older days i think the education was a little better than now. Very strict and good state education. So I am swaying towards private for now but is it a good reason to choose private just because of the class size? What do you all think?

[grasspigeons]

my nieces go to a private school (its a good one) and my children a state school. For the reception, year 1 and year 2 , I couldn't really see a huge difference between what the children were offered educationally. I think the state possibly was better as it seemed more in line with current thinking on learning through play.

The next 4 years were quite different. The difference boiled down to two things - much better facilities and materials and more specialist teachers at the private school.

Things like in DT actually having a workshop and wood and metal and DT teacher with a relevant degree and a whole afternoon every other week dedicated to the subject, but my children have a DT day each half term with their generalist teacher and card/paper as the only materials. My children are taught French by a teacher who doesn't speak French - not even a GCSE. My nieces have a French teacher with a French degree and are also offered Latin.

I would definitely look more at the difference of the offering much further down the line and whether it would be possible to join in year 3 and save yourself some fees!

[BertrandRussell]

“so that's the point at which you need to separate your DC from these kids“

I love it when people are upfront and honest about their reasons for using private education. Well done!

[Bellamuerte]

Private school is less important at primary level as kids haven't diverged enough to make a difference. Those who will eventually become wicked are still little children so aren't that bad yet. Secondary is when problematic behaviour emerges among some pupils, so that's the point at which you need to separate your DC from these kids.

[HamishBamish]

Personally, if you have an outstanding state school then I would use that for primary and go private for secondary. A lot of people do this and the children seem to have no issues making the transition. I would visit both schools and see what you think. Remember, private doesn't always mean better and they are often very different so you have to choose the right one for your child.

We opted to go private the whole way through as our options for state primary schools weren't that great. It would have cost more to move house than to pay 2 children through private primary. It also had an excellent after school club provision which was the final decider.

[Blankscreen]

We moved from.private to state and I feel that the quality of teaching is better.

There are sports clubs at my son's state school every night after school as well as sports teams to play in. I pick up at 4:20 every day after he's has done some form of sport.


Great wrap around care so in theory I could drop him at 7:15 and pick him up at 6 if I needed to. that wasn't on offer on the private school.

I just post this to give some balance and to reiterate the point that it really does come down to the individual schools which you are comparing. There are so many variables.

If you can, take the money out of the equation and decide however for most people the money is. HUGE factor.

[CharlotteC77]

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you. The state school option sounds great for you (we don't have any outstanding options near us unfortunately - not that that is the be all and end all, but it's a good sign at least). I also went to state schools and ended up with a good degree and a good job. Private isn't everything, you've got to do what's right for you as a mum and you as a family.

[Sugarypie]

Thank you for your feedback but I just couldn’t afford private schools for 2 kids. I have one now but I am sure I will get pregnant soon and have another so I can’t send only one to private either. Anyway I wish I had the money to do this even though I work full time I can’t afford it for 2 kids

[CharlotteC77]

They also don't have homework as they do it all at school - game changing for your weekends!

[CharlotteC77]

I moved my two - DS in Year 2 and DD in reception - from state to private in September. This was primarily because we live in a rural area and both work and I just couldn't make the wrap around childcare work - it was an absolute nightmare and I was always late to pick up and constantly getting shouted at. We don't have any family nearby and the childminder couldn't do school pick up as she did pick ups elsewhere so I had to pull in favours EVERY SINGLE DAY. I forgot to do this on numerous occasions and the kids got left at school. It was a nightmare!! Anyway, the point is - I moved them for that reason rather than all the other reasons. But now I am a total convert - my son has transformed from someone who hated PE and all types of sport (he's never been physical and was always the slowest) to someone who is loving rugby, hockey, swimming, you name it - he says games is his favourite thing to do now, and his confidence has increased dramatically as a result. I am sure this is because they do an hour a day rather than 30 minutes a week. He is also playing musical instruments and learning French - basically just trying out different things that he didn't have the opportunity to do before because I was working and couldn't ferry him to clubs. He hates clubs - he still chooses just playing after school now (I can pick them up anytime between 4pm and 6pm) but I don't mind this as he's doing so many things in the school day. My daughter is a little less enthusiastic - she's getting on well, but she was getting on well before. I'm not sure she 'needs' that push in the same way because she's quite self-motivated - but she loves all the clubs and signs up for everything. They're quite opposite! They also have 1-1 reading every day as opposed to once a week before, and you get lots of feedback on their performance - before it was just a parents evening once a year (or was it once a term? Might have been once a term) but now we get full reports home every term and a proper meeting with the teacher every half term. It all just feels much more geared to working families - and as it's a boarding school if you ever have a disaster about picking up they will just take the kids into supper with the seniors (which they love) and it's no drama.

In summary -

1. I would visit the schools and base your decisions on how well each school matches your child and your family situation.
   
2. There is so much more to prep schools than small class sizes. Being in a rural area, ALL the schools have small class sizes. For me, it's worth it because of all the extra opportunities they provide that I just couldn't provide myself. And it makes life so much easier when you're a working mum and forking out £££ on wrap around childcare anyway.
   

Hope that helps!

[Sugarypie]

Hi of course it’s ok I am not offended at all. My fertility problem is another subject but I have been thinking about it and I am now more towards the outstanding state school. I did see it and it was nice actually , it’s also walking distance from us. And if it doesn’t work out than I can always send her to private later x

[millimat]

Op have you visited both schools? Gut instinct says such a lot.
I'm a teacher in an outstanding state primary school but I would choose a private school over it for my child if I could afford it.
Ofsted ratings don't always say it as it really is...

[Yogagirl123]

So sorry OP, just to make it clear I meant a choice between a private or state school, I thought that was the question? Wishing you all the best and once again sorry if my post caused confusion or hurt you, never was that my intention.

[Sugarypie]

I wish I could have another child and my choice would be another child over private school for my daughter but it’s just not looking likely and now my husband wants to stop trying:(

[Yogagirl123]

Your choice OP. My DS’s went to an outstanding secondary school, one now left and at college, my younger son is still there. It is a brilliant school, I would question whether a private school could provide a better education. Every child is different I am sure you will make the right choice for you DD. Good luck.

[BertrandRussell]

"Quite an insensitive thing to say to someone who is struggling to have another child. "
The OP was pondering whether to stop ttc so she could send her first child to private school. I think that would be a huge mistake.

[CappuccinoCake]

It isn't the same but we ve had sport every day in junior school at optional after school clubs, school orchestra, music lessons etc.

It's also freed up money so theoretically we could pursue sport at a high level at a local club/additional holidays etc.

However we ve got 2 children and not as high income as anticipated. Ok don't doubt a private school experience is lovely but I'd still choose a sibling and look for a suitable school unless I cou ld afford the fees with ease. You can buy trips and experiences and other cultural capital

Unless you are working long hours and truly couldn't take then to a local sports club/swimmimb/whatever it is they like.

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

Quite an insensitive thing to say to someone who is struggling to have another child.

[AveEldon]

I agree with BertrandRussell - Sibling over private school every single time

Even with one child - if money is tight, save and consider private secondary instead

[BertrandRussell]

Sibling over private school every single time

[trinity0097]

Where I teach one of the things we have is daily sport with a proper sports teacher every day, from reception. Things like that you just can’t get in state schools.

[NinaNoSleep]

Remember to ask about teaching qualifications too. in private schools (and academies) teachers don't need to be qualified to teach. That would make me reconsider my options.

[Sugarypie]

Thanks again for replies. I am more towards the private option because of al these things you mentioned. We can afford it for one child but not for two so I have to decide by April whether we will still try for a second or not. I am not getting pregnant and at my age closer to 40 not looking likely :( anyway so I might just accept it and send her to private at least I have one child who I can give the best I can

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

The only difference may be class sizes in the pre-prep, but I think if you look further up there will be more differences.

What is the structure like from Y3 at the school you are looking at? My DS (Y3) now has all his lessons taught by specialist teachers, the kids move round to the teachers and Science is in the labs, DT is in the workshop, ICT in the tech centre, French in a language suite, Art in a beautiful bespoke studio, Drama in the performance space and they use the theatre belonging to the senior school for shows. He also has about 10hrs of sport a week across PE, sports coaching swimming lesson/ squad training and matches (at least one match every week, match teas are a big thing). It is really pretty different to KS2 in the school I teach in.

As you both work full time the wrap around could also be a big deal. My DS can come home every day at our choice of 4.20pm, 5pm, 6pm or 7pm. If he were to come home at 7pm he would have had dinner. He could also book in to sleep over on an ad hoc basis. He hasn't done either of the latter two things yet, but I'm sure he will when he is older. Coming home late is not like being 'left' at school- because it's a boarding school lots of kids are still there, the staff are still there and the school is still busy and buzzing well into the evening. Makes working FT so much easier. He is in school on Saturdays though and has very long holidays, which might be less appealing to you.

Anyway, I recommend you make sure you look further up the school and see whether the set-up will work for you/ your DD.

[Blankscreen]

Another way to look at it is of you go private you will free up the outstanding state place for a child who's parents possibly can't afford the private option.

[BubblesBuddy]

Sugarypie: If you cannot easily afford it for one, then you will struggle for two. Fees go up at least 3% every year and you really do need two decent incomes to afford private for two.

I really can assure you that state schools are also nurturing (why wouldnt they be?) and private schools can be significantly more focussed on tests and high achievement. Be careful about what you really want.

It is also rather odd (and lacking insight) for a nursery to suggest a child will be bored in a state school! Even state school pupils go to the top universities! Of course they are not bored (unless they are genious level of course then that's a whole different board game) and the curriculum can be exciting in a state school as well as in a private school. Sometimes it is way more creative. Sometimes the teachers are better because their professional devlepment is more central to the school as is their annual performance review which some private schools still do not engage with.

If you want, and get, a very varied set of extra activities, art, sport, music and drama taught by specialist teachers, then private can be excellent. If it is just standard class teachers who only manage because it is a small class of hand-picked children, then I would evaluate what you are paying for, especially if funds are tight.